Dating Tips Russian Sexy Ladies!

Russian Women are Only After Passports &

2007-10-27T09:47:00.001-04:00

More myths and truths about Russian women of the former Soviet Union:

1. It will be a paradise on the earth after I marry a Russian woman.

2. Russian women are only after passports, and will divorce their husbands as soon as they have the passport.

An old proverb says that it's very easy to find a suitable partner for marriage: one just must be a suitable partner himself.

Another nice saying is: Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Marrying a Russian woman does not have a principle difference from marrying any other woman: you yourself are responsible for your success. If you are truly in love with each other, nothing can interfere with your life-long happiness.

The only way to get what you want is to not fool yourself. Unfortunately there are some women looking only for foreign passports. If you are 65, have health problems, very average life and dream to get married to a girl of 18 years old, you may meet more than 1 of them.

The overwhelming majority of Russian women seeking husbands abroad are honest in their intentions. They want to have a reliable partner, happy family and stable future. They are not going to marry a guy just to divorce him in a couple of years.

But they are also not going to take care of a man with serious handicaps devoting their best years to him. Sorry to tell you that, but if you are in a wheel-chair, your chances with real Russian ladies are slim.

You must not expect too much of your marriage to a Russian woman. It is not nationality which makes a marriage successful. It is honesty, respect, trust and mutual efforts.

Russian women do have more experience and skills for developing successful relationships but it can't grow only from one side.

If you are open and honest, and don't think that you can get something for nothing, then chances are you will succeed in marriage with a Russian woman.

Next time I want to tell you about . . .

The truth about Russian women seeking love, romance and marriage in the West is that they are not exotic beings who are very different from their Western sisters. They are special in the sense that what you see in the Internet catalogues are only the best, and those best were chosen from a very specific category of women who were brave and intelligent enough to start this adventure.

The only statement of dating agencies that is close to the truth, is that Russian women make good wives. Brought up in the situation where anybody depends on everybody, they are very flexible and easily adapt to any situation. They are used to compromise.

Russian women seeking partners accept the rules of the game and act according to the representations originated from dating agencies. In some extent both agencies and women believe that all the positive myths considered above are true. Internal intentions stay invisible and sometimes even unconscious . . .

(Get my ebooks so you can avoid personal heartbeat and financial break!)

*Above was written by Elena Petrova

Russian Girls and Russian Women are Only Interested in Your Money

2007-10-14T09:14:00.000-04:00

More myths and truths about Russian women of the former Soviet Union:

1 ) Russian women are not interested in your money or financial situation.

2) A Russian girl will love you as you are.

3) Corresponding with a Russian woman is just a scam to make you send her money.

Russian women are interested in your financial situation, as well as you are interested in her beauty and good character. It's just normal. The other thing is that her understanding of a good financial situation is different. The average western family has living standards, which are accessible only for the top income group in Russia.

Russian Girls are definitely interested in you if you have a stable secure job to provide for the family, own a house or have another property. She of course will decide in your favor not only because of your money, but your financial security is of great importance for her on the introduction stage.

At the same time any of your attempts to impress her with your wealth will receive a negative response. We all usually have at least two reasons for doing something: the real one and the one that sounds good. Russian women genuinely believe that the reasons why they are looking for a husband abroad are the lack of men in Russia and their terrible habits.

Russian women will tell you that the wealth of your soul is much more important than the wealth of your bank account.

Yes, it's true, but keep in mind that it's not all the truth.

Russian women are worried about moving to a strange country, and of course they don't want to plunge themselves in a worse situation than they are currently in. They do want to find a better life. It's an absolutely normal aspiration for a human being.

Nevertheless, if you obviously try to show a woman how rich you are, she will feel outraged and probably will reject you as too materialistic.

You could also have heard a lot about scams in connection with Russian brides.

Yes, such a thing exists. Russians are very good in fraud ventures. They can invent things you would never ever think of. No wonder that the matrimonial industry attracted the attention of scam artists too.

Usually it works like this: you correspond with a woman for a while. She is wonderful and perfect in everything. You feel as though you are falling in love with her and decide to meet her in person. For some important objective reasons you are supposed to meet somewhere away from her native place. The most common scenario is when a "woman" wants to visit you in your country (or in another country, or the capital of her country - but not in the city where she lives) and asks you to sponsor her travel arrangements. The next scenario is simple as 2+2: you send her money for travel expenses, and it's the last time you hear from her.

Things like this do happen to foreign men from time to time. What can save you from scam artists is a simple caution: do not send any money to anybody you have not personally met. Pay for her plane ticket directly to an air company, and only you will be able to receive a refund. If a woman tries to insist that it will be cheaper for you if she buys a ticket in Russia herself, or that the "visa agency" requires to make travel arrangements through them, think carefully if you are ready to kiss the money good bye.

And remember, no agency, friend or relative can influence the decision of the Embassy to issue a visa. Do not send money for visas or tickets to USA, Canada or Australia! It is definitely a scam!

It may be that she honestly tries to save you money, but I would recommend to avoid girls that are too good to be true. If she writes you letters that make you cry and sing, please remember that the majority of Russian ladies have huge problems with expressing their feelings in general, and even more problems with English.

The number of people who try to take advantage of inexperienced love seekers is rather insignificant. All agencies are aware of scams, and ask their clients to inform them if a woman asks for money. The agencies remove immediately the data of those women from databases, and usually scammers work independently using Internet personals where anyone is invited to place a free ad with the system of club membership rather than specialized Russian dating agencies where you need to pay per address.

Nevertheless, if it's your first experience with foreign brides, you are likely to pick up a gold digger. Why? Because real Russian women are not perfect. They delay answering their letters and many still don't use email. They are shy to express their feelings. A beautiful educated woman without children can receive 10-15 letters every day from well educated successful men 5-15 years her senior. If she has chosen you, there may be a reason - does her reason sounds good enough for you?

(Get my ebooks so you can avoid personal heartbeat and financial break!)

*Above was written by Elena Petrova

The Price of a Soviet Union Russian Woman

2007-10-06T11:15:00.000-04:00

More myths and truths about Russian women of the former Soviet Union:

Making contact with Russian ladies will be a small price, so why don't you try?
Marrying a Russian woman is a difficult and costly exercise, and one barely will succeed.

When you start thinking about marrying a woman from the former Soviet Union, you might not realize the price it will cost you. Making contacts with Russian ladies truly costs you almost nothing but to marry a Russian woman you will have to have some spare money.

If all you want is just to entertain yourself and then have a look what can get out of it, it's OK. Just keep in mind that you are also spending the time of a poor Russian girl who has serious intentions to find a life partner. Probably, you'd better join a chat room web site.

The first thing you must decide is where you are going to look for a potential bride. You may apply to one of numerous Internet introduction agencies and buy addresses of Russian women seeking a partner abroad, place a personal ad, or go for a tour organized by an agency where you will have a chance to meet hundreds of marriage-minded Russian women in person on so called "socials".

Buying addresses will cost you about $5 (USD) or more per item. Personal listing - from $20 to $750 (USD), or you can place your ad at free services.

I do not recommend using free services. They do not guarantee anything and became a place for scam artists to contact you.

The price of foreign dating/escort tours varies from $2,800 to $9,900 (USD) including airfare and accommodations.

To marry a Russian woman you will have to have to process all documents through immigration services or another immigration government service in your country. They all are made of the same substance. The main necessary requirement is that you have met each other in person before you apply for a visa for your fiancee.

To obtain another type of visa for a single woman in many countries is virtually impossible, and you can spend even more if you try. Do not believe ANYBODY who tries to convince you otherwise (applicable to USA, Canada and Australia ONLY; Europe and other countries do grant visitor's visas to single Russian girls).

So regardless of which option you have chosen, you will have to visit Russia one day, or one of the former Soviet Union satellite countries. A standard tour will cost you something in between $1,500-$2,000 (USD)+ expenses for meals, gifts and entertainment.

Some men prefer to combine both options. They buy addresses and correspond with a few women for a while. Then they go for a tour to visit the women before or after they attend "socials" to secure results. My pinion it is a wise choice.

Regarding "socials", a personal contact is a personal contact, and this way may considerably speed up the process. It also may bring you a knock-out, and you will have to review your decision or strategy, which is why I believe establishing some contacts prior to the tour is essential.

While corresponding with ladies you must also be ready for some expenses. Probably, you would like to send a gift to your lady, or a book about your city and country. If you use a mail forwarding service (delivering a letter to Russia via regular mail can take 2-4 weeks), it will cost you about $1.00 (USD) per 1 ounce letter. Then the necessary visit to Russia, as discussed earlier, is at least $1,500 (USD). Then there are the visa application process and fees. When your lady is about to join you, you will have to buy her a ticket and probably supply her with some money for her family that she leaves behind.

I think you should not expect to spend less than $3,500-4000 (USD) (if you are very lucky), with some issues estimating the necessary amount in $10,000-20,000 (USD). From this point of view, it's quite stupid to try saving a few dollars on the first stage when can you just buy addresses from agencies or advertise yourself overseas. I know many cases when men returned empty handed and had to start everything from scratch. Quite an expensive failure.

Use all opportunities, buy 20 addresses instead of 2, advertise yourself and choose women who meet your requirements 100% (at least, fit the most important criteria). I believe if you do something - it's worth doing it well. If you understand the importance of making the right choice on the first stage, and act consciously, step by step, you will succeed.

*Above was written by Elena Petrova

Russian Women Prefer Older Husbands

2007-09-21T00:10:00.000-04:00

More myths and truths about Russian women of the former Soviet Union:

Russian women prefer older husbands.
You can easily find a young beautiful Russian woman who will be happy to marry you.
Men, who are looking for Russian wives, are unattractive, old and desperate losers.

Contrary to popular belief, most men who are looking for Russian wives, are in their 30's or 40's, are good looking and have successful careers.

I* had a chance to check it on my own experience. The percentage of men older than 50 years was about 5% of the men who tried to contact me, with about the same number of guys who were under 30 years old (I forgot to specify age limit in my application to agencies - a usual mistake of female applicants). This proportion corresponds a normal client structure of any personals or dating agency.

Although Russian ladies usually get married to considerably older Western men, it does not mean that they do prefer older husbands. They just don't mind the age difference as much as western women do! Normally in Russia a woman will marry a man of the same age or 5 to 10 years older.

The reason why women still go for older foreign men is that if a woman has ventured to look for a foreign match, she wants to make sure she will have a stable life and security. When marrying a man who is older than herself, she feels more secure than if he was of the same age, even though they would have the same financial security.

In Russia it is not uncommon when men divorce after 30 and find younger wives - and this is the last thing that a woman wants to happen to her in a strange country. These Russian women want to make sure that their marriage to a foreign man will be stable.

It is true that one can get married to a Russian lady much younger than oneself, such as 20-30 years younger. It's another story what he can expect of such a marriage. Those marriages are not as stable as the ones where age difference is 5-15 years. If one gets married to a girl 30 years younger than himself, he must understand a potential danger of this union as well as the real reasons pushing a young woman towards this decision.

Even if, in the beginning, a woman has proper intentions to stay with her older husband for the rest of her life, she may change her attitude with time. It's normal for Russian women to sacrifice themselves for families and children, but one will adapt to the Western life style quickly, and she could start feeling miserable. She'll want to go to a disco, party, skiing, diving etc - and her older husband won't be able to go out as much as she wants. Once she goes out on her own, divorce is around the corner.

Certainly, any personal situation is unique. Marriages between older men and young women always took place in real life, with many of them being stable and happy.

If you are confident about yourself and your fiancée' s feelings and intentions, nothing should stop you.

"Still better regret about the things done than about a missed opportunity."

An added note from Dennis to Elena's observations:

My sweet Nadia and I are 20 years apart. I was truelly looking no more than 15 years and more like 10 years apart - the woman being younger of course! If you are like me, when I was very young, older women apealled to me. As life continued, young women and even girls appeal to my libido! But trying to be realistic when I was online searching, all the domestic women younger than me were few and far between. When I tried the international scene, so many young women were interested in me! I was flabergasted to say the least!

I had women 30 years younger than me - INTERESTED in me! It was fun, but at the same time I wanted to be realistic. Because some of the international dating agencies have women in groups of age from 35 to 45 I ended up talking to these younger women. I had to say "NO" to more than you can imagine.

Finally I met my Nadia, who was 20 years younger than me.

Today? We are so in love and appreciate each other that I hope that each and everyone who is looking for true love finds their match.

*Above was written by Elena Petrova

Elena's Models Marriage Agency

2007-09-15T08:29:00.000-04:00

Elena's Models Marriage Agency

In the last few newsletters, which I sent out, you may have noticed that the Russian women's photos were all featured on Elena's Models Marriage Agency.

I want to point out to you a few features on her web site, if you use her site to contact your future wife, which will help you avoid being scammed.

After your male hormones have calmed down a little from looking at some of these gorgeous faces and shapely bodies that so many of these fine females have, it is now time to make sure that she is available before you fall in love with her, which is so easy to do!

On Elena's site I would suggest that you pay attention to some of the positive features that she offers to you, as a potential husband. I am using one of her beautiful youthful female Russian models as an example. (This young woman is availble as I write this to you as of 9/2007!)

In the photo of our featured lady, Nata, you will notice above her is the logo "Confirmed Profile". That means that Elena's Agency has verified the address of this woman and that this is really she and not some scam process using this photo.

Also above her picture will notice if there is any activity on her part. Look for "Active within 7 days (or hours)".

You will also notice in the block, “Communication”, that I have inserted in this newsletter that there is reference as to how active this woman is to respond to all guys emailing her. This lady has communicated to 98% of all men contacting her - which to me is an amazing feat! It shows to me that she is serious!

Then of course you can read what the pretty lady has to say to you from her profile:

"It is amasig that right now we are on the opposite sides of the world yet can talk, well, talk in some point, to be honest, i have never written letters so i might be some clumsy, hope you can forgive me for that, but i would really love to get to know you better, so hope you can tell me some more about your life there, your dreams, goals, what are your lie expectations. it is not easy to say in words who you are, i am very passionate about life, love to discover new things, you will rarely see me sitting as i am always on a move, as it is said we live only once but if we live it right, nce is enough, but still the only and the most important part is missing,still after a long day when you get home, it could be so much better if there would be someone special waiting on you there, this loneliness makes you feel incomplete sometimes, i was hesititaing wether i should try the internet dating, but the i thought if you never try you never know, so i hope that this would help me to find my soul-mate ."

Once again I hope that this newsletter is helpful to you to find the right girl for you!

I suggest that you follow my advice in my ebooks and click on this cute girl in the blue bikini pants and sign up to get the newest girls before all the other guys out there contact her!

Russian Women - Very Fond of Western Men

2007-09-07T23:10:00.000-04:00

More myths and truths about Russian women of the former Soviet Union:

>Russian women are very fond of Western men.
>Russian women dislike Russian men.
>All Russian women are eager to escape Russia for the better life on the West.

All these statements are pure lies.

Myths and Truths: Russian women are very fond of Western men.

Russian women like Russian men. A Russian woman would prefer to get married to a Russian guy. Russian life is quite an adventure, and Russian men are smart and interesting to be with.

If so, then why are Russian women are looking for husbands abroad?

The answer is that they want to have good husbands. Russian men just can't make good husbands. Russian men are nice but Russian traditions of family life are not. When one grows up in a society, one acts according its rules and traditions. It is not because one is bad, it is just a natural result of the social environment.

I know a few Russian families who have moved from Russia to other countries. The wives are quite happy about the situation in their families. I believe I am also a different wife than I would be if I* married a Russian guy and stayed in Russia. One can't live in a society and be free of its rules and customs.

Myths and Truths: Russian women dislike Russian men.

The objective reasons why Russians can't make good husbands are alcohol abuse, and their poor health conditions. All have their roots in the society life. Women of 18 years old have no problems with finding appropriate partners of their age, and most of them do. The Russian woman's relationship problem starts later.

The Russian society and life's conditions push men towards alcohol addiction, which causes in its turn problems with health. There are, of course, men who are healthy and take good care of their families, but they usually get married early and stay married.

There is also such a reason as demographic disproportion between men and women. Women outnumber men, and though this difference is not really huge, 10% according to different studies, it gives a big absolute number of lonely women, who have zero chances to find a life partner. The demographic disproportion also does not take place in the age group 18-25 years old, but starts from the age of 30 and up.

Myths and Truths: All Russian women are eager to escape Russia for the better life on the West.

The statement that all Russian women would be happy to escape Russia for the better life in the West is also grossly exaggerated. As far as I know, dating agencies have a permanent but limited flow of new applicants. Many women sign with a few agencies. According my estimations, it's not more than 100,000 women who are featured by different agencies, including Russian local marriage agencies. Some of the women have already got married, gave up their search or found a partner in Russia.

The majority of single women don't consider finding a husband abroad as an option. Even if they can't find a partner in their homeland, they would never leave Russia. Many women who signed up with agencies, do not perform an intensive search and have this way only as one of several options. It's particularly true towards young women under 25 years old.

Population of Russia is about 150 million people with 77-80 million women. Thus, the share of women trying to find a foreign husband is not more than 0.13% of the total number, and only about 0.5% of the number of single women. As I already said, for a big part of them signing with agencies is just a try, and they do not consider this opportunity as a real option.

(This is Dennis: I concur with what Elena Petrova writes about, "they do not consider this opportunity as a real option." My Nadia was shocked to even find me on the Internet let alone eventually marrying me and moving from her lifestyle, culture, family and friends to come and live in the USA. At best she thought that she might, that is maybe, per chance, be lucky enough to find a "good guy", as they call us guys, somewhere in Europe, let alone half way around the world!)

*Above was written by Elena Petrova

Russian Women Online Seek a Husband

2007-09-02T03:39:00.000-04:00

Russian women online seek a husband and have great expectations.

Usually it is because they have a good education and life experiences.

They are different from the rest of Russian females.

More myths and truths about Russian women of the former Soviet Union:

They are well educated and intelligent.

They live in a completely different world.

They are stupid in the simplest everyday things.

They have difficulty adapting to foreign cultures.

They have difficulty learning foreign languages.

It's correct that people in Russia are better educated than most of the rest of the world. The Soviet educational system was probably the best in the world. One could receive advanced knowledge. Education was free. Additionally she received a scholarship from the government. There were special scholarships for the best students.

After Perestroyka things started to fall apart but Russian education is still good enough and quite affordable. Anybody can still receive the best university education for free, all she needs to do is to prove her knowledge by passing the entrance exams. College education is even more affordable. Most professional schools are free of charge.

First time after arriving in the West a Russian woman can seem stupid because of her ignorance about simple everyday things. She probably doesn't know how to deal with kitchen equipment or an automatic washing machine. She is definitely not aware about payment by check or credit card.

99% of Russians use only cash as payment means. After quite a few occasions when money on bank accounts in Russia lost their value in 4-10 times for a few days, Russians do not trust banks and prefer to keep money in cash.

Please understand, she is not stupid. She just never used those facilities. She will get right with the things as well as the language. Russians do not need English or any other foreign language in their daily life. During the Soviet time learning a foreign language was considered as needless and even harmful. Russians received a chance to watch English speaking TV channels just a few years ago, and it's accessible only through cable TV, which is quite expensive.

I studied English in Russia for a long time, and foreigners usually said that my English was very good. Nevertheless, when I arrived here I could not understand people's speech. It was too fast for me. For the first weeks I watched TV almost the whole day long to practice. So don't worry about your Russian fiancée's poor English - she will learn quickly.

Above was written by Elena Petrova

Russian Women on Internet Marriage Agencies are Prostitutes

2007-08-25T07:04:00.000-04:00

Two myths about women of the former Soviet Union:

1) Russian women appreciate traditional family values, they are serving and sacrificing.

2) Half of the Russian women on internet marriage agencies are prostitutes.

Both phrases above are of the wildest guesses I've heard in my life.

It may happen that some Russian women featured by internet marriage agencies are prostitutes, though I have never heard about such a case. To be a prostitute in Russia now - it's a thing a woman in her sound mind will never consider as an option.

Russian prostitutes are mostly uneducated girls from small regional towns, who don't even have a place to stay in a big city. Their monthly salary is only about $70-100. High class prostitutes from Moscow or St. Petersburg do get better income but I doubt if they apply to introduction agencies to get rid of this type of life.

If a woman knows English well and has a degree, she can easily find a secretarial work that will be paid better than prostitution. There is also high demand for sales people, who receive considerably good salaries. Being a prostitute is a thing that seems to be completely out of sense for a normal woman without a sexual disorder.

Another thing, a woman will never go into prostitution in her native city, or if she moved with her family. The majority of people in Russia stay in the same city for all their lives, generation by generation. Very seldom a woman moves to a strange city on her own.

What about having married ladies data in databases, it's closer to the truth.

Some marriage agencies don't remove women's data from their catalogs after the ladies are already engaged or even married. A Russian woman whom I know personally was in the database of a famous respectable agency. She received about 150 letters from the men through this agency, though the agency states that they sell address of a woman no more than 15 times.

After she was engaged, she sent a letter to the agency asking to remove her data. Letters continued to arrive. After she had got married she sent another request. This time the agency removed her photo from its catalogue on the Internet but the lady's parents were still receiving letters. Apparently the agency kept selling her address on requests from printed catalogues. The letters were still arriving 2 years after the lady got married!

My colleagues in Russia reported a few similar cases.

On the other hand, many ladies do not inform agencies when they get engaged or married. Sometimes women don't remember which agencies they have signed with, or simply don't think it's a big deal. Nevertheless, the percentage of the ladies successfully completing their search for a foreign husband is so small (not more than 5-10%), that it can't significantly influence the quality of agencies databases.

Another thing that does have a distinct impact is that even ladies who are not married or engaged may be not available after a while, and agencies are not able to gather this information. If a lady has a few correspondents, she is likely to disregard further letters, though she does not want agencies to remove her from databases. Why?

She is not confident that things will work out with the existing correspondents, and doesn't want to start everything from scratch. My estimation is that after being in a database for 2-3 months, most ladies usually will have a few correspondents. They are not married, but they are not available either.

Well, let's discuss the next point. Devotion to traditional family values is the most important factor pushing Western men to look for a Russian wife. Generally, the meaning of "traditional family values" comes to accepting a situation when a husband is busy making a living, and a wife is staying at home taking care of children, making food for the family and so on.

The question of Russian women's interest in making careers was already discussed (Archived News Letter). They consider the situation from a different point of view. In Russia women have to do all house work, and at the same time have a full time job to provide for the family.

Taking into consideration the fact that in this situation many don't have the simplest utilities such as microwave, automatic washing machine and pre-packaged food for cooking, it's clear that being a western housewife is just a peace of cake. If a Russian woman cannot work, for her, it is a natural choice to run a house.

What about being serving and sacrificing? It is definitely not true. Again, all people are different, as are Russian women. But generally, in my opinion, they are the more educated, talented and smart ladies who have managed to find a husband abroad. It's a difficult task that requires serious prolonged efforts, and not any woman can do it.

Russian wives are strong and pretty dominating. They know what they want. The only difference between them and their Western sisters is that they do not try to show "who is the boss of the house". They know that the shortest way is not the fastest. I believe, they get better results not showing off their strength but weakness. The man has steering control but the woman keeps the ship on her palm.

Russian Women on Internet Marriage Agencies are Prostitutes

Above was written by Elena Petrova

Russian women are dependent, shy, reserved

2007-08-19T13:12:00.000-04:00

Two myths about women of the former Soviet Union:

1) Russian women are not interested in a career but dream to be housewives.
2) Russian women are dependent, shy, reserved and don't want to work; you will have to feed a Russian wife for the rest of your life.

Please remember that not all of these ladies are the same.

Their interest in career making depends mostly upon the woman's past. If she has a good education and has a challenging job in Russia, she will probably get fed up of staying at home after 3 to 4 months, even if she will enjoy it in the beginning.

For the majority of women in Russia being a housewife is a kind of unaffordable luxury. The economic situation pushes women to work to provide for their families. No wonder, it's considered a sign of well being when a wife can stay at home. The social status of a housewife is high in Russia.

At the same time, in Russia, it's much more difficult for a woman to have a career than for a man. If looking for employment in Russian newspapers you would notice that 90% of the ads appeal only to male candidates. Qualifying the gender as a requirement for a position is not considered to be a discrimination.

Women are paid less, and have fewer career opportunities. Salaries in Russia are pretty small, and even a successful career doesn't guarantee good living standards.

All the factors together may explain why Russian women are not as interested in careers as their Western sisters. Family life gives Russian women much more satisfaction and joy.

They probably would be happy "to make a career" but never had a chance. If one considers the word "career" in its Western meaning, that is, a high employment position in a stable company, high salary providing high living standards, status and respect. If you never had a chance to try caviar, how can you say if you like it or not?

Even if a woman has reached a high position, she will never be considered as an equal due to predominant men's chauvinism. She will have to prove every day that she is not a "chicken". A famous old Russian proverb, "A chicken is not a bird; a woman is not a human being.

Making a career in Russia is what a reasonable person would not bother to do. There is no satisfaction of money nor respect. So Russian women look at a "career" more as a job.

Generally, Russian women are used to working. I believe, they like to work. They may be excited by the idea to become a housewife and dedicate themselves to their family, but will be able to provide for the family if they need.

Arriving in a strange country, a Russian woman is at a disadvantage such as the language barrier. The first few month she definitely won't be working but staying at home.

She must get used to a different life style, customs and rules. She is not aware if her knowledge and skills are worth anything. When she realizes what she can get having a good job, and is able to get this job - well, you may be surprised.

http://www.dating-tips-russian-sexy-ladies.com/russian-women-dependent-shy-reserved.html

Above was written by Elena Petrova.

So Many Beautiful Women in Mini-Skirts on the Streets in Russia

2007-08-15T09:57:00.000-04:00

When you have a chance to visit Russia, you definitely will be surprised seeing so many beautiful women on the streets. Skirts and mini-skirts are still popular among many Russian ladies, showing their best. Foreigners admit that Russians dress very neat and stylish. It looks like they wear designer clothes for any occasion. Russian women appear to be happy simply being women. They are charming, and take a good care of themselves.

If you put in line a hundred undressed 18-year-girls from Russia and the West (please don't ask me where you can get such a view), it will be almost impossible to see any difference! But if you take fifty 35-year-old women from Moscow streets and mix them with 50 ladies from LA, USA, you'll never be mistaken who is who. They dress differently. Russian women rarely get overweight with time. The most noticeable difference is the expression on their faces. Russian women look much warmer and charming. It's difficult to explain. If you are in Russia one day, you will see for yourself.

An old Russian proverb is, "Intelligence of a girl depends on her current hairstyle and dress." I can say the same about a woman's beauty. You will meet very beautiful women all over the world. Russian women just make special efforts to look their best, especially wearing mini-skirts.

The reality is, she will eventually change after your beautiful Russian wife is with you. The first months after leaving Russia, I looked like a model from a magazine picture. Now my usual clothes are jeans and a T-shirt. It's much more convenient, less time consuming, and I look exactly the same as all women around me. In Russia I would never step away from home without proper make-up. Now I don't touch my cosmetics bag for weeks.

Russian women look so beautiful on pages of Internet catalogues that you wonder why are such nice ladies alone and have to look for partners abroad.

The truth is that all women featured by Internet dating agencies were chosen from thousands of applicants. Most photos received by agencies in response to their ads feature ordinary, hardly attractive women, and there are no doubts why they are alone. The average Internet Russian dating agency publishes about 15-20% of the data received. Some agencies select only 1 from 20-40 candidates. The important parameters for publication of a woman's data are:

Age. Agencies seldom publish data of women older 40 years.
Beauty. Agencies do not publish photos of ugly or fat women.
Children. Agencies prefer to publish data of women who don't have children or have only one child.
Language abilities. Agencies prefer women who can speak English.
The reason for all the above mentioned restrictions is obvious. Men do prefer young, good looking women who don't have children and can communicate in English. Because it's men who pay for the addresses, it's only a waste of time and web space to publish photos of old or unattractive women.

If you look through websites where you can receive women's addresses and send letters for free, or the ones with a system of club membership, you'll easily pick up the difference, that is, girls on the sites where you have to pay seem to be much prettier.

Do some agencies publish photos of models or just pretty women who have never been looking for relationships abroad? The answer is, Yes.

It makes me sad because a while ago I answered "NO" to this question. But things change, and not always change for better.

According to the latest information, there are agencies that deliberately publish photos of beautiful women who never applied to their services. The aim of such "agencies" is to receive money from men for addresses and corresponding with "ladies". Usually such "agencies" do not give real women's addresses, all letters are sent to the agency itself or using its email forwarding service. "Scam" agencies usually do not have a website or host it with one of free services providers.

Look for services that provide women's postal addresses and phone numbers in addition to email addresses, and you will be in better off even if they appear to be more expensive. Normally, good things aren't cheap or free.

When you travel to meet your Russian Internet girl friend in person,

2007-08-15T09:44:00.000-04:00

you will make a big impression if you do what I did as I explain in this issue of Russian Women News!

I took a 7,600 mile flight from the USA into the former USSR to meet my bride whom I had found on one of these Russian dating and marriage agency web sites.

At 6:00 AM that eventful morning I stopped on the way to the airport and bought her a bouquet of large sized red roses and a box of chocolates at a Publix grocery store which was open for business.

I believe I got the idea (plus so much more) from reading this ebook by Marina Smiley, who herself is a Russian woman who writes from her experiences and understanding of the mind-set of the women of the Former Soviet Union. In fact, during the days that I was first with Nadia in Tashkent, Uzbekistan, she was always amased that I knew so much about her background, her cukture and historical and modern traditions. (Thank you Marina!)

What you must know before you decide to marry a Russian woman?

As suggested, I wrapped the stems in a small water soaked towel inside several plastic bags which I carried on board with me.

As I transferred flights and waited in terminals, I carried this bouquet of red roses everywhere. It opened up many conversations of interest along the way. People knew that I was going to meet my lady! One couple was an encouagement to me whom I met on a shuttle in New York City at the La Guardia air terminal. They were married 20 years and still very happy and in love. He was 21 year her senior. She was a 42 year old very pretty blond woman who was originally from Poland. Now they lived in Athens, Greece. I was encouraged because the age spread was similar to mine and Nadia's. It relaxed me a great deal since I previouisly had apprehensions about this. Of course that is all behind us and I am settled about the issue.

To say the least, my then future bride, was very astonished and pleased when I handed her these roses at the airport where we first met in person! I made a wise decision because Nadia also in turn gave me a modest bouque of some small flowers. I would have been embarrassed if I arrived with no flowers for her! Flowers are an importtant expression of affection.

My gift was a topic of conversation for her to tell all her girl friends and family! Three weeks later when I met her young adult daughter, the roses were still alive and she too was so amazed that I could bring them from so far away. She was pleased for her mother.

Such little effort went such a long way!

My “habit” continues today as I still bring her replenishing fresh flowers in our romantic life together (from the same Publix store which is right down the street from us!).

The main thing is that she is so easy to please and appreciates what I do for her which in turn keeps the fire lit in me, in her and in our relationship!

Russian Girlfriend and K-1 Visa

2007-08-15T08:59:00.000-04:00

How to date a Russian lady if you live few thousand miles away from her?

You will hardly find anyone today who has not hear about Russian marriage agencies and international dating services. There are approximately 1,500 of them on the internet.

Let us suppose that after a long search that you have found the lady of your dreams. You went to meet her a few times and everything tells you that you and your Eastern European lady both are made for each other. Your inner feelings tell you that you need to get married at once, but your brain tells that you need to get to know this woman a little bit longer. So what is the solution?

For USA citizens, the K-1 visa was created exactly to solve this dilemma. It allows your foreign bride to live in you country for up to 3 months. Which during this time you both must make a decision about whether to get married or to split up. She will have to go back home.

Note that your Russian bride cannot marry anyone else except you who applied for her visa. It eliminates an opportunity of a fake marriage from her side.

Here is one story.

Russian bride, Ludmila, met Joseph via the Internet. After their correspondence of 3 months, he went to see her in the Ukraine 3 different times. A period of 2 months followed at which time they fell in love and could not wait to be together again. Ludmila's parents were a little bit cautious about sudden changes in her life with her decision to leave her homeland to be with Joseph. The fact that K-1 visa gives absolute protection from the side of USA government calmed down her close relatives. It eventually took 7 month for his beloved bride to come to Joseph's place. They got married and it is now 3 years as they live together happily.

Thanks to a K-1 visa Ludmila and Joseph had a chance to know each other better, to live together some time before marriage that united them for the entire life. Of course, they sent gratitude testimonial to their marriage agency which helped them to meet each other.

More information on K-1 visa here: K-1 visa

About the Author by Olga Bulyga

CharmingBrides.com http://www.charmingbrides.com international marriage agency in Ukraine for foreign guys and Russian women from Kharkov and Poltava (Ukraine). It helps with correspondence and translations, gift delivery, interpreting and tours, apartments, English lessons, K-1 visa assistance.

2 Brothers & a Bride

2007-07-15T17:35:00.000-04:00

2 Brothers & a Bride

Recently, I bought the movie, 2 Brothers & a Bride, on DVD. It is also available in VHS format. Nadia, my beautiful young Russian bride, and I enjoyed it very much as we munched on popcorn with our favorite beverages snuggled up together on our double lounge recliners in the comfort of our home.

I recommend that you get it and watch it. It is very good and insightful as to how a Russian Romance Tour would be. As I was watching, it made me wish that I would have gone on one myself, before I met Nadia of course! It appears that you could have a wonderful and exciting time visiting so many great looking and available single Russian women - all in one place! The difference between a singles speed dating, as an example, is that these Russian gals are all seriously looking for a husband, not just a one time fling.

Whether you travel to one of the former Soviet countries to meet just one girl or several of them or take a tour to meet hundreds of them, the way that I teach you on my web site and in my ebooks, is to contact enough women to get dozens of them interested enough in you as a possible husband for them.

This is not an easy task to do correctly, but if you do, it will be the most rewarding experience of your lifetime!

When I started out looking on the internet . . .

. . . I was encouraged by two men whom I became acquainted with right here where I live. They both had gone onto the Internet back in 1997 and struggled through to finally get their wives. They worked together which was helpful to them both. Marty was 41 and got himself a sweet young Latvian wife who was only 21 years old! Now they are raising a family. Myles was 53 when he went to Odessa, Ukraine to meet and bring home his beautiful blond Olena who was only 32 years old. They encouraged me to get going but I was pretty much on my own through the whole process.

It took me two years and much pain and energy expended to finally find and get the right lady to want to marry me. Of course, being a senior citizen, there are not that many women on the Internet actively setting up their profiles looking for an older guy. So I had to pass up a lot of gorgeous women who were simply too young for me.

In fact I was not looking for a woman who was 20 years younger than me. Even though I was communicating with many who were 25 to 30 years younger than me and wanted me to go there and marry them, I knew that that was an unreasonable age difference. It was very tempting though! I was having a great time writing to them, exchanging photos and even a few telephone calls. Heck how many 35 year old great looking and intelligent American woman could I get interested in me - who was in his mid 50's? None! I Tried, so I know! After I saw these two local guys get their great looking and young wives, who both had college degrees, I thought that this is what I wanted also.

Some foreign dating sites have age ranges of the women from 35 to 45. I was looking for women between 40 and 50 years old, of which at the time there were not that many on the dating sites. Today there are more women in this age range as Internet profiling becomes more popular all over the world. Anyway, Nadia just happened to be under 40 but I liked what I saw and so did she and now we have been happily married for several years now.

You do not have to take two years to find the right wife for yourself. With my techniques you could find many available women within a six month period and have the one whom you choose to be in your home a year from now! What a great goal to set for yourself! You do not have to feel like you are doing this all by yourself either.

I give you enough information on my sites and my ebooks for you to do just that. By the way, I would advise you to stay away from any number of the dating forums out there. There is just too much nonsense and enough of it will discourage you and waste your time. Use your time wisely and educate yourself and focus on getting the great gal that you want! Do not listen to losers! The forums are full of them!

I teach you how to get going, not how to finish. Once you get going you will have enough drive inside of yourself to finish the process to get her into your home and into your bridal bed! What good is it if you know all the information on visas and airline travel and hotel reservations if you never get to the point to go and get someone? First things first!

Also you do NOT want to go to her country and find out that she is NOT the one for you! So get educated with my information and others who have been there ahead of you who speak from a successful experience!

Be the first guy in her BOX!

This is the best way to be the FIRST GUY to get the woman that you want. When a woman's profile is new and fresh, and you want to get her interested in you, you need to be in the front of the line. These women will get hundreds of emails the first day their profile comes out! They simply cannot answer all of them. They will start at the top and finally simply delete or save the rest for later. Of course they get more and more each day.

As I point out in my ebooks, you simply have to be the first one in her email in-box. If you are fumbling around you will lose. If you are prepared, she will answer you because you were at her door first! The way to do this is to have all your first letters ready for delivery. Sign up for the automatic email list of NEW girls and fire off those letters IMMEDIATELY. Do not even wait 24 hours because if you do, you now have set yourself up for failure! I teach you how to win and win you will - IF you take my advice and use it the way that I tell you to.

So - I recommend that you get on this email list here: http://best-russian-girls.com/order-form/automatchmaillist.shtml

Also you can get a Free Video or DVD from my same web site - Click HERE.

2 Brothers & a Bride

Before I forget you can get the movie, 2 Brothers & a Bride, here: http://best-russian-girls.com/information/dvd.shtml

Until next time . . .

The Best Way to Keep Sex Exciting

2007-05-26T07:40:00.000-04:00

To keep the woman in your life happier -- and a happier her is a much happier you -- make arrangements for a weekend getaway now.

If, like most men, you're feeling too overworked and overextended to take a few days off, you're probably feeling something else, as well -- a lugubrious lack of sexual excitement. All work and no play can make Jack a dull boy; they can also make Jill a divorcée.

To keep the woman in your life happier -- and a happier her is a much happier you -- make arrangements for a weekend getaway now.

Consider these stats:

Nearly 40 percent of couples report having better sex than normal on the weekends, when they are on vacation, or on special occasions, according to the Berman Sexuality Center's 2005 Intimacy Index.

Women who take two or more vacations a year with their husbands are twice as satisfied with their marriages than women who don't get away--and 50 percent less likely to suffer from depression. Makes sense when you consider a new study from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, which found that workaholic men are three times more likely than the general population to become separated or divorced.

Couples who are sexually adventurous (role-playing, sex toys, acrobatics) are 26 percent more likely to have sex several times a week than are their more conservative peers who, according to the Kinsey Institute, may have sex just twice a month.
By Jessica Lothstein

http://www.dating-tips-russian-sexy-ladies.com/sex-with-Russian-women.html

Russian Women Dating Tips Newsletter - Bringing Her Home: Immigration Basics, Part 1

2007-05-05T11:48:00.001-04:00

Once you have found a woman that you would like to marry, the next logical question is, "How do I bring her to my home?"

Several Options:

Every woman from Russia, Ukraine, or the Former Soviet Union will need a visa to enter your country.

This Russian Women Dating Tips Newsletter will deal specifically with the immigration laws of the USA. If you are from another country you will need to get information from my web site:

Pretty Russian Woman! (URL: http://www.pretty-russian-woman.com)

There are several possible categories of visas that your fiancée (or wife) could apply for:

The first category is a tourist visa. However, the immigration officers frown upon granting a young, pretty woman from Russia such a visa. The reasoning is that she will find someone to marry almost as soon as she steps off the plane and never return home, possibly receiving government assistance and becoming a burden to USA national economy. Not to mention the fact that trying to obtain a tourist visa for a woman you are intending to marry is kind of stretching the truth a bit...perhaps illegal.

The next possibility is that of obtaining a student visa. This would really only be a workable solution in a very specific situation. If your intended is a student, has good English speaking ability, and can meet other eligibility requirements, this MIGHT work. She will probably have to take tests to substantiate her claims. And YOU may be required to provide evidence of support for her during her intended stay in your country. At the very least she will need to show that she has the money to pay for school (or scholarship) and some form of support. It may be a lot longer and round about process than you had bargained for. I would rather discourage you from doing this - unless she has already initiated the process and is well along when you meet and decide to perhaps marry.

You could perhaps try to obtain a worker visa. This will really depend upon her occupation. And whether or not this is an area deemed "high need" by your government. One of the current areas of need is nursing - in the USA. So, if your Russian girl friend is in the nursing field, this MAY be a possibility. I believe that she would need to basically have a job lined up already and that company or organization acts as her sponsor. It goes without saying that for something like this she will need excellent English ability, or whatever language is prevalent in your country. She will also be expected to go to work right away. This may work for some Russain ladies, but probably very few. You can find out more information regarding worker visas (and any of the other types mentioned in this article) by visiting the immigration web site in your country.

Your Best Choice:

The best option for bringing her to your home will be a fiancée visa. This is otherwise known as a K visa. Under this classification, your fiancée will obtain a visa which is good for 1 entry into the USA (check your countries immigration requirements).

Referring to the USA, you will then have a period of 90 days in which to decide if marriage is right for the two of you. At the end of those 90 days, she must either be married or return to her former Soviet Union home. You also are acting as her sponsor during her stay.

If things do not work out as expected and the decision is made for her to return home to Russia (Ukraine, or the FSU), you are responsible for providing her with plane tickets home. You also notify the USCIS (the main USA government agency responsible for immigration issues) of the situation. If you have been honest in all respects, you should not have any difficulty if you decide to try again with another woman in the future.

This discussion is very general since requirements, forms and fees are constantly changing in all countries. All of these documents must be translated into English (or your Country's official language) by a certified translator.

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P.O.B. # 51461
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Bringing Her Home: Immigration Basics, Part 2

2007-05-05T11:45:00.000-04:00

After you do what was written in Part 1, you now have to wait to hear from your government. Eventually you and your fiancée will receive a notice. She will also get a packet of information, including a list of all the documents she needs. If you have them ahead of time, she just needs to send notice that she is ready.

Another packet of information will go out to her (and to you) regarding the time and date of the visa interview and the medical exam she will need. This varies from country to country.

It is helpful if you come with her to the interview, but not necessary. It will save her a very long time standing in a line, and the consular official will see that you are serious about this woman.

At the end of the interview (usually very short and anti-climatic), her passport may be stamped with her new visa, or she may have to leave her passport and receive it by mail in a few days. Please be flexible with travel plans until she has this visa in her possession.

Depending on your situation, there may be another option. This involves marrying your lady overseas in her home country.

However, if you intend to marry her before bringing her home, I strongly urge you to consider ALL of your options since the K3 is a longer process. Mine took 6 months, but yours could be longer from start to finish. The documentation for this type is exactly the same as the K1, you simply file with two different offices. One office handles every K3 petition, and has become bogged down because of so many requests for immigration.

If you are not a US citizen, you should consider filing the K3 type visa. The process is very similar to the K1 visa described above. It could also be used if you have already married this woman in the FSU, as I did.

Marrying her in her country is not something I would recommend to everyone. I did and it was great for me - and very important to her especially. She had her whole family there at the wedding reception and it was good for them to see that this foreigner was an OK kind of a guy. They had their doubts before they met me. Then they all had their chance to "approve" of the marriage and "bless" our marriage in their traditional manner. It was excellent for us all! Great memories!

Your wife, after completing this special type of visa, will be almost a legal permanent resident. She will receive her Green Card in the mail within 2-4 weeks after arriving into the USA. On top of this, you will be legally married. So, you really must be sure of this.

Believe me it is a lot harder to get un-married (i.e... divorced) than it is to get married, especially if she has a child(ren). There are also many differences in the specifics of this process. Certain embassies or consulates will allow you to file all of the needed documents directly with them (but only in person). Some do not. Others have certain residency requirements, i.e., you must be living in her country for a certain period of time.

Also, how do you know that this woman will enjoy living with you in your home or apartment in your country? Will it be very different from her situation in her former country?

Some women are able to make this transition very easily, and for others it can be more difficult. Pay close attention to this especially if your woman lives in a big city. Most women whom you will meet on the internet will come from a city in the Former Soviet Union. If you live in a more rural area, try to choose a woman from a small town or rural area instead of a big city.

As mentioned before, this is simply a very brief overview of what is involved in bringing your Russian, Ukrainian or FSU fiancée, girlfriend, or wife home to the USA or to your country.

A brief summary of the process to obtain a USA K visa:

You will need to fill out forms I-129f and G-325. The G-325 is a biographical form, but it must be completed 4 times for each of you! (Each copy goes to a different destination)

You will also need a passport style photo of each of you, proof of your US citizenship (only US citizens may file for a K1 visa--a copy of your passport or birth certificate will suffice), evidence of a personal meeting within the past 2 years and that an on-going relationship exists, along with the fee.

You will then send these to the service center closest to your location and wait. You will receive notice that your petition has been received. In the meantime, have your fiancée gather up all the documents that she will need: birth certificate, passport for foreign travel, police certificate, divorce decree(s) (if needed), photos (3-4 more, passport style), and a consent document if she has any minor children who will be coming to the US with her.

Russian Women Dating Tips Newsletter - Writing To Her - Part 1

2007-05-05T11:20:00.000-04:00

One of the most important things in any relationship is communication. This is even more true in a mixed cultural relationship where two different languages are spoken. Until you actually start travelling to meet any of your Russian girl friends, correspondence will play an incredibly important role in your success with Russian women online.

This does not mean that you have to be a professional writer. You do, however, have to write from your heart. By this I mean that you must be sincere and able to write what you feel. Your sincerity will come through in any language.

It is much easier to communicate by letter via email than postal mail. Obviously, email is much faster! It can take up to 2 weeks for a letter to reach Russia, and many pieces of mail from foreign countries get lost.

My first suggestion is that you spend some time and sit down to write a good introduction letter or use mine. This letter should be used over and over again, but the effort is only expended once.

You should make this letter to be very basic and not detailed. My introduction letter was short. It was about 3 paragraphs.

Especially in your first letter, I do not recommend that you write in detail about why you want to search for a wife in the FSU, what your goals and dreams are, what your life is like, the type of woman you want to meet, etc. You can write all that information later as you get women interested in you.

Always speak from your heart and be sincere. This type of letter will get responses from the more serious kind of woman. In other words, she will be more qualified. In the beginning of finding a Russian woman, it is all about the "numbers"! The saying goes, "If you throw enough spaghetti onto the wall, some of it will stick!"

This approach will get a higher response than a detailed letter does. If you want the highest possible number of responses then you should probably just go with a basic letter. This should be just something along the lines of 'Hello....I saw your profile...my name is...etc...'

Just briefly describe yourself, why you decided to write her, and tell a little about whatever is on your mind. This will get more replies because it is non-threatening and the women do not feel like they really have to make a choice about you right away. It is kind of like here we are, let's see what happens.

Always remember this: a Russian woman does not consider you to be anything more than a possibility until you meet in person! The choice is yours as to how to proceed.

Beyond this, you should be prolific. Write to at least 100 ladies over a period of several weeks on even months, unless you wish to prolong the time it will take you to find a wife. Of those 100, you will only get around 10-15 replies. IF you follow my advice that I wrote in my ebook, "Your FIRST Letter to Russian Women", you could get 50 or more replies!

In the beginning when I first started writing to Russian women, my response was low - and very discouraging! My first, second and 3rd letters were too long.

After 2 years - I finally got it correct.

Then I had more young and beautiful Russian women who wanted to marry me than I could handle! I cover all this in my second ebook, "How To Get Russian Women to Want to Marry You!"©

Of course, your responses may vary! It will depend on so many variables such as your age and appearance, and her age and appearance.

If you are writing to teen super-models, or women 20-30 years younger than you, you may be lucky to get a lower response rate!

My caution to you is to be reasonable. Do not waste her time or yours if the age gap is more than 15 years. Many of these Russian women will be interested in you if you are 30 years older than her. Even if you do marry her, chances are that after you age even more the age gap even gets greater. It is so tempting to be writing to such young attractive women. Your ego swells up and your sexuality gets mixed up with common sense. Use your brains and not your male sex organ make the decisions. After you are married to a woman who is 10 to 15 years younger than you, you will have the rest of your life for her to flatter your ego and to satisfy you sexually. Ask me how I know this! :>)

To learn more about the type of women you should be focused on writing to, get my ebooks mentioned above. I cover enough information that you will not need to do anything else except what I reveal to you in order for you to get enough beautiful, young Russian women to want to marry you. You could very possibly get your very pretty Russian wife - probably within 6 months - if you follow my advice. You will get all 3 ebooks for under $20.00 (USD).

For example, . . . (continued in next newsletter)

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Russian Women Dating Tips Newsletter - Writing To Her - Part 2

2007-05-05T11:18:00.000-04:00

Continuing from last Newsletter . . .

For example, let's say that you get 30 Russian women who respond to your introduction letter. Of these 30, probably another 50% will drop off correspondence after 3 to 4 letters. Maybe you feel that there is no connection between you and them. Or maybe she decides she would rather write to someone else. Who knows?

I can tell you this - many times you will be writing to a woman and think things are going great - then you never hear from her again! Just expect that there will be to be some women who just disappear. If you are already writing, maybe you already experienced this. Be encouraged! There are millions of Russian women out there looking for a husband.

My job is to help you to not only find her, your future Russian bride, but more importantly, to find the correct lady for your good and happy life together.

If the number of Russian ladies whom you are communicating with ever gets too low, you can always send out another batch of introduction letters. Just assume that for every 100 letters that you send out, only around 15 or so will last more than 3-4 letters. Of those 15, you may later see that you were wrong about each other, there are some differences which make the two of you incompatible, etc.

Once I got my letter writing system in place, I could easily stop writing to a particular woman. Before that I would never stop writing to women because it seemed so difficult to find one who was sincerely interested enough in me whom I really thought was a hot woman, even after I found out that she was not so hot and had other things in her life that I was not interested in, like 2 small children, or she smoked, or some other complication in her life that I did not want into my life, etc. (these may not be your choices).

Later, after I got my letter writing system in place, I had more young beautiful Russian woman who wanted to marry me than I could ever have imagined! Then it was easy for me to be very particular whom I could choose.

In fact I started to feel guilty that I had so many young and beautiful Russian women whom I was writing to because they were so sincere to me, but they were one of many whom I was writing to. Of course I had to let them all go because I eventually chose the lovely gal who is now my beautiful Russian wife.

Maybe you can get a Russian wife without my help. Many men do obviously. But will she be the right wife for you "until death do you part"? The last thing that you want to do is choose the wrong woman as your wife - for the rest of your life!

You could turn a beautiful thing into a monster! You do not want to go through all the expense, both emotionally and financially, only to end up in an ugly divorce. Then what? Are you going to try this Russian woman internet dating thing again? Even if you do, will you get it right the next time or make the same mistakes?

Why not take the extra effort and get it right the first time! After all it is your happiness that is at stake - and hers also! Do it right from this day forward and get the right woman the first time! Get my ebooks! My system works. All you have to do is work my system. Your personality is different than mine. You maybe want certain characteristics in a Russian woman that I did not want - but the bottom line is that you get to choose her - the best of the best.

Do not just settle for any woman! You can get the right one who is right for you. Then you will be happy the rest of your life and not have to suffer any further heartache as some will because they got the wrong woman!

You need to stay organized! I suggest setting up a file/folder system on your computer so you can see what you have written to a particular woman from the very beginning. Trust me, if you are talking to more than about a dozen Russian women, you need to stay organized!

When choosing women to whom you want to write to, look for hidden that special woman. The women who are in the top 10-20% in terms of their looks will get around 85% of all the letters sent. These women are all much more beautiful in person than in photos! If you focus on those ladies who are still pretty, but maybe not in the super-model category, you will have a lot less competition.

As I cover in my ebooks, in your first letter, send a nice photo of yourself. Please do not send something that shows your car or house or other possessions. The ladies may think you are over compensating for something, or are materialistic.

Be ready to go to the next step. If you are becoming more interested in her, she will expect you to start speaking over the telephone and maybe sending text messages on your mobile phones if she has a cell phone. In the beginning, a telephone conversation once per week is fine if her English is good enough to communicate without an interpreter. If you need to arrange for an interpreter, then maybe 2-3 times a month is reasonable. Once you hear her sexy voice I promise you will want to talk to her all the time! At one point when I was waiting for her to join me, I was calling her on the telephone everyday!

Again, there is so much more that could be said. I want to emphasize this is just a brief Newsletter. I write about everything that you need to know to get her interested enough in you to want to marry you in my web site and condensed into my 3 ebooks mentioned in this newsletter.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I mentioned in last Newsletter . . .

IF you follow my advice that I wrote in my ebook, "Your FIRST Letter to Russian Women", you could get 50 or more replies!

In the beginning when I first started writing to Russian women, my response was low - and very discouraging! My first, second and 3rd letters were too long.

After 2 years - I finally got it correct.

Then I had more young and beautiful Russian women who wanted to marry me than I could handle! I cover all this in my second ebook, "How To Get Russian Women to Want to Marry You!"©

Of course, your responses may vary! It will depend on so many variables such as your age and appearance, and her age and appearance.

To learn more about the type of women you should be focused on writing to, get my ebooks mentioned above. I cover enough information that you will not need to do anything else except what I reveal to you in order for you to get enough beautiful, young Russian women to want to marry you. You could very possibly get your very pretty Russian wife - probably within 6 months - if you follow my advice. You will get all 3 ebooks for under $20.00 (USD).

Web Site:
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Much Success!

Dennis Harnisch & Nadia Ivanovna
P.O.B. # 51461
Jacksonville Beach, FL 32240-1461
Telephone: USA: 1 904 866 4906

The back issues are at the following URL...
http://www.dating-tips-russian-sexy-ladies.com/Russian_Women_Dating_Tips_Newsletter-backissues.html

Britney's Return:

2007-05-05T06:44:00.000-04:00

Too Little, But Is It Too Late?

How low are the world's expectations for Britney Spears? What's being hailed as her triumphant comeback amounts to about 40 minutes of karaoke with some hip-thrusting, hair-flinging and jazz hands thrown in.

Britney's return to the stage after a busy three years filled with K. Fed, baby-birthing, lady-part-flashing, chrome-doming, a seemingly unnecessary (or so she says) stint in rehab and a sudden weight loss culminated Thursday night with a 14-minute, oh, let's say performance at the Los Angeles House of Blues under the moniker The M+Ms.

In front of a sold-out crowd that included her frenemy Lindsay Lohan, Brit, in what we're guessing was by now a fairly ripe déclassé ensemble of a denim miniskirt, pink bra, strategically ripped fishnets, pleather boots and fuzzy white coat, once again lip-synched her way through several of her hits, including "... Baby One More Time," "I'm a Slave 4 U," "Do Somethin'" and "Toxic," all while accompanied by a quartet of similarly kitted-out Pussycat Doll-like dancers.

And just like her two shows in Anaheim and San Diego earlier in the week, the big moment came as a guy from the audience was pulled onstage and plopped in a chair, a prop for Britney and her dancers to writhe and wiggle around.

Unlike Anaheim, however, Spears didn't distractingly chew gum during her all-too-brief onstage appearance. Granted, her mastication did prove to naysayers that she could, in fact, chew and shake her rusty moneymaker at the same time, but it still showed a lack of seriousness that has characterized so much of what she's done in recent years.

(In Spears' defense, she may have learned the dance routine with the aid of her Hubba Bubba, resulting in an interior monologue that sounded something like, "Hair flip, hip jut, chomp, chomp, chomp, grind, bump, chomp, kick, shuffle, chomp, chomp, chomp, gyrate, chomp.")

Still, the audience, some of whom shelled out several hundred bucks a ticket and waited hours for her arrival onstage, didn't mind that she put in the minimum amount of preparation required to reap maximum attention.

They reacted enthusiastically to her clunky, unenergetic booty-shaking and rehashing of her bygone vixen heyday.

What's truly depressing is Spears could have owned these performances. If she'd stepped out of the public eye for a while and thought seriously about her future (and maybe listened to the advice of people who have actual experience in these things), the outcome might have been far different.

She could have returned without the cheapie wigs and embraced her sprouting tresses as she debuted an updated look that didn't involve an homage to Julia Roberts' costume from "Pretty Woman," along with a stage show with actual production values and more mature material actually warbled in real-time.

But that would have been hard, ya'll!

And as we know by now, if something requires a bit of work (marriage, child-rearing, career growth, hair care, fashion), Britney really isn't all that interested. It's far easier to go back to what worked so well for her in the past, before the babies, the be-balding and the dizzying downward spiral.

Perhaps the mediocrity of this mini-tour is what happens when every time you leave your house, an army of paparazzi follows. Fast-food run? It's a photo op! Trip to Target? It must be documented for posterity.

She's scored People magazine covers and tabloid headlines for merely living her life -- her dysfunctional if incredibly privileged life. When the mundane is your claim to fame, why bother putting forth any effort at all?

It's both a blessing and a curse that the devotion of Britney's fans is absolute, something the former Mrs. Federline seems to take for granted, as evidenced by how little she engaged the adoring masses at her three shows, offering them just a quick "Thank you" when the vocal track stopped.

While Britney's half-hearted, unoriginal "Comeback 2007" might be merely a baby step before a big leap that will give the makeover- and triumph-over-adversity-loving public what they want, it could also be a sign that she needs some tough love from her fans and the press.

Maybe it's time to stop telling her that what she's doing to maintain her fame is enough. It isn't. And the sooner she learns that, the better it will be for her -- and us.

Sound Off: Too late for a Britney comeback?

Video: Britney's rare performance | The next Pussycat Doll?

Photos: Britney through the years

Gossip: Britney spends night with a new man?

Add a comment | Read comments (15)

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Judge Sentences Hilton to 45 Days in Jail

2007-05-05T06:31:00.000-04:00

LOS ANGELES - A judge sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in county jail Friday for violating her probation, putting the brakes on the hotel heiress' famous high life.

Hilton, who parlayed her name and relentless partying into worldwide notoriety, must go to jail on June 5 and she will not be allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled after a hearing.

The judge ruled that she was in violation of the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

"I'm very sorry and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything. I'm sorry and I did not do it on purpose at all," she told the judge before he announced the sentence.

She was then ordered to report to a women's jail in suburban Lynwood on the set date or face 90 days behind bars. The judge's ruling excluded her from paying to serve time in a jail of her choice, as some are allowed.

As a city prosecutor said during closing arguments that Hilton deserved jail time, Hilton's mother, Kathy, laughed. When the judge ruled, Kathy Hilton, then blurted out: "May I have your autograph?"

Paris Hilton was among a series of witnesses who took the stand during the hearing. She testified she believed her license was initially suspended for 30 days and that she was allowed to drive for work purposes during the next 90 days.

She said that when an officer who stopped her in January made her sign a document stating her license was suspended, she thought he was mistaken and did not actually look at the document.

Also called to the stand was Hilton's spokesman, Elliot Mintz. Hilton and her attorneys characterized Mintz as a liaison between Hilton and her lawyers.

Mintz testified that to his knowledge Hilton did not drive during the 30-day period. He said he then advised her that he believed her license was no longer suspended.

The judge called Mintz's testimony worthless and expressed disbelief at Hilton's lawyers.

"I can't believe that either attorney did not tell her that the suspension had been upheld," the judge said.

"She wanted to disregard everything that was said and continue to drive no matter what."

Hilton looked forward and didn't speak to news media as she left court. Her mother looked upset.

When a reporter asked what she thought of the judge's decision, a visibly angry Kathy Hilton responded: "What do you think? This is pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayer money with all this nonsense. This is a joke."

Defense attorney Howard Weitzman said he would appeal.

"I'm shocked, I'm surprised and really disheartened in the system that I've worked in for close to 40 years," Weitzman said.

He said the sentence was "uncalled for, inappropriate and bordered on the ludicrous."

"I think she's singled out because of who she is," Weitzman said.

Hilton had arrived at the Metropolitan Courthouse 10 minutes late and ignored screams of photographers as she swept in with her attorneys, mother and father, Rick Hilton. Wearing a gray jacket and white shirt over black slacks and with a black headband on, she said nothing and appeared serious.

The celebrity case brought an unusual scene to the austere courthouse south of downtown in a commercial area. As if at a red carpet event, dozens of photographers and reporters lined up at the rear entrance. Yellow police tape substituted for velvet ropes.

Hilton, 26, pleaded no contest in January to reckless driving stemming from a Sept. 7 arrest in Hollywood. Police said she appeared intoxicated and failed a field sobriety test. She had a blood-alcohol level of .08 percent, the level at which an adult driver is in violation of the law.

She was sentenced to 36 months probation, alcohol education and $1,500 in fines.

Two other traffic stops and failure to enroll in a mandated alcohol education program, are what landed the socialite back in court.

On Jan. 15, Hilton was pulled over by California Highway Patrol. Officers informed her that she was driving on a suspended license and she signed a document acknowledging that she was not to drive, according to papers filed in Superior Court.

Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies stopped Hilton on Feb. 27 and charged her with violating her probation. Police said she was pulled over at about 11 p.m. after authorities saw the car speeding with its headlights off.

Mintz said at the time Hilton wasn't aware her license was suspended. A copy of the document Hilton signed on Jan. 15 was found in the car's glove compartment, court papers say.

Hilton was also required to enroll in an alcohol education program by Feb. 12. As of April 17, she had not enrolled, prosecutors said.

Hilton, heiress to the Hilton Hotel fortune, first gained notoriety for her hard partying as a teen. She attracted worldwide attention when a sex tape she made with a boyfriend was released on the Internet.

She stars in the reality-TV series, "The Simple Life," now in its fifth season, with Nicole Richie. She appeared in the 2005 film, "House of Wax" and recently finished filming "The Hottie and the Nottie." She also is a handbag designer and has a namesake perfume.

Sound off: Does Paris deserve to go to jail?

Related: What Paris can expect behind bars

Paris Hilton photo gallery

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Do Russian women shave their legs?

2007-04-26T08:01:00.000-04:00

What’s the deal with homosexuality in Russia? These are among the questions tackled in a new glossy magazine whose debut issue appeared last month in U.S., Canadian and British bookstores.

Russia!, an English-language quarterly with an initial print run of 20,000, aims to serve as a reality check to Western conceptions of Russia as a place populated with spies, vodka-guzzling chess players and mail-order brides. Its target reader is the Westerner who may not know much about the country but is interested in it, said Michael Idov, main editor of the next issue.

Idov, together with the magazine’s publisher, Ilya Merenzon, met with a reporter near Union Square in New York, where Russia! Has its editorial offices. Both Idov and Merenzon stressed that the magazine is largely apolitical and has no Kremlin ties — something they are often asked.

“It’s so unaffiliated with the Kremlin, in fact, in the second issue there’s going to be some anti-Putin material, if I have anything to do with it,” said Idov, who was born in Riga and also works for New York Magazine as a contributing editor.

Russia! Is co-owned by Press Release Group, a New York-based company headed by Merenzon, and New Century Bold, a company registered in the British Virgin Islands and headed by Andrew Paulson, the U.S. expatriate businessman best known for founding the Afisha publishing house in Moscow.

In its first issue, the 132-page glossy serves up the edgy sensibility of a Lonely Planet travel guide with a sampling of modern culture, as well as a healthy dose of humor. Heavy on design, it includes a number of photo spreads that illuminate various aspects of day-to-day Russian life, from kitschy Soviet hiking gear to the crammed interior of a Moscow apartment. In “Dacha,” a tongue-in-cheek fashion spread, overdressed Russian girls in gaudy makeup chop wood or languish against a rustic backdrop. (Their wardrobe was all made by Russian designers.)

The magazine boasts Artemy Lebedev — perhaps Russia’s best-known designer — as its art director. Other contributors include Moscow gallery guru Marat Gelman, credited as the arts editor; author Boris Akunin, with an excerpt from his novel “The Winter Queen”; and Olga Sergiyenko, a former sex columnist for Bolshoi Gorod who is touted as Russia’s answer to Candace Bushnell.

The editorial team chose content for the first issue by asking students at Western universities what they wanted to know about Russia. The magazine has also used creative marketing: Its first 100 subscribers got canned air from St. Petersburg and chocolates as freebies, Merenzon said.

Born in Chelyabinsk, Merenzon holds an MBA from New York’s Pace University and is the founder and CEO of Press Release Group, a market research and public relations firm specializing in the Russian-American market. Its projects include RUXX, an index that tracks the performance of Russian stocks on foreign markets, which the company maintains with RIA-Novosti, the Russian state news agency. Merenzon has also edited Metro, a Russian-language entertainment magazine in New York.

Merenzon’s latest venture into publishing follows the launch of several other English-language media outlets designed to inform Westerners about Russia. In 2005, RIA-Novosti created Russia Today, a satellite television channel, and began publishing Russia Profile, a monthly magazine. The latter is published in conjunction with Independent Media Sanoma Magazines, the parent company of The St. Petersburg Times.

Most recently, RIA-Novosti announced in February that it would target the expat market by financing a major remake of the Moscow News, the sister newspaper of the Russian weekly Moskovskiye Novosti. RIA-Novosti plans to double the newspaper’s size from 16 pages to 32 and to increase its print run.

But unlike those publications, Russia! Generally steers clear of politics. The most political article in the first issue is an interview with Nina Khrushcheva, the granddaughter of Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev, in which she discusses freedom of speech in Russia.

Merenzon denied that Russia! Has propagandistic goals, saying that it may eventually run stories about military conscription — “what happens to people in the army and how shitty their life is” — as well as tales of doing business in Russia.

“We’re not going to edit it for political reasons,” Merenzon said. “Relationship with advertisers is important, but we’re a business venture.”

Many of the ads in the first issue of Russia! Are from high-profile Russian brands such as Aeroflot, Baltika beer and Rambler.ru. Most of those advertisers are clients of Press Release Group, Merenzon said.

Merenzon also said that despite their identical names, the magazine has nothing to do with “Russia!”, the mammoth exhibition of Russian art at New York’s Guggenheim Museum whose 2005 opening was attended by President Vladimir Putin.

So far, Russia! Can only be bought in small independent bookstores. One of them is St. Mark’s Bookshop in New York, which has been selling just over a dozen issues per week since mid-February. Margarita Shalina, a bookstore employee who is of Russian origin herself, said most of the buyers were trendy professionals in their 20s and 30s. She called the magazine “cool” and “clever.”

Eventually, Russia! Will hit the shelves of giants like Barnes & Noble and Borders, Merenzon promised. “We feel we are on the right track,” he said. “We now have to fine-tune our project.”

Alexander Osipovich contributed to this report.
Spreading the word - By Masha Rumer

3rd Annual Asian Internet Dating and Social Networking Industry Conference To Be Held May 17-18, 2007 in Shanghai

2007-04-12T18:15:00.000-04:00

Ticonderoga Ventures, Inc. announces the third annual Far East Internet Dating Conference and Social Networking Conference to be held on May 17-18, 2007 in Shanghai at the Four Points Sheraton Shanghai Hotel.

The Shanghai Social Networking & Online Personals Conference will focus on management, technology and marketing to Asia and the Far East for the online personals industry. The focus of this year's event will be on China.

Attending the event will be senior executives from all aspects of the internet dating industry and social networking industry, as well as executives from wireless telecommunication firms, software companies, venture capitalists, marketing firms and entrepreneurs located in China.

Speakers at this event include executives from major Chinese social networking and technology companies such as: Baihe, 51Friend.net, Match.com, ModMySite, Userplane, YeeYoo, 99Bill, InterCanel, Hungry for Words, Loci China, YeePay, Dragon Lady Consulting Social Networking Watch and Online Personals Watch.

Topics include: the social networking market in China, the online personals market in the Far East, wireless carriers and business models for Chinese mobile social networking, accessing the online and mobile internet market in China, community based business development in China/Greater China and marketing for social networking and online dating to Japan.

The Shanghai event will have a final panel session with social networking, internet dating and other executives from the most popular sites in China to discuss and debate on the industry.

The Internet Dating Conference (http://www.InternetDatingConference.com) is also known as iDate2007, which holds the largest industry events for the online dating and social networking industry.

For more information on the event, visit the websites: www.socialnetworkingconference.com / www.InternetDatingConference.com.

http://www.webknowhow.net/news/press/070412Shanghai.html

Russian Women Marriage and Relationship Advice.

2007-04-11T18:28:00.000-04:00

Russian Women Marriage and Relationship Advice. Russian Real Girls vs Mail Order Brides

What are the traditional values? What is that thing that attracts men?

I heard several times times from different gentlemen, that Russian girls are very much like ladies at home some 30 or 40 years ago. Western world has changed so much since then.

It looks like in the modern world there is no place for pure Love and Romance any more.

How many times did you think to yourself that life without a family and children is not something you really enjoy, how many times did you realise that loneliness is something that scares you a lot, how many times were your cold and lonely at night in a big but empty house?

Some tough questions, but let's face it, you have not done a lot to change it.

It's easy to be not happy and wait for something to happen, but it's really not the way you should act.

Posted By : Mishael Mordinson

Swedish women favour online sex

2007-04-11T18:25:00.000-04:00

Every fifth Swedish woman between the ages of 18 and 35 has engaged in online sex, according to a TNS Gallup poll.

Of those surveyed, 21 percent responded "yes" when asked: "Have you ever had cybersex?"

The survey also found that 29 percent of young women have used the internet to establish romantic or sexual relationships, with a further 13 percent willing to give it a try.

Just over 60 percent responded in the affirmative when asked if they had ever sent text or multimedia messages of a sexual nature.

A representative sample of 1,000 young women were questioned about their sex lives in a survey that forms the basis for Lustgården, a television series focusing on sex and relationships.

In order to delve further into the findings, The Local spoke to 'Inga', 31, who has experienced the world of internet dating at first hand.

"I liked the anonymity, or rather that you could choose how much of yourself that you wanted to reveal.

"You could keep your distance for as long as you wanted and choose who gets near, so to speak," she said.

In Sweden, online dating has long since shed many of the taboos associated with traditional dating services. And Inga's internet pastime is shared by "at least a handful" of her friends.

Although she has not "had cybersex", Inga conceded that she has said things online that she would think twice about IRL (in real life).

But what was she hoping to find when surfing onto a dating site for the first time, romance or sex?

"What's the difference?" she joked.

"Well, I think I was mainly hoping to find a boyfriend," she added by way of clarification.

In Inga's view, the online quest for romance is likely to triumph over cybersex in the long run. And talking dirty online will not necessarily lead to a bedroom tryst.

"I think in most cases it doesn't. Like phone sex, it's just a substitute for the real thing.

"But online dating I think will stay," she said.

Is there not a danger though that people's social lives will suffer as a result of spending so much time sitting in front of a computer screen?

"I don't think people will stop going out because they're dating online. I think it's more of a supplement.

"You try all the options available. And anyway, if you date online, you're sooner or later going out on real dates," said Inga.

And the trend is not likely to stop with the under 35s.

"It will maybe become more specialized.

"For example, there are already dating sites for people over the age of 60, as well as specialist sites for farmers, Christians, Jews, etc." said Inga.

As for sexual text messages, is Inga one of the 62 percent of young women who have sent them?

"Yes, I suppose so. Mainly late at night in a somewhat drunken state," she said.

One suspects that she is not alone.

Lustgården is to present its latest findings on TV3 on Wednesday evening at 10pm.

Paul O'Mahony (paul.omahony@thelocal.se/08 656 6513)
Online: http://www.thelocal.se/6965/

Russia's 'It' girls reveal secrets

2007-04-10T18:45:00.000-04:00

Who wants to marry a billionaire?

Russian women keen to snare their very own oligarch and live wealthily ever after have been thrown a lifeline with the publication of a female gold-diggers' manual telling them how to get their man.

The tongue-in-cheek tome, entitled Married to a Millionaire or Marriage of a Higher Sort, has been written by the country's brashest "It" girl and a well-known society novelist specialising in lifting the lid on the lives of Russia's super-rich.

Though the book is written in a light-hearted style, it is designed to appeal to millions of young girls looking for their "Prince Charming" in a country where the gap between the haves and have-nots is staggering and growing wider by the day.

"There are enough oligarchs in Russia to go round!" its back-cover screams. "Your equipment: a smile, a sense of humour, optimism and fervour. Marry a Prince? It's easy."

The manual, which begins by wishing its readers "Happy Hunting!" has been written by the endlessly self-promoting socialite Ksenia Sobchak, a self-styled Russian Paris Hilton figure, and Oksana Robsky, who has already made a name for herself writing semi-autobiographical accounts of her rich friends and wealthy former husbands.

The book comes with a large health warning, reflecting the fact that many marriages to oligarchs apparently end in bitter divorces. In fact, the glamorous duo begin by urging readers to assume at the outset that if they do manage to marry an oligarch (and they admit that the odds are not in your favour) the chances are that the union will end in divorce. Better, they say grimly and perhaps with a nod to Irina Abramovich, to start planning for life after marriage on the wedding day itself.

Accumulating as much expensive jewellery at your husband's expense is one of their tips as is starting up your own business while the marriage is still intact - using your husband's money, of course.

"If you're dreaming of great love, an oligarch is the last person you need," the manual wisely advises. "You need an oligarch if you're dreaming of money, big money." In fact, if you are what they call "a good girl" and want to live happily and comfortably, they suggest marrying a man from the "up middle class", whom they suggest will have fewer psychological flaws than an oligarch, but whose wallet can be just as accommodating.

The two authors, who are pictured on the front cover in risqué evening dresses toting machine guns, go on to compare oligarchs to wild animals likening them, according to their personality, to different species from bears to bucks.

They reveal various ruses with which to persuade your oligarch to buy you expensive presents such as pretending you have lost your luggage for weekends away by bribing airline staff to orchestrate its temporary disappearance.

Any oligarch worth his borscht will immediately offer to buy you a new wardrobe, the writers claim. Ironically, when it comes to living happily ever after, the authors admit that their credentials are mixed, since Robsky has been thrice unhappily married while Sobchak has never been married.
By Andrew Osborn in Moscow

Online Dating

2007-04-09T14:09:00.000-04:00

There are literally hundreds of dating sites online, and picking the right one has become a bit of an overwhelming task for some people. Quite a few people end up jumping around from one website to another, often spending months before finding a service that works for them. By reading this article and doing a little research of your own, you can save yourself much time and money.

The first thing you need to decide is what style you prefer when searching for a date. Ask yourself if you prefer to read through many profiles and make your own decision on who to contact, or if you would rather be "matched" using a scientific matching system. If you prefer to pick your dates yourself, then sites like Match.com and Yahoo Personals are probably the most appropriate, given the millions of members that have profiles on such popular sites. On the other hand, if you would rather use a matching system to help you narrow down your choices, a site like eHarmony would probably work better, since it employs a unique compatibility system and only delivers the matches that are considered to be a good match to your personality. Dating review sites like e-singlesguide.com can help you narrow down your choices by providing reviews and details on how each of these sites work.

Another consideration is whether to choose a general dating site or a niche site. A niche site is one that focuses on a certain segment of the dating population, such as single parents, interracial couples, people who love pets, or any other category of people involved in the dating scene. Although niche sites are a great way to focus only on the specific type of person you are seeking, it is also important to remember that even if you pick a general dating site, if it is a large site with millions of members, your chances of meeting someone with similar interests are pretty high. A niche site is most appropriate for people who consider a particular characteristic to be a "must-have" for their date. (Such as a sexy Russian woman)
Otherwise, a general dating site will usually offer more members to choose from, increasing the odds you will meet someone with whom you will click.

A final consideration when choosing a site is the quality of the members listed. This is somewhat subjective, but there are many sites that leave inactive members on the site for months or even years, making many of the profiles you search outdated. On such sites, the profiles you are viewing may belong to people who have moved on and are no longer looking for a date. Through trial and error, you will learn a lot about which sites have active, up-to-date members and which do not. You can also read reviews and ratings from sites such as our own to narrow down your choices to those sites that have a history of keeping a rich and active member base.

Dating online is not much different from dating in real life - the only real difference being the initial method by which you connect. In many ways, it is faster and more efficient than traditional ways of meeting people. It puts you in control, and gives you the opportunity to contact hundreds of people you may never have the chance to meet otherwise. So have fun, use common sense, and follow our guidelines to maximize your chances of finding a site that will work out for you. Good luck!

By Lester Thompson About The Author
Use what you've learned! Lester Thompson is co-founder and editor of http://e-singlesguide.com , a premier dating research and review site. Read in-depth reviews of popular dating sites, then sign up for free and begin your dating adventure.

Russian Lada

2007-04-07T05:33:00.000-04:00

HAVANA -- Ale sat pressed against the door in the back seat of a Russian Lada, leaving a strip of worn leather between herself and her new husband.

Ale, from a western suburb of Havana, is 28, a tall, dark-skinned woman with a perpetual look of skepticism. Her husband, a European, is 60. He is pale, graying, a tourist in long shorts and a fanny pack.

Ale married him not for love, but for an easier life outside of Cuba. It's a familiar story. Countless other women and some men have married foreigners and left the country since the economy crashed in the 1990s.

We met while I was in Havana working on a different story. Ale and her husband were on their way to an embassy in Miramar to drop off her emigration paperwork; my driver, who knew them, offered them a ride. I took the front seat and they sat, divided, in the rear.

Ale stared out the window at tree-lined boulevards as we drove. She and her husband didn't speak. They have no common language. They use a handheld digital translator to communicate, even when they argue.

I found Ale later in my trip, and she told me about her life.

Once she dreamed of dancing in the National Ballet of Cuba, of traveling the world. She dropped out of school in 11th grade, married and had a son, now 6. She divorced the boy's father because she couldn't bear her mother-in-law's meddling.

Ale met her current husband, the European, a few years ago in the city. She asked me not to use her last name or say what country he comes from, for fear of retribution from the government.

She was walking alone; he was in Havana on vacation. Prowling for a wife, she thought. One of many thoughts she never shares with him.

For some women, marrying a foreigner is ir a la luna, a trip to the moon, an escape. At the time, Ale was earning $3 a day in a family-run restaurant. Better than most, but a struggle.

She says she was not thinking about marriage. She also had no intention of being one of those women who sell themselves as ''girlfriends'' to foreigners -- Germans, Italians, Spaniards, even Americans. Ale knew women who had exchanged sex for money, clothes or food. Police threw many of them in jail.

She and the European man talked that first night.

''Cafe con leche,'' she remembered him saying, rubbing her arm, a shade of ice tea, and his, chalk white. In Cuba, many foreign men prize dark-skinned women as exotic.

The European made a second visit to Cuba just to see Ale. He took her to nice restaurants, places she couldn't afford.

On his third visit they became intimate; he rented a room in a building fronted by panes of broken glass and a view of the sea. At a hotel, Ale could be arrested if they weren't married.

Sex with him, she said, is like cooking rice and chicken: It's something to do because you need to eat, and because rice and chicken is fast.

They married in January at a civil ceremony downtown. Life would be easier this way, she thought. He sends her a few hundred euros a month, a small fortune here. She uses the money to buy toys and clothes for her son. Her husband brings her gifts, an iPod and a cell phone.

She told me she loves him, as a friend. He thinks she will join him abroad in two months.

On the drive to the embassy last month , he didn't realize she was stalling. She wasn't ready to go home with him. She told me she wants to wait until she has been initiated into espiritismo, her religion, which he opposes.

She also worries about her son. If he leaves the country with her, he'll lose a chance to study piano for free in one of Cuba's renowned music schools.

She's confused. She fears she'll miss Cuba, as hard as things are for her. She thinks maybe she'll travel back and forth until she can decide what to do.

This trip to the moon has left her feeling cold.
A Cuban woman's ``trip to the moon''
By pSAUNDRA AMRHEIN
St. Petersburg Times

Two thirds of Russian women use decorative cosmetics

2007-04-05T18:20:00.000-04:00

According to the sociologists’ research two thirds of Russian women use decorative cosmetics at that virtually half of them make themselves up almost every day. According to the experts of Romir Monitoring holding among Russian women there are less of those who use decorative cosmetics from two to five times a week (12%), and also once a week and more rarely (7%).

The polling that involves about 900 women residing in 90 centers of population of Russia showed that cosmetics are used mostly representatives of the youngest age group, from 18 to 24 years basically married to boot (70%). It is mostly ladies over 60 that do without cosmetic products (82%).

The research also revealed that the most popular type of decorative cosmetics in Russia is the lipstick used by 88% of the ladies and 77% of the respondents use the mascara.

Nearly equal amount of women decorate their faces with eye shadows (46%) and eyeliners (41%). The most popular brands as per the showing of the poll are brands distributed via catalogues, Avon (47%) and Oriflame (32%).

At that a Russian cosmetic brand, Chyornyi Zhemchug (Black Pearl) (20%) turned out to be more popular than such foreign brands as Max Factor (18%) , Nivea (17%) , Bourjois (11 %).

Two respondents out of three declared that make up should conform to the situation. 50% of women stated that they would not go to work without their cosmetics on, while the same percentage of them consider it quite common to go out to a neighborhood shop without the make up, as testified by the research by Romir Monitoring.

WHAT do women want?

2007-04-04T21:59:00.000-04:00

In the eye of the beholder

A survey commissioned by Clinique revealed the common and diverse ideals of beauty held by women in different places.

WHAT do women want? Or, what are they even thinking, you ask? It’s easy to assume what’s on their minds. But, as they say, that would be making an ass out of you and me.

Take for instance women in the United States. It would be easy to assume that Americans would name telegenic celebrities like Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Lopez as the standard-bearer of beauty.

Instead, at least half of them think that Oprah Winfrey, often called America’s most influential woman, is the person who best represents the ideal of beauty.

Jennifer Aniston came in second (31%). Jolie only scored third placing, with 28%.

In fact, American women are the most jaded when it comes to seeing Hollywood stars and models in beauty ads.

This was the unexpected outcome of a 12-country survey, which polled 9,800 women between the ages of 16 and 59, from June to October last year.

“From Milan to Malaysia, women follow many of the same trends,” Clinique Global Communications, which commissioned the survey, concluded in a statement. “And yet, there is still something unique and special about how each one of us approaches the concept of beauty.”

The survey was solely to learn about women and beauty. “This was not about Clinique or its products. In fact, as this was a blind poll conducted by an independent research firm, the participants did not know that it was commissioned by us.”

The findings were released in New York on Jan 25.

It found that most Indians (84%) and Russians (80%) rated women from their own country as the most beautiful in the world.

British women do not see themselves as the prettiest, according to the findings.

Still, there is a somewhat universal agreement on beauty. “Women in India, Italy, Russia and the United States are considered among the most beautiful in the world.”

The survey also found that Russian women (77%) care most about whether men like their looks. Maybe the Russians are the most honest in answering this question!

More than half of the women surveyed agreed that it is important that men find their looks appealing.

Are women willing to go under the knife?

The Koreans are the champions here. At least half of them have had, or would consider, cosmetic surgery. On the other hand, only 3% of Indian women are keen.

Good skin is a priceless commodity in the Land of the Rising Sun, where 40% of women feel that money is no object if the skincare product is effective.

Chinese women apparently do not feel pressured to look more beautiful. The Koreans (poor them) say they feel the most pressure. This surely explains the high number of them seeking out plastic surgeons.

The Chinese, Koreans and Indians think that women with thick make-up are cringeworthy.

Women in Mexico (43%) feel that not enough importance is placed on outward appearance. (Are they mad?)

By the way, Indian women washed their faces most frequently. Half of them would clean up at least twice a day and most of them would just use a bath soap to do the job.

Which is the beauty product that women can’t live without?

Again, it depends on whom you’re asking. Fragrance ranks high for those in Mexico, Spain and South Africa. Japanese women won’t leave home without using the sun block while mascara is essential in Germany and Italy. Almost all Koreans and Japanese women use sunscreen products, unlike the South Africans (40%) and Indians (31%) who scorn them.

One near-universal finding was unsurprising. Wrinkles and lines are often the biggest skincare concern of women everywhere.

The exceptions are those from China and South Korea who are more worried about blemishes and acne while the enemy in Japan is the age spot.

Vanity, thy name is woman.

BEAUTY NEWS:By FOO YEE PING

Dating In India

2007-04-03T18:51:00.000-04:00

Dating in India was a taboo a decade back. It is known only in cities like Delhi Mumbai, Bangalore, Chennai, Kolkatta where there is some connection with West. But now sites like bepenfriends.com makes Dating in India available in each and every city.

/24-7PressRelease/ - MADURAI, INDIA, April 03, 2007 - Dating used to be virtually non existant in India about a decade ago with an exception of big cities where people had a little bit of a western touch to thier lives. Times have changed now and with the advent of satellite television and more and more open approach of bollywood films the idea of dating seems to have caught up and has become a way of life among youngsters of Indian cities.Not having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is considered to be sad and having a partner is the most in thing in colleges.

The most prominent reason for dating getting popular as opposed to arranged marriages is that women are becoming more and more independent and have stared working in large numbers now as opposed to ten years ago.

Dont be surprised if you see couples kissing on the streets of delhi as its no more a taboo for the majority, You can see girls getting more and more concious towards the way they look and the clothes they wear.You can spot more and more fit girls in the cities where as they used to be clad in the infamous salwar kameez a few years ago but now they like to flaunt thier curves by wearing tiny t-shirts and mini skirts.

Bepenfriends is really looking forward to the India of ten years later where dating is not a taboo and display of public affection is not a sin and no morale police in city parks and beaches. There are some free online dating sites like http://www.bepenfriends.com which is creating a dating community which opens the society. Join bepenfriends to get your date in India today

Bepenfriends, A online dating service company dedicated to connect you with other singles. Connect us through http://www.bepenfriends.com

Turkmenistan: Marriage Gets Cheaper As Turkmenbashi Drops $50,000 Dollar Foreigners' Fee

2007-04-02T11:58:00.000-04:00

Turkmen women and men used to be the most expensive brides and grooms in the world. That was until President Saparmurat Niyazov scrapped a rule forcing foreigners to pay a so-called "insurance deposit" of $50,000 to marry a citizen of Turkmenistan. This week, he issued a new decree he said was aimed at protecting Turkmens married to foreigners. But neither change is likely to mean much to the foreigners who marry Turkmens the most -- people living in the border regions of Uzbekistan. For them, legal matrimony remains as difficult as ever.

Prague, 10 June 2005 (RFE/RL) -- Kumush Narziyeva is a Turkmen citizen who has lived in the Uzbek town of Talimarjon since the summer of 2002.
That was when she and her Uzbek fiance eloped to Uzbekistan, illegally crossing the border and having a nikah, or Islamic marriage, in Talimarjon.

“I eloped with my husband because I loved him. Our parents didn’t like that, they didn’t speak to us for 2 and 1/2 years. The dowry is a very complicated matter in Turkmenistan. Some men earn money, others don’t. They can’t pay the dowry, and so they kidnap Turkmen [girls]," Narziyeva said.

According to the Turkmen laws at the time, Narziyeva's fiance would have had to pay at least $50,000 to receive official permission to marry her. He would have also had to own a house in Turkmenistan and live in the country for at least a year before being allowed to wed.

President Niyazov, issuing the decree in June 2001, said it would protect women from being tricked into abusive relationships, and that the money would be used to provide for children in case of divorce.

The terms were high even for prospective Western grooms. For the Turkmens and Uzbeks living in the border area of neighboring Uzbekistan, they were impossible. People in the region have traditionally had intercultural marriages. But with an average monthly salary of just $20-30, there was no way they could afford the $50,000 fee.

After the requirement was introduced, many Turkmen women eloped or were “voluntarily kidnapped” by Uzbek men.

Independent observers said the move made Turkmenistan even more isolated.

But it's recently gotten cheaper to marry a Turkmen citizen. The $50,000 requirement was scrapped in March. The obligation to own a house was also dropped.

Another change came this week, when Niyazov -- who likes to be referred to as Turkmenbashi, or "Father of All Turkmen" -- issued a new decree.

This one requires Turkmen citizens and their prospective foreign spouses to sign a contract determining how their property will be divided in case of divorce. As with the previous decree, his aim, Turkmenbashi said, was to protect Turkmens from unscrupulous spouses.

Niyazov's new decree was announced on national television yesterday.

“In order to protect the rights of Turkmen citizens who intend to marry a foreign citizen or person with no citizenship, President Niyazov has signed a decree. Attached to this official document is a sample of an approved marriage contract," the male broadcaster said.

Now, as before, a foreigner wishing to marry a Turkmen citizen must live in Turkmenistan for at least a year before the wedding. There is also a mandatory three-month engagement period following the formal submission of the marriage application.

But observers still see the recent changes as a sign of progress.

Tajigul Begmedova, head of the Turkmen Helsinki Foundation for Human Rights, says the move is progressive compared to the former $50,000 fee. She spoke to RFE/RL from the Bulgarian city of Varna.

“Such a decision should have been made at the very beginning of independence when authorities, as they say, started creating a secular state. If they had done it then, we could have avoided so many tragedies and violations of human rights involving people who married foreigners. The abolition of the fee -- or qalin, as Turkmen say -- wasn't a result of government will. It came under pressure from the international community," Begmedova said.

Does the new move make it easier for foreigners to marry Turkmens?

One Uzbek woman, who asked to be called Nasiba, says her son had been unable to marry his girlfriend of four years because of the $50,000 requirement. But even now, she says, it is still difficult and expensive to marry a woman from Turkmenistan.

“I eloped with my husband because I loved him. Our parents didn’t like that, they didn’t speak to us for 2 and 1/2 years. The dowry is a very complicated matter in Turkmenistan."

“We are going to kidnap her. There is no other way. We will have to cross the border. We’ll put money in soldiers’ pockets and overcome other obstacles," Nasiba said.

Even without the official fee, Turkmen women remain expensive brides. The tradition of qalin, or dowry, is so entrenched in society it remained common practice even during the Soviet era.

And it isn't cheap. For qalin, parents usually ask prospective husbands for 36 sheep, 36 dresses or their equivalent in fabric, at least four boxes of vodka, and $600.

That is why Nasiba's son, and others like him, turn to voluntary kidnapping as a last resort.

But difficulties will remain even for those couples who manage to marry.

Kumush, who eloped three years ago with her Uzbek groom, cannot hold Uzbek citizenship because her marriage was not officially registered. She is also without a residence permit, since she crossed the border illegally, without obtaining an Uzbek visa. Her children do not even have birth certificates.

(Muhammad Tahir of RFE/RL’s Turkmen Service contributed to this report.)

By Gulnoza Saidazimova

Saparmurat Niyazov

Russians Spend $34 Mln on Online Dating

2007-04-02T11:45:00.000-04:00

Online dating services were the biggest earners among Russian web-sites last year, analysts reported Friday. Dating web-sites gained $34 million in profits in 2006. The figure is expected to double this year.

The total turnover of online dating services grew fourfold last year, to $35 million, according to a report iKS-Consulting released on Friday. The Internet content market gained $73 million on the whole. Online games were second-biggest gainers with $30 million, music and video come next with $9 million together.

Experts at iKS-Consulting forecast this trend to remain this year. Some analysts expect the turnover of online dating companies to double after the RBC media holding launches its own dating service, LovePlanet.

The Mamba company, which cooperates with major portals Mail.Ru, Rambler and Km.Ru, is estimated to control over 85 percent of the online dating market. The firm’s chief executive Maxim Trukhin says his company’s database contains 9 million of online profiles, 4 million of which are active. Mamba is also planning to enter the Ukrainian market, Mr. Trukhin said in an interview with Kommersant.

However, those in the market expect dating services to give way to online games as the market’s number one in 2008. Later on, the crackdown on media piracy and a growing number of broadband Internet users is likely to put music and video in the lead. Russia’s Internet content market in 2010 is likely to resemble its American counterpart with music and video accounting for 28 percent of profits, online dating for 25 percent for and games for 22 percent.
www.kommersant.com
All the Article in Russian as of Apr. 02, 2007

Do Russian women shave their legs?

2007-04-01T00:17:00.000-04:00

Do Russian women shave their legs? What's the deal with homosexuality in Russia? These are among the questions tackled in a new glossy magazine whose debut issue appeared last month in U.S., Canadian and British bookstores.

Russia!, an English-language quarterly with an initial print run of 20,000, aims to serve as a reality check to Western conceptions of Russia as a place populated with spies, vodka-guzzling chess players and mail-order brides. Its target reader is the Westerner who may not know much about the country but is interested in it, said Michael Idov, main editor of the next issue.

Idov, together with the magazine's publisher, Ilya Merenzon, met with a reporter near Union Square in New York, where Russia! has its editorial offices. Both Idov and Merenzon stressed that the magazine is largely apolitical and has no Kremlin ties -- something they are often asked.

"It's so unaffiliated with the Kremlin, in fact, in the second issue there's going to be some anti-Putin material, if I have anything to do with it," said Idov, who was born in Riga and also works for New York Magazine as a contributing editor.

Russia! is co-owned by Press Release Group, a New York-based company headed by Merenzon, and New Century Bold, a company registered in the British Virgin Islands and headed by Andrew Paulson, the U.S. expatriate businessman best known for founding the Afisha publishing house in Moscow.

In its first issue, the 132-page glossy serves up the edgy sensibility of a Lonely Planet travel guide with a sampling of modern culture, as well as a healthy dose of humor. Heavy on design, it includes a number of photo spreads that illuminate various aspects of day-to-day Russian life, from kitschy Soviet hiking gear to the crammed interior of a Moscow apartment. In "Dacha," a tongue-in-cheek fashion spread, overdressed Russian girls in gaudy makeup chop wood or languish against a rustic backdrop. (Their wardrobe was all made by Russian designers.)

The magazine boasts Artemy Lebedev -- perhaps Russia's best-known designer -- as its art director. Other contributors include Moscow gallery guru Marat Gelman, credited as the arts editor; author Boris Akunin, with an excerpt from his novel "The Winter Queen"; and Olga Sergiyenko, a former sex columnist for Bolshoi Gorod who is touted as Russia's answer to Candace Bushnell.

The editorial team chose content for the first issue by asking students at Western universities what they wanted to know about Russia. The magazine has also used creative marketing: Its first 100 subscribers got canned air from St. Petersburg and chocolates as freebies, Merenzon said.

Born in Chelyabinsk, Merenzon holds an MBA from New York's Pace University and is the founder and CEO of Press Release Group, a market research and public relations firm specializing in the Russian-American market. Its projects include RUXX, an index that tracks the performance of Russian stocks on foreign markets, which the company maintains with RIA-Novosti, the Russian state news agency. Merenzon has also edited Metro, a Russian-language entertainment magazine in New York.

Merenzon's latest venture into publishing follows the launch of several other English-language media outlets designed to inform Westerners about Russia. In 2005, RIA-Novosti created Russia Today, a satellite television channel, and began publishing Russia Profile, a monthly magazine. The latter is published in conjunction with Independent Media Sanoma Magazines, the parent company of The Moscow Times.

Most recently, RIA-Novosti announced in February that it would target the expat market by financing a major remake of the Moscow News, the sister newspaper of the Russian weekly Moskovskiye Novosti. RIA-Novosti plans to double the newspaper's size from 16 pages to 32 and to increase its print run.

But unlike those publications, Russia! generally steers clear of politics. The most political article in the first issue is an interview with Nina Khrushcheva, the granddaughter of Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev, in which she discusses freedom of speech in Russia.

Merenzon denied that Russia! has propagandistic goals, saying that it may eventually run stories about military conscription -- "what happens to people in the army and how shitty their life is" -- as well as tales of doing business in Russia.

"We're not going to edit it for political reasons," Merenzon said. "Relationship with advertisers is important, but we're a business venture."

Many of the ads in the first issue of Russia! are from high-profile Russian brands such as Aeroflot, Baltika beer and Rambler.ru. Most of those advertisers are clients of Press Release Group, Merenzon said.

Merenzon also said that despite their identical names, the magazine has nothing to do with "Russia!", the mammoth exhibition of Russian art at New York's Guggenheim Museum whose 2005 opening was attended by President Vladimir Putin.

So far, Russia! can only be bought in small independent bookstores. One of them is St. Mark's Bookshop in New York, which has been selling just over a dozen issues per week since mid-February. Margarita Shalina, a bookstore employee who is of Russian origin herself, said most of the buyers were trendy professionals in their 20s and 30s. She called the magazine "cool" and "clever."

Eventually, Russia! will hit the shelves of giants like Barnes & Noble and Borders, Merenzon promised. "We feel we are on the right track," he said. "We now have to fine-tune our project."
By Masha Rumer
Alexander Osipovich contributed to this report.

Partiers No More

2007-04-01T00:14:00.000-04:00

New study finds most college-aged women prefer to stay home rather than go clubbing

Forget the media perception of today's modern woman as a celeb-impersonating all-night clubber.

Most college-aged women, according to a recent global study of women, would prefer to stay home than go out for a night on the town.

The study, commissioned by JWT - the fourth largest advertising agency in the world - surveyed 6,000 women in nine countries and found that more than a quarter of 20- to 29-year-old single women said they'd have children without a partner; they look for passionate, driven female role models and their personalities veer from one extreme to the other, being spontaneous one minute and responsible the next.

"Today's strong-willed single twentysomething is a contemporary Atalanta," says Ann Mack, director of trendspotting at JWT. Atalanta refers to a Greek mythological figure known for breaking conformity and living by her own rules. "She's a huntress - especially when it comes to her personal, professional and sexual pursuits - and an adventurer, experimental and exploratory in nature."

The study also cemented the independency trend that is growing among women.

But one of the most interesting characteristics of today's young women is that despite media representation and stereotypes, she's more home-oriented than she is a clubber. Balancing work, relationships, fitness and entertainment, give these women little time "to sit back and relax," so they're more inclined to describe themselves as home-loving than clubbers.

"I do relate to that," Andrea Matson, a 20-year-old Arizona State University student, said. "After a long hard week, I'd rather hang out with my friends than doll myself up and go to clubs."

Joelle Zlaket, 21, feels the same way. "I have more fun just getting together with my friends and doing something low key," Zlaket said.

For Zlaket, dinner or just coffee with her friends is her idea of fun, not "getting wasted every weekend at the clubs."

"Technology has created the ability to be always-on and constantly-connected," Mack said. "As a result, it's increasingly harder to find downtime, so much so that sometimes young people resort to 'binge chilling.'"

Mack believes that brands should provide products and services that would help "turn the home into a sanctuary and a place to relax with friends."

The study showed that Dutch and Russian women are most likely to enjoy nightlife, while Americans, Mexicans and Chinese are more home loving.

Smith Died of Accidental Overdose

2007-03-31T08:33:00.000-04:00

DANIA BEACH, Fla. -- Anna Nicole Smith accidentally overdosed on at least nine prescription drugs — including a powerful sleep syrup she was known to swig right out of the bottle — after a miserable last few days in which she endured stomach flu, a 105-degree fever, pungent sweating and an infection on her buttocks from repeated injections.

In a detailed autopsy report released Monday, a medical examiner noted the former Playboy playmate refused to go to a hospital three days before her Feb. 8 death. She chose to ride out her illness in a hotel suite littered with pill bottles, soda cans, SlimFast, nicotine gum and an open box of Tamiflu tablets.

Broward County Medical Examiner Dr. Joshua Perper found that in the days leading up to her death, the 39-year-old Smith had been taking large amounts of the seldom-prescribed sedative chloral hydrate, which also contributed to the 1962 overdose death of Smith's idol Marilyn Monroe.

Police found no apparent signs of foul play, and the medical examiner also ruled Smith's death probably was not a suicide because people who take their own lives typically use much more lethal drugs than chloral hydrate.

Rather, he said, Smith might have been simply unaware that the sedative could be fatal in combination with multiple other prescriptions she was taking in normal doses for anxiety, depression and insomnia.

Contributing factors included her weakened condition from a stomach flu and fever brought on by a pus-filled infection on her buttocks from repeated injection of other drugs.

"She may have taken the dosages she was accustomed to but succumbed because she was already weakened," Perper said in his report. "Miss Smith has a long history of prescription drug abuse and self-medicated in the past."

The recommended dose of chloral hydrate is one to two teaspoons prior to bed. Smith often took two tablespoons, and she sometimes drank directly from the bottle, the report said.

A statement issued by lawyers for Howard K. Stern, Smith's companion who was with her before her death, said that Stern and Smith's physician urged her to get emergency treatment but she refused because "she did not want the media frenzy that follows her."

"She refused to go to the hospital because she wanted to avoid media," said attorney Lilly Ann Sanchez in a statement. "Anna called the shots in Anna's life and everyone close to her knows that."

The autopsy report left some unanswered questions such as why it took so long for emergency personnel to be summoned when Smith was discovered unresponsive on Feb. 8 in her room at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.

The report found that a private nurse had asked a bodyguard to call 911 around 1 p.m. and had started CPR. The Seminole EMS was called about 1:40 p.m. by a bodyguard and arrived six minutes later. The ambulance reached the hospital at 2:43 p.m., and Smith was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

Perper said Smith could have been saved had she been hospitalized earlier in the week simply because her drug intake could have been controlled.

"If she would have gone to the hospital she wouldn't have died because she wouldn't have had the opportunity to take the excessive amount of chloral hydrate," he told The Associated Press.

But Perper said the lag in calling 911 on the day of Smith's death probably didn't matter.

"The earlier you come to a hospital the more you have a chance, but there's not a guarantee," he said. "Those are not things with a mathematic precision, but within a reasonably degree of medical certainty, I don't think she had really a realistic chance."

Perper said he believed at least three doctors had prescribed Smith drugs using a number of aliases, but all the medication was meant for her.

Stern lawyer Sanchez said the chloral hydrate was prescribed for Smith by her friend and psychiatrist, Dr. Khristine Eroshevich, who also traveled with her to Florida. Sanchez said the drug was prescribed last year after Smith's 20-year-old son Daniel died in the Bahamas of apparent drug-related causes.

"She was having nightmares. She was having hallucinations. She was unable to sleep," Sanchez said, adding that Eroshevich turned to "an older, tried and true drug" because it was more effective for Smith than newer sleeping medicines.

Perper said Smith also had been on several antidepressant and anti-anxiety drugs and had recently been injecting herself with purported longevity medications, vitamin B-12 and growth hormone.

She felt ill shortly after arriving in Fort Lauderdale from the Bahamas on Feb. 5 on a trip with Stern to buy a new yacht. But that illness was brought under control by antibiotics and an ice bath. She also suffered intense, pungent sweating that soaked the sheets. An assistant medical examiner's report described seeing a table in Smith's hotel room containing cold medicine, sodas cans, SlimFast, nicotine gum and an open box of Tamiflu tablets.

Seminole Tribal Police Chief Charlie Tiger said investigators found nothing unusual on laptop computers belonging to Smith and Stern. Tiger also said nothing came up during an exhaustive review of tapes from hotel security cameras and from interviews with numerous witnesses.

The public airing of the details of Smith's death reflected the way she lived her life.

A high school dropout in Texas, she gained fame as Playboy Playmate of the Year, a model for Guess jeans and later a star in her own reality show. She married 89-year-old oilman J. Howard Marshall II, and after his death took her fight for Marshall's estimated $500 million fortune as far as the Supreme Court. That ongoing battle could make her infant daughter, Dannielynn, very wealthy. Stern and two other men have claimed to be the baby's father.

The medical examiner's report was accompanied by a press release and even a PowerPoint presentation. Among the excruciating details were descriptions of Smith's breast-enhancement scars, her pink hair extensions and numerous tattoos, including one of a Playboy bunny, a Bible intertwined with a heart and shooting flames, and the smiling face of Marilyn Monroe.
The Associated Press

2007-03-25T11:28:00.000-04:00

Russian Women Dating Tips Newsletter

Hello . . .

. . . my fellow admirer of beautiful Russian Women!

Greetings from Dennis Harnisch and Nadia Ivanovna!

In this Russian Women Dating Tips Newsletter I continue with the question . . . Why Russian Women?

Here are some more reasons why to consider a Russian Woman for yourself!

WHY RUSSIAN A WOMAN?

Moscow. March 4, 2007 - Over 50% of Russian women are single and many of them have never been married, researchers say.

According to the latest population census:

195 out of every 1,000 Russian women have never been married,
190 are widows and
130 are divorced.
In fact, "all of them are single",

reported Demography and Human Ecology Center chief Anatoly Vishnevsky on Thursday.

In the 25-30 age group:

239 of every 1,000 Russian women have never been married,
110 are divorced, and
11 are widows,

he said.

Many foreign men ask the question,

"What are the expectations of Russian women when they marry a foreigner and move to their husband's country?"

Well, in view of the living circumstances of most Russian people the expectations of Russian women for their life in a foreign are not going to be unreasonable.

Yes, it's true they do have access to foreign media and movies which usually portray life at the top of the economic spectrum. But, most understand that movies are movies and not real life.

Also keep in mind, most Russian women are willing to work to help support their husbands and families. Almost all of them use the word "normalnaya", which means average and normal, to describe the kind of life they are seeking when they marry foreign men.

Listed below are the three principal reasons why Russian women want to meet foreign men (in descending order of importance):

1. Shortage of Russian men.

According to the year 2000 Russian Census there are twelve million more women than men. Why is this so? Because Russian men die at higher rate due to occupational hazards, street violence, auto accidents, risk taking, etc. They also die younger due to stress, despair, heavy smoking, exposure to toxins and most importantly, alcoholism. Many men also migrate to Siberia and the Far East to work in the factories, mines and oil fields. Therefore, Russian women have little choice but to search for their soulmates in the foreign countries.

2. Russian women are not treated as equal citizens.

They must accept the worst jobs and even in equal jobs must accept lesser salaries. In marriage they must do everything: the shopping, house cleaning, cooking, work a full time job, raise the children -- everything. Most husbands contribute very little and spend most of their time chasing other women or drinking with their friends.

3. Russian women have a very positive view of foreign men as being sophisticated, egalitarian, gentle, considerate and most of all - sober.

Why Marry A Russian Woman?

2007-03-25T11:20:00.000-04:00

Russian Women Dating Tips Newsletter

Hello . . .

. . . my fellow admirer of beautiful Russian Women!

Greetings from Dennis Harnisch and Nadia Ivanovna!

Why Marry A Russian Woman?

Why Marry A Russian Woman?

Have you ever thought of Why Marry A Russian Woman? It may sound abstract and meaningless. Why would you marry a Russian woman far away from your home and culture? Why would you marry at all?

The second question is what you have to decide alone, but the first one has some reasonable answers so it is worth considering.

Actually, wives from Russia are very popular all over the world. There is some kind of mystique that surrounds around these women.

The elemental truth is that Russian women are mostly beautiful thanks for genetic traits. On the other hand, their beauty comes from the fact that they do want to look attractive for men.

But apart from the look, Russian women have traditional family values, family is extremely important for them. They also don't really care much about making a career.

This attitude originates from the Russian society's nature, as it is mostly male dominating. It is expected from a woman to give up or neglect her career when she gets married.

Russian women can only reach a respectable social status if they get married and have children. Success for a woman is unambiguously marriage and children as the primary conditions.

When you date a Russian woman, you can be absolutely confident that she is looking for a partner for marriage, and not just enjoying going out with you.

Feminism is not trendy in Eastern Europe, and Russian women (http://www.usefulandfree.com) are absolutely feminine and like men that are masculine.

It is also a fact that the Russian are highly educated, almost 60% of people in Russia have graduated from a college or university.

They also consider themselves "The most literate nation in the world". So your prospective wife might be intelligent, too.

The most interesting and joyful reality is that they like men from abroad. Maybe they want their children to have a secure future, or they simply want to escape from the scarce flat where they live with their parents. Nobody knows exactly.

It is also known that Russian men behave very differently to women than western men. To tell the truth, because of the old traditions, they are not very good husbands.

The whole family pattern is different. All housework is women's responsibility, and it's quite a lot if taking in consideration the lack of home electronic utilities. About 80% of Russian families do not have even an automatic washing machine.

So they do their best to find an ideal stranger. They even subscribe to Internet dating services and hope that the fairy-tale comes true.

It is the good news for you if you are wondering - Why Marry A Russian Woman? The internet has been flooded with dating services, looking for a wife in Russia is not a dream.

You have the opportunity to meet and date through the Internet and it won't take a lifetime to find the woman of your dreams. Just be careful and do not use unknown agencies in order to avoid scammers.

Why Marry A Russian Woman?

by Fruzsina Csery; About the Author Fruzsina Csery is a freelance copy writer. She occasionally writes for Russian Wives

Russia Profile

2007-03-22T23:39:00.000-04:00

The Queen of Chocolate

A Successful Confectioner Discusses Women in Business

On Wednesday evenings, the queen of Russian elite chocolates, Irina Eldarkhanova, holds court in her Caf? Confael on Nikitsky Boulevard in central Moscow. The life of a businesswoman is so busy, she says – in fact much busier than that of a businessman, since she has “greater family obligations” – that there is a desperate lack of time to meet with people other than for business purposes. So, she designated one evening per week to socializing, networking, girls’ talk and public activism.

“I never invite anyone, but people whom I have not seen for two or three years will come,” said Eldarkhanova, who is about 50, sipping fresh orange juice and interrupting the interview every once in a while to kiss another arriving guest. “I see this as a social project. It is a chance to create a platform for communication. I like it most when different people – not necessarily women – having met here, would eventually support each other personally or professionally.”

Her business success aside, it is Eldarkhanova’s human touch that some of her fellow women leaders singled out as her most special characteristic.

“When you are having a difficult time, she would not be asking ‘how can I help you?’” said Alexandra Muzyrya, co-owner of the Avtoline minibus transportation giant. “She somehow finds out and helps. She helped me very much at one point. She is tough, but I have never seen her angry. What also amazes me about her is her insatiable passion for innovation: What’s done is done, what’s next?”

Another guest at the table, writer Maria Arbatova, who is still remember by the Russian public as the country’s main feminist commentator because of the role she played years ago in a popular talk show, Ya Sama, said Eldarkhanova “combines the charm and sharp eye of everybody’s mother – always picking out the saddened, hungry and tired one in her army.”

“But it doesn’t prevent her from making a tough and quick move to integrate the weak link into a common cause,” said Arbatova in an email interview. “That’s how she is at home, with her friends, and at work.”

Eldarkhanova’s salon is also something of a permanent round table of Russian business women. This is a place where the poster women of Russian business – Olga Dergunova of Microsoft Russia, Anna Belova of Russian Railways and Bella Zlatkis of XXXBank – met in December to discuss the Women In Business panel for the Russian Economic Forum in London last April. The panel was held for the first time at the 2006 forum and turned out to be one of the event’s most popular sessions.

“There is no other place where the leaders of women’s organizations – Lidia Blokhina, the head of International Women’s Union, Tatiana Gvilava of Women and Business, Irina Gorbulina of the Academy of Business and Enterpreneurship – would meet,” Eldarkhanova said proudly. “There is a good deal of competition among women’s organizations, but I enjoy it when we can all get together and try to do something.”

Eldarkhanova may be producing top-of-the-range chocolates and elaborate presents such as one-ton chocolate crocodiles or a model chocolate gas station, and she may host a salon in her caf? adorned with chocolate sculptures and chocolate paintings. She may make headlines in the Russian press and star at international conferences. But there is nothing overly sweet or snobbish in her appearance. A mother of three sons, all of them branching out from the family business, she comes across as completely down to earth – everyone’s mother. She radiates confidence, yet her pronouncements may sound shocking to a Western feminist. In a way, she appears as to be the quintessential success story of a Russian woman – balancing Europe and Asia, Christianity and Islam, Soviet experience and post-Soviet reality, cutting edge modernity and traditional family roles.

“I don’t share the viewpoint that it is harder for a woman to succeed in business,” Eldarkhanova said. “Many men can complain of the same. The most difficult thing for a woman is to combine family life with business.”

Many families of businesswomen fall apart, she said, because the woman comes home late, has to travel, and becomes more demanding, but mainly because the husband does not catch up with her personal growth.

“The biggest problem for businesswomen is that most of them don’t have families,” Eldarkhanova said. “I am convinced that no matter what kind of a tough and smart business lady a woman is, family will always be her top priority – no matter what she would say publicly about it. If I ever have a situation in which I need to choose between my family and my business, I need three seconds to answer. You can build as many businesses as you want during your lifetime, but family is something that’s very hard to find, and it is of utmost value.”

One big family and many businesses is the story of Eldarkhanova’s life.
By Andrei Zolotov, Jr.

Working Women in Russia Face Familiar Challenges

2007-03-22T23:36:00.000-04:00

Underpaid and Underestimated

Years of market reforms have led to certain shifts in Russian mentality, including the issue of traditional gender roles. The process is complicated, and has both negative and positive implications for Russian women.

Compared with opinions held 15 years ago, Russians today in general have a more negative outlook towards the position of women in society. According to a survey by the Public Opinion Foundation (FOM), there is a general consensus that women in Russia have a more difficult life than men, an opinion widely held among women themselves. Only 4 percent of women believe that their life is easier than that of their male counterparts, while 73 percent agree it is worse. Among male respondents, only 10 percent believe women have it easier.

Recent surveys by the All-Russia Public Opinion Research Center (VTsIOM) expand on the reasons for this. Most people agree that life has become harder, that today it is more difficult to bring up children, to deal with household problems and to find a good job. For example, 65 percent of all Russians - and 70 percent of women - say that it is more difficult for women to find work now than it was in the early 1990s.

However, the numbers seem evenly split on whether or not it is more difficult for women to hold positions of power or leadership roles today than during the Soviet era or the early 1990s. This balance is interesting, considering that today, unlike the Soviet era, there are no gender quotas to fulfill and that upward mobility in society is not as prevalent as it was in the early 1990s.

In most industrialized countries, working women often carry the burden of the “second shift” of housework and childcare, but this situation is arguably worse in Russia due to the very low life expectancy for men coupled with high levels of alcoholism.

Despite these gloomy figures, expectations are rising. Surveys indicate that society benefits from having women in the workforce and women say that they want to work. Fifty-five percent of FOM’s female respondents agree that most Russian women would prefer to work even if they did not need the money, while 58 percent maintain that keeping up with household responsibilities does not prevent women from working at their full capacity. In both cases, over 40 percent of male respondents back the opinion of female interviewees. VTsIOM’s survey participants are even more explicit - 22 percent believe that a woman should not quit working after giving birth to a child, compared with 16 percent of interviewees asked the same question in 1990. Thirty-three percent maintain that mothers should stay home with their children until the age of three, when children are eligible to attend preschool.

Although women indicate their willingness to work, social stereotypes continue to divide occupational sectors into male and female regardless of objective human abilities. Although 51 percent of FOM respondents in a February 2005 survey argued that distinction between “male” and “female” professions is determined by social structures, while one third assumes that this is a natural, physical process, the 51 percent are not egalitarians - they easily identify the spheres where females are more “apt” than males and vice versa. Hence, although women are expected to work, they are limited to a number of areas and then restricted to certain positions.

Women are believed to be good at teaching, household maintenance, healthcare and accounting. A similar set of questions asked by the Levada Center in March 2006 brought nearly the same results - intellectual abilities of women are not called into question, but they look more natural and, allegedly, effective in education, household maintenance and art. They are seen as less effective when it comes to business, science and governance.

This coincides with present-day realities. Women make up 56 percent of public servants, but only 9 percent hold leadership positions and a meager 1.3 percent are top officials. Over 80 percent of office clerks and people holding client service jobs are female. In recent years, the highest concentrations of women employees have been found in such spheres as public health, physical culture and social security, education, trade and public food services. According to the 2006 survey of the Russian Managers Association, only about 30 of the 200 slots for Russian top managers are filled by women, and they are also concentrated mostly in the consumer goods and services industries as well as the media.

This runs counter to the perception of females who feel underestimated, as surveys indicate. Thirty-seven percent of FOM’s interviewees believe that men and women have equal opportunities to realize their talents. At the same time, women do not see objective constraints for working in sectors outside of teaching and the service industries because this is what their education enables them to do. At present, one in four working Russian women has a university diploma, compared with one in five men; women are also in the majority among all employees with secondary special and higher education. However, in some respects, education has failed Russian women. It does not perform one of its crucial functions - that of vertical social mobility. Women earn lower salaries and their career growth is slower.

Of VTsIOM’s female participants, 37 percent argue that their revenues are not related to their professional skills and qualification, compared with 31 percent of males. The United Nations Development Program (UNDP) claims that during the Soviet period, female wages did not exceed 70 percent of male wages, and that in recent years the gap has widened. The differences in labor remuneration are especially large in the 20-40 age group, which is when women have to shoulder the main burden of child care and domestic responsibilities. The maximum gender gap is found in jobs that require medium qualification levels. Here female wages are only 63.6 percent of the wages received by men. Fifty-one percent of VTsIOM’s female respondents argue that men are more likely to receive a salary appropriate to the quality and quantity of their labor while 42 percent assume that the rights are equal. Moreover, the experience of Russian economic reforms shows that as soon as a sector or a profession starts to yield high income it attracts a rush of male labor.

In 1998, female employees at large-and medium-size enterprises were paid 70 percent of the wages of men, 63 percent in 2001, and 64 percent in 2003. When small enterprises are taken into account, the gap may even be higher. Small enterprises usually pay lower wages and many risks are shifted off to workers - and, most of their employees tend to be women, who are generally concentrated in the service sectors and tend to work for companies with few employees.

Experts usually indicate that 25 to 30 percent of entrepreneurs are women, but the concept of “entrepreneur” in Russia is not well formulated, and changes in the definition can strongly affect the gender structure. Entrepreneurs include employers using hired labor and possessing considerable financial resources as well as self-employed people who earn as much as they would employed by a business in the same industry. The share of employers among men is twice as high as among women, while the share of self-employed is similar among both genders, meaning men are better represented among the ranks of entrepreneurs with higher incomes.

The Russian longitudinal monitoring survey conducted by the Institute of Social Studies of the Russian Academy of Sciences in 1990-2002 allows for assessment of male and female ownership of companies where they work. The share of male owners of such companies is 20- 30 percent higher than the share of women.

In Moscow, which has the highest concentration of financial resources and stockholders in Russia, there is also a high concentration of male property owners. This is easily explained since at the start of economic reforms and during privatization, women lost opportunities to men who were heading enterprises and had easier access to privatization tools. Now women have fewer opportunities to join “wealthy” social groups other than by marriage.

Russia, like many other developed countries, demonstrates gender disparities in the workplace. The situation is not catastrophic, but there are some alarming tendencies. While women make up the bulk of workers in the economy and the public sector, their contribution is underestimated. Old gender stereotypes put females under additional stress - while expectations to put careers ahead of having a family increase, society fails to provide adequate payment and professional growth. Additionally, women are under increased pressure to have more children. This has not yet led to total frustration, but results in the underemployment of female talents and skills. From a political point of view, such a situation undermines the development of a normal business community and middle class, as many women have limited access to property ownership and feel limited in their ability become entrepreneurs.
By Dmitry Polikanov
Special to Russia Profile
Dmitry Polikanov is the Director of Marketing and Public Opinion Research of The PBN Company.

All The Secrets About Dating People Online In Nj

2007-03-22T23:26:00.000-04:00

Blog Press Release Press Release from:

Online dating is a flourishing business, with an extraordinary growing rate each year, it represents a serious attraction for investors. In 2005 the online dating companies reported 500 million dollars profits and this number raised with approximately 30% in 2006, so it's quite obvious why so many hurry to invest in this profitable opportunity. No wonder that New Jersey, like other thousands of places in the world, is a good location to look for a life companion.

University of Florida Climbs To #2 Ranking for College Online Dating

2007-03-22T23:25:00.001-04:00

New York, NY (PRWeb) March 22, 2007 -- As the University of Florida continues its march through the NCAA basketball tournament in defense of its national title, good spirits must be flowing through the Gainesville campus as evidenced by the school's rise to the #2 spot this week in the IamFreeTonight.com rankings of the Top Colleges for Online Dating. IamFreeTonight.com speculates that the combination of students' excitement over the basketball team's success in the NCAA Tournament combined with the arrival of Spring Break is causing romance to blossom as Florida students are eager to find a spring fling and have turned to online dating to IamFreeTonight.com.

More women visit online dating sites

2007-03-20T18:23:00.000-04:00

Trying to find a mate online? New data suggests that it's harder for women than for men.

To wit: eHarmony's visitors are 69 percent women, on Catholic Match it's 72 percent, and on Love-Access.com a whopping 87 percent are of the distaff sex, according to the data firm Hitwise.

The numbers -- which measure traffic, not membership on the specific sites -- cover the week ending Feb. 10. The gender imbalance seems to be more pronounced on sites that offer a premium service for matching people up, such as by requiring users to answer a long list of questions about themselves, says Bill Tancer, Hitwise's general manager of global research. Sites that attract men tend to simply stack photos and profiles on a page for users to pick through, he explains.

As such, the dating powerhouse Match.com had 55 percent women visitors compared with 45 percent men, while Yahoo! personals showed slightly more men than women -- 51 percent versus 49 percent -- according to Hitwise.

"The more money and time involved in signing up to a dating site, the
more the site would skew female," Tancer says. "And, the more free pictures were available the more the site would skew male."

He adds: "I think what the data shows us ... is that women use online dating as an actual service for what it was intended." Meanwhile "some male users are using dating sites more just to look at pictures of women."

It was probably too much to hope that the Internet would level the dating field. That said, the numbers could offer some comfort to single women who now have hard proof that, yes, it really is a jungle out there.

eHarmony CEO Greg Waldorf says his site's membership is more balanced than the traffic numbers suggest, though there are "slightly more women than men." He didn't offer specific numbers.

In his view, more women is good. "I think that tends to attract men," he says.
"I think in attracting men, we have to do it different ways than attracting women," he adds. "Whereas women are very attracted to the site based on the privacy and safety features, I think a lot men come for reasons such as they get more responses to their communications."

By Stephanie Hoo / Associated Press

Woman Held for Online Dating Scam

2007-03-20T18:14:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, a married Singapore-based woman was sentenced to six months' imprisonment for duping a US-based Indian man of nearly $45,000, after online promises of marriage, reports Reuters.

Thirty-six year old Singaporean, Maliha Ramu, met Indian national, Bharani Indran, in an online chatroom, and began an online relationship with the latter - complete with false name, and photographs of Bollywood actress, Gayatri Joshi, according to the newspaper, Straits Times.

As per court documents, in 2004, after promising online to marry Indran, Ramu asked him to send her a sum of $45,000 towards her mother's funeral expenses and a friend's wedding.

Later, when Ramu asked Indran for more money, he grew suspicious, and filed a police report in Singapore, Straits Times said. Apparently, Ramu's husband had no idea about her online relationship with Indran, up until the police came searching their apartment in order to arrest her in August 2006.

Straits Times even quoted Ramu's husband as saying that no sensible man would send so much money to a woman who claims she loves him and wants to marry him - without seeing her in person first.

This guy had more money than common sense!

Techtree News Staff Email Print

Russian holidays

2007-03-20T18:10:00.000-04:00

Лінгвістика
інші роботи вид роботи: реферат; мова: англійська

There are dates and events in the life of this our country that are memorable to every Russian citizen. The dates of this kind are: Victory Day, May Day, Constitution Day, the Women's Day, Independence Day. These are national holidays, people do not work on these days. The most memorable date is the Victory Day which is kept on the 9-th of May. On this Day we celebrate the anniversary of the victory over fascism in the World War II. May Day is regarded as the day of solidarity of the workers of the world. This day commemorates the tragic events of the years 1884— 1888 in Chicago when workers were fighting for their rights. The Women's Day, celebrated on the 8-th of March, is like Mother's Day in Great Britain. On this day you can see many men buying or carrying flowers.

Online Dating Scam: Tips

2007-03-19T10:57:00.001-04:00

The future of online dating

2007-03-19T10:38:00.000-04:00

Writer Regina Lynn of Wired wrote an interesting article recently discussing online dating and its nuances. There was a palpable tone in the brief read that the concept needs to evolve in the next few years to add a certain level of depth to the world wide web's romantic corner.

The whole photo-and-text model of the current-day social networks seem to be growing old fast as people are thirsting for a better simulation of the falling in love process in cyberspace. "If I'm going to get involved online, I'd rather meet people in a 3-D virtual environment. The avatars they choose and the environments they build tell me more about them than their online dating profiles."

The concept isn't entirely new. Quite a number of sites have accompanying 3D worlds with them already. By coming up with the virtual environment, people see not only how people converse online, but also the value of individuality in terms of style reflected my the look of your avatar. Even Red 5 studios president Mark Kerm predicts that "a social-networking site without a 3-D universe will look like a dinosaur" five years from now.

However, Lynn also pointed out that the most rewarding and enduring relationships were those which were formed in the real world with much of the classic elements. You can read the complete article with all the arguments in the read URL.

Posted Mar 19, 2007 at 03:19AM by Glen D.

Hot but Virtuous Is an Unlikely Match for an Online Dating Service

2007-03-19T10:29:00.000-04:00

The women who appear in Web ads for the dating site True.com almost certainly do not need to look online for a date.

The buxom and often barely dressed models, posing next to slogans like “It’s nice to be naughty,” are plastered across the Internet these days, and are hard to avoid on the social networking site MySpace.

In part because of its provocative ads, True.com, based in Irving, Tex., has seemingly come out of nowhere to become one of the most visited sites in the $700 million-a-year online dating industry, attracting 3.8 million people last month.

True’s rise has been controversial. The company has riled competitors like Match.com and Yahoo Personals, which say that True’s lowbrow advertisements clash with its high-minded lobbying and legal efforts. True, which conducts criminal background checks on its subscribers, is the primary force behind a two-year-old campaign to get state legislatures to require that social Web sites prominently disclose whether or not they perform such checks.

True also says it is preparing to sue an ex-convict from Florida in Texas state court for violating its terms of service by joining the site.

“I want to make sure that our members have a wholesome environment for courtship,” said Herb Vest, True’s 63-year-old founder and chief executive.

Rivals dismiss the company’s piety as a play for publicity. They also assert that the company makes it especially difficult for users to cancel its $49.95-a-month service, and that it has a history of generating automated messages that appear to be flirtatious “winks” from other users.

“True is the controversial child in the Internet dating industry. They are loathed by everybody,” said Joe Tracy, publisher of Online Dating Magazine, a Web site on the industry.

Mr. Vest, a Vietnam veteran with a Texas accent, brushes off the criticism. “If there was a popularity contest among the entire population of the United States, I most assuredly would come out at the very bottom of that,” he said. “But you are not going to stop me by calling me names.”

True joined the crowded online dating scene in 2004. To distinguish itself from the pack, it offered a range of personality and sexuality surveys. It also hired the data broker ChoicePoint to perform background checks on customers to ensure that they had no criminal record and were not married.

The company then tried to have laws passed in several states that would require other sites to conduct background checks or disclose that they do not.

Companies like Yahoo, Google and IAC/InterActiveCorp, which owns Match.com, lobbied against the proposal through NetCoalition, an industry trade group. Markham Erickson, the group’s executive director, said background checks were ineffective, partly because felons can easily circumvent them by providing false information. “Their initial sound bite sounds great, but once you get past that, you realize it’s totally unworkable,” he said.

True has had little political success so far, but is backing bills that legislators are considering in Florida, Texas and Michigan.

Mr. Vest has used political tactics before. His first company, the financial firm H. D. Vest, helped pass legislation in nearly all 50 states that allowed certified public accountants to earn commissions on the sale of securities. Critics who said the move would influence the financial advice of accountants — and benefit H. D. Vest, which offered tax and investment guidance — were overruled.

Mr. Vest sold his company to Wells Fargo for $128 million in 2001, then gravitated to the online dating market, with the professed aim of restoring family values. “I looked at the divorce rate and said, ‘That’s a bunch of nonsense. I can do something about that,’ ” he said. He himself underwent what he called a painful divorce in 1991 and has remarried.

True.com grew too quickly in its first year and sailed into financial trouble. At the end of 2004, Mr. Vest, its primary investor, laid off 90 employees, more than half its staff.

Soon after, True became more aggressive, and sex-themed, in its advertising. While the site continued to pitch itself as a safe way to date, its ads now featured voluptuous women and slogans like “Come and get them while they’re hot.”

Newer True.com video ads depict models in their underwear, imploring men to visit True and chat with them over live Web cameras.

According to Nielsen Monitor-Plus, True.com spent $52.2 million over the first 11 months of last year on Web ads, more than double the amount its rivals spent online. (EHarmony, which runs TV ads, is the offline leader with $110.1 million in spending.)

Mr. Vest said the company’s ad budget continues to expand. He said the company is profitable and has 16 million members, but he declined to say how many of them actually pay the company, and how many use the more limited free services or no longer visit the site.

Match.com and Yahoo declined to discuss True.com. But David Evans, who writes Online Dating Insider (onlinedatingpost.com), a blog about the industry, said the competition was upset with True because its ad blitz, which included text ads tied to dating-related search terms, is driving up advertising costs while harming the industry’s reputation.

“They worked hard to overcome the stigma of providing these services,” Mr. Evans said. “And True comes in, grabs the lead in page views and drives up the cost of dating keywords on the search engines for everyone else.”

The ad campaign has also brought some strenuous objections. MySpace users have started four groups on the site asking it to reject True.com ads. Mr. Vest denies that his ads are exploitive or semipornographic. “We are very conscious of our reputation,” he said. “Pornography brings perverts, and we do not want perverts on our site. On the other hand, you can state from me in bold letters that True is in favor of sex.”

The ad carpet-bombing has worked in one way: last year, True jumped to the top of several lists of the most visited personals sites. According to comScore Media Metrix, True.com’s 3.8 million visitors in February put it slightly behind Yahoo Personals and Match.com, but ahead of older rivals like eHarmony and Spark Networks, which owns JDate.com and other sites.

However, True still significantly trails those players in more important categories, like time spent on the site. That suggests that many users are either not signing up for paid memberships or are quickly dropping the service once they do.

Or at least trying to drop it. On many Web forums, online daters have shared horror stories of trying to cancel their True.com accounts. True requires members to telephone the company to cancel, but it appears to go the extra step of sometimes failing to honor those requests.

Preston Roder, a 54-year-old liquor store manager in Mundelein, Ill., said he tried to quit True.com last September after an unfruitful yearlong membership but was still hit with an array of charges over the next four months.

“True is a big company, but they could care less when you try to cancel,” said Mr. Roder. “They got your money so they are through with you.”

Mr. Vest said the company recently revised its policy on cancellations. “We are not as good as I want to be. We still have an ongoing project to improve,” he said.

The site has also been criticized for generating random “winks” — the industry term for messages of interest from other members. Dan Consiglio, a 49-year-old engineer from Vancouver, Wash., said he received dozens of winks from women after signing up for True, and responded to many of them. He got only one response, from a woman who kindly informed him that she had not, in fact, winked at him.

Mr. Vest acknowledged that the service sends artificial winks, but he said users have the option to disable them and that they serve an important purpose. “We try getting people who otherwise might be very retiring or shy to meet each other and fall in love and have children,” he said. “We are just trying to do our job as a matchmaker.”
BRAD STONE

New tough migration law stings millions of foreigners as its efficiency questioned

2007-03-19T08:47:00.000-04:00

MOSCOW: For the past 10 years, the 42-year-old Tajik has worked 12 hours a day, through stinging cold and sweltering heat, to sell vegetables at a Moscow market. As of April 1, he may look back on all the backbreaking toil as a good period.

That's the day a new law takes effect forbidding foreigners from trading at markets and other retail operations.

"It's unfair — so many people worked so hard to come here and earn bread to feed their families and their children," said the vendor, Khalimjon Akhmadaliyev. "I don't know what to do next, I guess I will have to pull my kids out of school and return home."

Millions of migrants from countries of the former Soviet Union, of which Tajikistan is the poorest, have come to Russia for work that is grinding but still a step up from what was available at home. About 1 million them are registered to live and work in the country and experts estimate another 10-12 million are illegal.

In January, Russia introduced a law aimed at easing stringent procedures for obtaining work and residency permits — but at the same time imposed quotas for foreign labor and prohibited all foreigners from trading at the country's sprawling markets as of April.

Today in Europe

Russian's account further clouds poisoning mystery Poland won't block efforts to revive EU constitution Center Party wins parliamentary election in Finland
Migration policy has become a major source of controversy for President Vladimir Putin's government amid a rise of anti-foreigner sentiment and hate crimes.

Experts say the measure, taken after Putin last fall called for protecting the interests "of the indigenous population" at retail markets, will only fuel xenophobia by targeting mostly dark-skinned workers from the Caucasus and Central Asia. They also say the law is likely to hurt rather than help Russians by creating shortages of products and driving up prices.

"We don't really understand the reason for this decision," said John Litwack, chief economist at the World Bank's Russia office. "It is not clear in our mind why the nationality of salespeople is an important target for dealing with this question."

While Litwack praised measures to liberalize migration policies and crack down on illegal migrants, he said Russia relies "enormously" on migrant labor and will need 1 million migrants per year in the medium-term to compensate for the country's population decline.

Russia has experienced a severe demographic crisis since the collapse of the Soviet Union, with its population falling by about 700,000 people a year due to declining birth rates and a fall in life expectancy connected with turmoil in the post-Soviet state health care system as well as widespread drinking and smoking.

Federal Migration Service chief Konstantin Romodanovsky praised the law, saying it has cut the number of deportations of illegal migrants in half while tripling the number of foreigners who obtain work and residency permits.

Authorities also say expelling foreign workers from markets will benefit local producers, but it's unclear whether Russians will move into the grueling market jobs.

At a recent raid of illegal migrants at an outdoor market in western Moscow, Mikhail Matryoshin, a senior inspector with the Moscow migration service, boasted that only 3-4 percent of foreigners had remained at the market and by April 1 there should be none.

"Russian women are trading here," Matryoshin said pointing to middle-aged women selling pickled cabbage, a traditional Russian dish. "I think the situation is normalizing in this sense — our citizens are starting to come and work at markets, stalls are being created for them."

Some customers agree, saying they prefer Russian vendors to foreign ones, many of whom speak poor Russian. "I like our people more, our people are nicer to you," said Yelena Dobrokvashina, a 52-year-old retiree, who pushed a stroller with her grandson.

Others, however, complain that markets have emptied because many Russians are reluctant to take up the menial jobs of vendors, creating a shortage for products and driving prices up.

"They passed this law to kick them all out, they kicked them all out and now what?" said Anatoly Room, a 62-year-old pensioner. "Half of the market is empty, they should have made sure that somebody else would come and work."

Some officials are acknowledging the difficulties. Economics Minister German Gref recently said that only 73 percent of market slots throughout the country were now being used, hinting that the deadline for sending away all foreign market traders packing may be postponed. Moscow mayor Yuri Luzhkov has sought to make the capital an exception and allow foreigners into markets.

Denis Soldatikov, spokesman for the Federal Migration Service, said the April 1 deadline was only the start of the effort to replace them with Russians, naming Dec. 31 as the real cutoff point. He also stressed that foreigners will be forbidden from working as salespeople, but could still serve as porters and managers.

Why Marry A Russian Woman?

2007-03-18T13:10:00.001-04:00

Have you ever thought of Why Marry A Russian Woman? It may sound abstract and meaningless. Why would you marry a Russian woman far away from your home and culture? Why would you marry at all?

The second question is what you have to decide alone, but the first one has some reasonable answers so it is worth considering.

Actually, wives from Russia are very popular all over the world. There is some kind of mystique that surrounds around these women.

The elemental truth is that Russian women are mostly beautiful thanks for genetic traits. On the other hand, their beauty comes from the fact that they do want to look attractive for men.

But apart from the look, Russian women have traditional family values, family is extremely important for them. They also don't really care much about making a career.

This attitude originates from the Russian society's nature, as it is mostly male dominating. It is expected from a woman to give up or neglect her career when she gets married.

Russian women can only reach a respectable social status if they get married and have children. Success for a woman is unambiguously marriage and children as the primary conditions.

When you date a Russian woman, you can be absolutely confident that she is looking for a partner for marriage, and not just enjoying going out with you.

Feminism is not trendy in Eastern Europe, and Russian women (http://www.usefulandfree.com) are absolutely feminine and like men that are masculine.

It is also a fact that the Russian are highly educated, almost 60% of people in Russia have graduated from a college or university.

They also consider themselves "The most literate nation in the world". So your prospective wife might be intelligent, too.

The most interesting and joyful reality is that they like men from abroad. Maybe they want their children to have a secure future, or they simply want to escape from the scarce flat where they live with their parents. Nobody knows exactly.

It is also known that Russian men behave very differently to women than western men. To tell the truth, because of the old traditions, they are not very good husbands.

The whole family pattern is different. All housework is women's responsibility, and it's quite a lot if taking in consideration the lack of home electronic utilities. About 80% of Russian families do not have even an automatic washing machine.

So they do their best to find an ideal stranger. They even subscribe to Internet dating services and hope that the fairy-tale comes true.

It is the good news for you if you are wondering - Why Marry A Russian Woman? The internet has been flooded with dating services, looking for a wife in Russia is not a dream.

You have the opportunity to meet and date through the Internet and it won't take a lifetime to find the woman of your dreams. Just be careful and do not use unknown agencies in order to avoid scammers.

Why Marry A Russian Woman?

by Fruzsina Csery; About the Author Fruzsina Csery is a freelance copy writer. She occasionally writes for Russian Wives

"Pickup Arts" Newsletter!

2007-03-17T22:28:00.000-04:00

Thankyou for answering my mail. frankly speaking i have never
approached a female and if i hav than i hav always faced rejections
cause i donot know , 1, how to approach? 2,what topic to start
with? what should i talk the girl to get her interested in me? and
in mycase at the start whether a girl or a boylike talking to me
but after aweek they find me boring
i wood serioously to change my approach but donot know how to do
that ,people make fun of me, i dont hav girlfriends , as a boy wood
also love to hav a girlfried but donot know how?

I PROMISE TO WALK ON THE PATH U SHOW BUT PLZ HELP ME.
THANKYOU.
H

/// Response to Challenge # 1 ///

Well first of all, I think you've got to pay attention a little bit
as your question has little to do with the challenge. Secondly,
our newsletters and DVDs pretty much answer the common questions
you have. I would love more than anything to answer these kind of
beginner questions every time they come up but they are answered
week after week already in our newsletters and, well, this is the
"Super 50 Challenge".

In the meantime, while you wait for more newsletters to get to your
mailbox, here is some advice:

1. You're afraid to approach because you're afraid of rejections.
You think you get rejected too much because you've not got enough
experience approaching. Answer: Stop making excuses and start
talking to girls. The ONE thing for sure is you won't get past
your issues unless you get out there and talk to girls no matter
what you THINK might happen, and no matter what may have happened
in the past.

2. There is not one topic to start with, there isn't even one
specific way to initially approach. You can't look at it that way.
So many guys starting out will be looking for a "magic bullet"
piece of advice that will somehow take away the fear but the
reality is even if there as one single way to start talking to a
girl, the next question will inevitably be "what's next?" You
can't worry about that. If you worry about just the next step you
will take you will never take the first step.

3. You need to be more interesting. Chances are you are only
interested in things others around you may not be. Be interested
in what other people are interested in. You don't have to devote
your life to this but at least try to understand what other people
are interested in and get involved.

4. About being made fun of. Let me tell you that most people
growing up get made fun of for one thing or another. You have to
know that years from now it will mean nothing. And chances are you
are blowing certain feelings out of proportion. The more you allow
such things to affect you, the more negatively they will affect
you, and how much they affect you is up to YOU and not someone
else, so why be your own worst enemy?

Keep reading our newsletters, it will only help.

OK, that mail didn't count as part of the "Super 50" so let's try
this again...

/// Challenge # *1* (FOR REAL!) ///

Hey Man, G here. Very new to the whole community but have read The
Game and am starting others. Anyways, I wrote this myspace post
(hope that works, sorry for wasting your time if it dosnt count as
an email, just disregard) to this girl tonight. Here's the context
between me and her:

We met one night at a small party I had at my house last year. She
used to hook up with one of my friends who I see every so often
(but I did not know that at the time I met her). We were both
pretty drunk, but ended up clicking really well and got along
great. I eventually tryed to number close at first when we went
outside for a chat but to no avail. As the night went on, the
crowd started getting way smaller and all of a sudden it was just
me and her in my room. I ended up kiss closing on her and she
spent the night. I got her number the next morning.
Unfortunately, no F-close. Anyways, after that night I just
couldnt seem to pull a kiss close from her ever again and so I
think I got stuck in the friend zone but never got the LJBF speach.
So a summer and a few months later (I saw and talked to her every
now and then but no kissing or kino) I move to Hollywood and so
does she (not planned on at all, just a coincidence). And I have
been here for a month and have talked to her on the phone every
now n then and have been writing her emails, or myspace/facebook
posts to try and hang out with her but she's trying to be some big
shot dancer and is always flaking or not calling/writing back etc.
So this is what I wrote to her tonight (probably the last thing
I'll ever write her if she dosnt respond):

"Hey I know you're a super cool big shot these days and all, but if
you have a free moment from signing autographs we should meet up,
I mean we live a few miles away and Im getting pretty sick of
hanging out with Paris and her crew all the time!"

-----Thats it, What do you think?

/// Response to Challenge # *1* ///

What up G,

First, a lot of our readers might not be up on the lingo you used
in your message but I think they'll get the gist.

Anyway, a party at your house immediately means she knows you're
social, etc, but it also means you ARE the party. You're the
leader of the party, you're the main guy. When you kissed her in
your room, you should have moved forward to more after everyone
left. If you did at least try, great, but if you didn't even try
then that's going to work against you in the long run. Girls can
always say "no", but you can't take back not even trying,
especially when the circumstances are in your favor.

Underdsstand this: When a girl likes you, she is actually going to
be afraid of rejecting you because she thinks if she does then you
will be disappointed and not like her. So sometimes they will feel
awkward to do anything and even many times talk themselves out of
situations where they might have to say "no" (even when they want
to). Other times they are ready to say "yes" but still don't want
to make a move because THEY are afraid to be the ones rejected.
So, either way, you've got to presume she likes you so make that
move. Even if she says "no", it's likely she's the one concerned
about it and in that case you can easily just act calm and unphased
and you'll get another chance another time.

But when a guy doesn't even try...

No no my friend. Women will almost never forgive a guy for not
even trying. I hate to say it, and most of society will never
condone this advice, but it's simply true. As a guy, most women
will expect you to at least try and if you don't then they actually
hold it against you. There's no use questioning it. They are
empowered to say "no" so if you don't' even try to escalate, it's
like they see your spine as missing.

Then you allowed a few months to go by. Oh, man, what were you
thinking? OK OK I'm sure you had plenty of other girls to take up
your time (tell me that's true) but still, don't let a potentially
good situation flounder for so long! Hit the iron while it's hot,
man!

My guess about what more you wrote about this tells me that you
were also then tryign TOO HARD after that long to meet up with her.
Possibly every time you talked to her, there was SOME element of
the conversation leaning towards you trying to get her to hang out
with you. Tell me I'm wrong. Man, just hold back and chill out.
It's good to be persistent but not overwhelmingly so to the girl or
else you will just come across like you're TOO interested (which is
unattractive to women).

So finally let's get to the mail you sent her. It's good because
it's short (exactly the right length as we explain in our DVDs),
but from there it's downhill and I'll tell you why. It just
carries with it the exact same tone that caused her to run away or
avoid you after you let the situation flounder so long. Although I
don't think an email would have done much to reverse the backwards
momentum this situation started to build up, here's a version which
at the very least would have given you a chance to bounce back:

"Hey Paris, sorry I forgot to pay your $208 storage bill. Whoops.
Signed, Boy Toy # 12.".

See, first of all, it's even SHORTER than yours by a factor of 4.
Displays no ill-will and at the same time NO OVERT INTEREST in
trying too hard to meet up. It's also humourous and gets away with
referring to her as "Paris" [Hilton] in a joking way. And, if
she's up on recent events at all, she will have to laugh out loud
about the $208 storage bill.

(For the readers who are unaware, Paris Hilton forgot to pay a $208
bill to a place that was storing a lot of her stuff during a move,
6,000 of her belongings went on auction, and a new site popped up
called "Paris Exposed" with a lot of embarrassing photos, videos,
letters, andd other items).

You also get to call yourself a "Boy Toy" which throws in a sexual
vibe. All in all, in your version you give her no avenue for
responding back in a positive way, but in the version I give it
opens that door wide open. It also sets up a role-play which, if
she takes the bait on, works to your advantage because you can get
away with a lot more flirting and sexual innuendo in a follow up -
and what better way to get a girl interested again than to get her
flirting with you?

Yes, I know, I rock. Learn young Jedi, learn...

/// Challenge # 2 ///

First of all i want to thank you for giving me so much help picking
up girls. I know that you want me to write a letter that i've
considered to give to a girl, but first i want some advices for a
problem i have: there's a georgeus girl that is from another
school, and then i saw her at the mall hanging with some friends
and didnt what to do to talk to her, then a friend of mine give her
email, and she's asking me everyday: who are you, who are you??.. i
dont know what to do, because sometimes, anothers girls have asked
me the same, and i answered with my name, but then they asked me
where have we meet and who give you my email and thats the part
everything turns ugly.. and there's another girl at my school and
she brother died like 2 years ago and now she isnt easygoing and i
think she doesnt like me.... PLZZZ i want some advices in
these 2 cases urgently!!..

now the letter:

Dear *****: I know how to start with this letter but i want you to
know that a long way ago i have been in love with you, just look at
you. you are georgeus, blue eyes,... I know that maybe your are
just not into it, or maybe you just dont like me, but i really love
and allways will, since the first day i see you, everyday in
classes i keep seeing your beauty, but most of the time im scared
because when im trying to talk to you , you get kind of : '' just
leave me alone''... please give me a change, i know we are ment
to be..

How i get to know the girl: We are in the same school, i get in
the school last year, so im the newbie, she's the most georgeus
girl in the class, nobody ever have been able to be her boyfriend
and thats what likes me more, any time a guy is trying to aprroach
her, she puts a limit. She just like to hang up with her
girlfriends.

/// Response to Challenge # 2 ///

First, a question. Why do so many requests for help start with
something along the lines of "There's this ONE girl... how do I get
HER?..." That mentality has GOT to go guys. If you are focusing so
obsessively about one specific girl and so depsrate to want to know
how to get HER then you're alreay playing the game with a losing
mentality.

Imagine you are interested in martial arts and want to be a great
figher. Problem is you don't yet know how to fight. But you found
a master. Do you go to that master and say "Teach me how to beat
the very first guy I fight?" No, of course not. You seek the
master out so he can TRAIN you. And you PRACTICE by being in MANY
practice bouts. You learn, practice, learn, practice. And the
point being that you are doing all this so that one day when you
run into that ONE SPECIFIC FIGHTER that you mus conquer in the
ring, you will have the know-how and skilsl to do it. So you've
all got to STOP with the focus on "that one girl", because you are
missing the point.

OK, my rant is over, back to the challenge...

Honestly, I will be blunt and say your question is WEIRD. It
sounds rather childish. Even thinking about it is already turning
my brain into mush so I have to wonder what it's doing to your
brain for having thought about it longer than 2 breaths. Still,
you asked, and here is the answer:

If you're trying to be funny in the mail then it's not going to
work. She simply won't understamd, it will go over her head. You
really have to dumb down such letters if the point is humor. But I
can see where you were trying to go, so a better choice is:

"Hey *****, OK, I'll give you a hint who I am. I am the future
President of the United States and you're going to be my First
Lady. But before all that, we should probably hang out at a
high-class place like Starbucks and talk about my political
aspirations. Give me your cell # and I'll have my people contact
your people to make it happen. ~YourName"

Look, who knows where this would go, my take on it is you should
start acting more mature and pursue girls directly and stop wasting
time with kindergarden behavior. Still, my version of a mail rocks
the shiznit out of yours and, well, that's what the Super 50
Challenge is about.

Now, it seems you have a little growing up to do, but it's good
you're trying to get on the right path.

/// Challenge # 3 ///

Hey,

Ok - so I hooked up with a girl on new year's eve then got her
number before moving to my next target. Pretty hard core making
out on the dancefloor, lots of kino. So anyways, here's the text I
sent her about four or five days later...

"Hey cutie, I had fun making out with you on New Year's. When am I
going to get to squeeze that cute ass of yours again?"

Never got a response from her. I'm pretty bold when it comes to
text messaging and I've always gotten a great response when using
similiar lines. Maybe she saw me hooking up with someone else and
that's why she didn't return my text. It was a great night -
hooked up with three different girls and got two numbers. Anyways,
I was wondering if you'd like to comment on that message.

PS - Love the newsletters, there's some really great stuff in them.
Thanks again for everything.

T

Bronx, New York

/// Response to Challenge # 3 ///

Hi Mr. T,

Well, first things first, I will never let praise go un-thanked.
We appreciate the props!

Now, onto the challenge...

For our uninitiated readers, "kino" means, basically, "touching".
Anyway, I think you're blowing the situation up for more that it
might be. Making out with a girl on New Year's Eve and leaving
with her number isn't really quite in the realm of "hooked up".
Hooked up would have been waking up at 3AM naken in the same bed as
her with your head between her breasts. Still, you've got spunk so
you deserve a fair amoutn of encouragement and a point in an even
righter direction.

1. Don't send TXT messages *FIVE* days later. I mean, that's when
a meat-up should happen. A phone call maybe 2-3 days out (or even
the next day) but... FIVE days for a TXT? Don't make her think it
took you FIVE days to type out one sentence in your phone. I mean,
by then saying things like "Hey cutie..." will just make her go "huh?"

2. Of course you had fun with her NYE, but do you need to state the
obvious? Never state the obvious. Presume it.

3. Your TXT is going to make her feel like you think of her like a
slut, just because you made out with her on a night when hald the
known universe makes out with each other. Hey, there's nothing
wrong with a slut, but you can only get away with it if you're
already sleeping with her. "Squeeze that ass"? WTF were you
thinking? Of course she won't reply to that.

Man, you guys are making this challenge TOO EASY...

OK, so you say you've gotten good responses with similar TXT
messages before. I honestly don't believe you or you've got some
temporary fluke. I hope you mean "good responses" as you actually
got somewhere more with girls other than they had the humor to TXT
you back.

Try this type of TXT instead:

"I lost my vurginity on NYE. Were you the one who took it?"

I bet you can see about 30 angles that could take once a reply is
sent. It's obviously not serious, does not go out of the way to
state the obvious, and will not make her feel like you think of her
like a slut. And it's got a flair of humor in it - most guys
couldn't hone a sense of humor to save their lives and girls LOVE a
guy who can muster some humor. Even if she replies back making fun
of your joke, you can treat it as FLIRTING.

And just to show you that example wasn't an accidental run of of
genius on my part, here's another:

"We've known each other 2 years. I'm ready for a divorce."

She'll think "huh?" and when you get the TXTing going
back-and-forth, the joke will come through (you met in 2006 and
rand in the new year together into 2007). Doesn't matter if it's a
little corny, the point is to get the back-and-forth going.

Challenge # 3 down for the count!

/// Challenge # 4 ///

(I had to fix the formatting of this next challenge or some of our
readers might've had a hard time following).

Hi..i am K from Greece and i am going to the university and i am 18
years old(read it all if you dont mind)..so here is my
story...First day in the college i saw this girl and i was in love
with her in moment..i know it is rediculous as you read it but that
is the way i felt..i even remember the colour of her shirt..Even
though i am really cool with every girl i couldnt talk to this
particular for some reason..One day after 3 weeks i think i met her
in a cafe by a in common friend..so we gave hands and she said 'I
am I' and i replied 'I am K nice to meet you"...since that day i
hadnt spoken to her for about 2 months..every day i was thinking
about her all way home...but i just couldnt talk to her..one day a
friend of me helped me by introducing me to MM and the wholl
community sth that gave me a lot of confidence..so one day at the
break of the lesson i was sitting in the class with a friend of
mine and i saw her at about 20 meters in front of me...i told
myself now or never so i said to my friend wait a mnt...i stood up
and i was going to her even though she was with friends...as i was
approaching her my heart was beating rapidly..and then...

K: Hey...sorry for interrupting you but do you hve any make up?(the
one that girls use to their face)

I: Mmmm...what? no... i am sorry..i dont...but why do you need it?

K: It is for a friend of me whom i hit by accident

[i turn to her friend-female]

I: Do you?

FRIEND: um...no

[i turn to her friend-male]

K: I guess you dont have neither..right?

[so then i turn to her again and say]

K: Nice shoes anyway...

so at the moment she looks at her shoes i turn by back and
leave...

1 week later we sit in the classroom together and we talk..just to
meet each other better.. that day i was leaving to my hometown
Rodos(island) for christmas...after the lesson i was talking to a
friend of her and as i was leaving i came across to her and i didnt
even say hi...i dont even know why...so at the way home i was so
broken that i wouldnt see her for 2 and a half weeks..so i sent sms
to her friend for I's number..she gave me...even though it shouldnt
been that way..asking her number from a friend there was no other
way..so having her number and leaving the day after i sent her an
sms from mobile..(even though everything was in greek language i
will try to translate it correctly)

K: "You are not going to believe what just happened to me..as i was
going home i came across a piece of paper leaning on the road
written on it this number and your name on it("I")..so i took
it....tomorrow ealy in the moning i am leaving as you know and i
was wondering if you would like us to do sth tonight..go for a walk
or sth..K" and then the answer

I: "Interesting your story...i cant tonight...we can arrange it
another time..You didnt even say hi as you were leaving today!"

Many things have happened with this girl since that time..it has
been a month now...if you have read the whole article i would
appreciate it from the bottom of my heart...it might not be what
you asked for but i just had the feeling to tell sth from the whole
situation...many things have hapened and i am a bit confused..i
know there are many things in your life and you arent probably
interested in a guy in Greece and his story..but if you are i could
tell some time the rest and you can give me your opinion and needy
help..Tnx very much and i know many things i have said to her are
silly but you cant see right through me unless you are in my
shoes..I think it is more exceptable to say some times silly things
that start a conversation than totally nothing and then as you
return home you think about it all the time and may regret it for
the rest of your life thay you didnt even say that silly thing that
could might took her attention...I might see things too
seriously(as i am in love)..i also might be too sensitive..but this
is who i really am..you might laugh at ma right now..you may
not...LOve just a boy in the other side of the ocean called K

/// Response to Challenge # 4 ///

I think I speak for everone reading this newsletter when I say
"HUH?"

Well, K, I read that twice and I still can't full understand the
interaction, especially the one where you asked about the makeup.
I think perhaps an attempt at a tactic from someone else's advice
that either you didn't quite understand or didn't pull off right.

Anyway, I get the gist of it all and really it's pretty simple.

Your problem is that you're too scared to do much and you're
wasting a lot of time.

You have 2 steps to take to improve your life with girls a lot more:

- Get some balls.

- Stop worrying so much about getting things right and just start
taking action. You'd be much better off if you did things in a
normal, by-the-book way thank over-thinking it. If you're not even
at that level, then at least star there without getting too
overboard with special tactics.

I want all guys reading this newsletter to understand this. In
order to be better with girls, if you're not at least at a basic
level of normal social awareness and skills then you should work on
THAT first because otherwise no amount of tactics or magic pill
advice will be able to help you land girls.

That being said, I'll treat your TXT/SMS to her as my challenge to
fix, so here it is:

It's too damn long. Text on a phone is supposed to be short and to
the point. Use my other challenge examples to help you understand
this better.

Secondly, you don't have to make up bullshit about how you got her
number. Just tell her. If she asks, you can tell her exactly how,
but otherwise it's not important. You don't have to make excuses.

A better message would have been "Hi it's K, I'm leaving 2morrow,
let's do sth 2nite."

Read that again and compare to yours. It is saying literally
almost the exact same thing except in 1/10 the space and it does so
more effectively.

Seriously, study this carefully and you will begin to understand.

As for the rest of your issues, I feel I've covered them well
enough here and most of them can also be helped by reading more of
our newsletters.

"The Art of the Pickup"

2007-03-17T22:26:00.000-04:00

B. B. wrote:

Ray:

I just thought I'd let you know I greatly appreciate the
newsletters...I'm a student of your's, have three women I'm
balancing because of your CDs, and a pretty satisfied guy.

Thank you.

B. B.

********** ////// RESPONSE ////// **********

B.B,

Sounds like you had a very good Valentine's Day, times 3!

Anyway, thanks so much for the feedback, it's great to hear that
you are doing so well, and we always love to hear about how the
DVDs and newsletters are helping guys.

You might not need too much more advice as you are happy now, but
if you run into any sticking points or problems getting your fourth
and fifth girls, let us know lol!

Cheers,

Jay and Ray

********** ////// QUESTION ////// **********

K. from Singapore writes:

Hi Jay,

I really need some expert advice on this. I have been practising
fast seduction for a couple of months. I am outgoing and hitting on
chicks where ever I see, in the campus, on the street, etc.
Recently I have reached a bottleneck that I am unable to sail
through.

On the first encounter with a girl, I can get her very excited.
Sometimes it leads to an exchange of hp number. Sometimes if the
situation is okay, I will stay with her for awhile longer, getting
alot of kino and fluff and sex talks with her. I can see from her
expression, body language that she is getting very 'high' and
excited. However, once I allow her to go back home, she will
CHICKEN OUT. I will not able to get her out again.

What I think is that when she goes back home and cooled down, she
suddenly realised she was doing all these "too ahead of schedule".
Or when she talked over this with her friends, her friends will
analyse the whole thing to her and asked her to chicken out. There
were a few times a girl will chicken out the last final minute when
we have agreed to meet at somewhere very safe, with a very safe
excuse. I got really pissed with this kind of last minute
cancellation, although I have reminded her of the meeting in the
morning.

The whole thing around fast seduction is to do things fast, and
move on fast if she is not interested. But then, I faced too many
chicken-outs recently (reaching 20 for the past 2 weeks). What is
your suggestion? Girls are not horny and confident enough in
Singapore? These girls are not dating alot of guys. Is that the
reason contribute to this? Is there a way to play around this?

K.

********** ////// ANSWER ////// **********

Hi K.,

Ray Devans here, I will answer your question since Asian women are
my area of expertise.

First, let me answer your last question about whether Singapore
women are not horny and confident. I have no idea about how
confident they are.

But I know from personal experience that they are horny. How, you
might ask?

Well, my experience is admittedly limited to 3 Singapore Airline
stewardesses that I have met. Of those 3, I got phone numbers from
all of them, slept with 2 of them, and am pretty sure I would have
slept with all of them if I had been able to meet the third one
again.

Pretty good statistics if you ask me. OK, I also happen to be an
expert at seducing stewardesses, but that is an advanced topic...

Anyway, before I get to the rest of your questions, even though I
admit there are subtleties to each country, I want to say that
women all around the world are horny at some level. So it is not
just an Asian thing, or a Singapore thing, or a "women-in-my
country" thing. (We get an email every day asking about "women
from X country").

So even if I didn't have personal experience with women from
Singapore, I would still know they are horny.

The desire for sex in women is biological, it is genetic. You just
have to know how to get around the societal blocks to their natural
urges.

Now, your problem is that you are ramping these women too quickly.
It is not called "The Art of Temporary Excitement", anyone can
learn to excite a woman for a fleeting moment. The 'ART' in "The
Art of the Pickup" comes in knowing how to do things at the right
time, in the right order and right place, to lead to the result you
want.

When you get them excited like this too fast, it is not as you
surmise just their friends that might be talking themselves out of
meeting you again, but their own consciousness. Women want to feel
in control and not feel like sluts, and helping them feel that way
while still getting them to give in to what they want to do at a
deep level is like walking a tightrope, it takes skill and balance.

You need to focus a bit more on getting them comfortable around you
and less on creating massive sexual attraction in the moment. It
needs to be a smooth, continuous process. When you finally get
them back to your place, or at least a place where sex can happen
uninterrupted, THAT is when you put on all the moves and sex talk.

So I advise you to slow down a bit. That isn't to say that it is
not possible to get a woman to date you and go home with you the
same day you meet her, in fact we teach you how to do this in the
DVDs. But it is more reliable to spread it slowly over a few days
in steps with continuous progress.

If you are still having problems with your next 10 attempts, you
owe it to yourself to get "The Art of the Pickup" DVDs. Or else
you are going to give up in frustration and wind up at one of those
transvestite bars I heard about in Singapore!

But seriously, we cover each interaction for you from first
approach, to how to get the number consistently, to how to follow
up for a second date, to how to suggest going back to your place,
to what to do once there to seduce her, all in ORDER, and at the
right PACE.

Online Dating Lacks Dimension

2007-03-16T21:37:00.001-04:00

Wired News on the Go Sync up, head out, read Wired News on your handheld at your leisure.

What's Ahead

By Regina Lynn| Also by this reporter
05:00 AM Mar, 16, 2007

For those who recoil in disgust at the thought of meeting anyone through the internet, that's fine too. If the internet is not integrated into your life such that relationships flow online and offline and back again so naturally you can't even remember where things started, we're probably not compatible anyway.

Most of the 3-D worlds I've ventured into provide optional profile pages for adding a "real world" dimension to a place where you represent yourself with a cartoon. But because you are constantly interacting with people in real time, the profile is not the first, or even the primary, point of contact for the relationship.

After that conversation with my friend, I called up my old Salon Personals profile, which has been in the database and set to "invisible" for seven years. It's been at least five years since I last used it to meet someone.

I stared for a while at this artifact from my past, taking in the photo of a younger, slimmer self, reading the double entendres I'd thought said more about me than any long-winded résumé. ("Q: What is the best or worst lie you've ever told? A: It doesn't matter.")

The scary part, the part that made me catch my breath, is that what I wrote is still true. Technically. On the surface.

I could probably set the profile back to "visible" and not have to buy my own soy-chai-latte-with-added-shot for a month and no one would know the difference, because those half-hour coffeehouse dates aren't enough to get below the surface either.

But I have changed so much. I have grown and matured and suffered and discovered and explored and chased dreams (and caught some of them, too). A static profile cannot keep up with life. That the descriptions I worked on so meticulously then could be stretched to fit who I am now shows just how little we learn about a person from a profile.

The New York Times ran a feature last weekend about services that help people capture more of themselves in their personals, showing them how to take better pictures and replace clichés like "I enjoy travel" with specifics like "I hiked the Great Wall of China."

In a 3-D environment, you don't have to list your travel résumé -- you just go do the things you like to do, and see who's there. If there's no great wall to hike you can get a group together to build one or petition the developers to create one.

Maybe I would feel differently if I had a biological clock, like the men Salon writer Elline Lipkin kept running into on dating sites.

Or maybe I have just grown into a person who would rather relate in the here and now with the people I run into on a regular basis, online and off, than comb through a directory looking for someone new. Sexual attraction can be built over time, something those 30-minute coffee dates to assess "chemistry" don't allow for.

Alternatively, immediate sparks can be acted on -- but are no guarantee of lasting satisfaction.

I took one last look at my 30-year-old self, then deleted the profile from the database. If sex is going to find me online, it will find me. And meanwhile, I'm hoping to spend a lot more time in more than just three dimensions. Yes, Luddite, that's right: I'm going to go outside.

But I'll take both my cell phones with me, in case you want to text.

See you next Friday,

Regina Lynn

- - -

Regina Lynn recognizes that relationships are much more complex than she can fit in just one column. That's why Sex Drive has archives and a blog.

Online Dating Lacks Dimension

2007-03-16T21:34:00.000-04:00

Sex Drive

A friend asked me last weekend if I was going to go back to online dating, now that I'm single again. I answered truthfully: It hasn't even occurred to me.

Even if I were looking for another lover, or boyfriend, or husband, or hookup (which I'm not; let's nip that e-mail in the bud right now), I don't think I would return to an online dating service.

If I'm going to get involved online, I'd rather meet people in a 3-D virtual environment. The avatars they wear and the environments they build tell me more about them than their online dating profiles.

Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks so. The BBC quoted Mark Kern, president of game company Red 5 Studios, predicting that in just five years, "a social-networking site without a 3-D universe will look like a dinosaur."

The adult sites get it. Social-networking site Utherverse (NSFW) launched in conjunction with its erotic universe, Red Light Center (NSFW). And Naughty America: The Game describes itself as "the evolution of online dating," not as "the Sims on steroids."

Even though MMOs carry an even greater social stigma than online dating, a virtual world more closely resembles the way humans meet and relate than a database of personal profiles. You have a group of people with a common interest spending time in shared pursuits on a regular basis. Shared pursuits other than dating, that is.

The strongest love relationships in my life have been the ones that grew, often unexpectedly, from friendships and community, not from set-ups or browsing through a catalog. And how many people do you know who only fell in love after they stopped trying to?

When UCLA professor Janet Lever studied online romance a few years ago, she was surprised to learn that just as many relationships emerged from chat rooms and what she delicately called "erotic sites" as from online dating services. The couples reported about the same levels of happiness and solidity, regardless of where they first met.

Unlike the internet relay chat rooms of old -- and I am not the only one to have found love there, not by a long shot -- a 3-D universe adds a new dimension of interaction and communication, along with several layers of complexity that help screen out the uninvested.

It takes dedication to reside in 3-D. But in 3-D, you can show each other what you mean when words become inadequate. You see how people interact with their friends, how they handle come-ons or rudeness from strangers, how they respond to fetishized avatars or environments, what they like to build and create and what they will spend money on.

Maybe that's the appeal, for me. I'm apparently drawn to people who are willing to commit to a shared hallucination and make it real. Second Life isn't just in our minds -- residents can supplement the family income through in-world businesses, and the in-world currency has value in the offline world. How long before we stop calling 3-D worlds "virtual"?

And I think I've always preferred to form connections and let attraction, lust and even love arrive in its own time, although I wouldn't have known that five years ago.

In fact, upon reflection, I think my initial response to new sexual and loving relationships has often been surprise. When did this happen? How did I get so lucky? Look at this cute guy I get to make omelets with in the morning!

That is probably why I found love (and sex, and friendships that are still going strong 10 years later) in a text chat room while I can barely remember who I met through online personals, other than that they were all nice men and nothing horrible happened.

Story continued on Page 2 »

By Regina Lynn|

Dove takes on beauty conventions

2007-03-15T20:40:00.000-04:00

Dove, Unilever's personal care brand launched its real beauty campaign in Turkey this week using real Turkish women as models, as part of a global social responsibility campaign that helps women realize that beauty comes from within.

In an effort to boost its brand's image and women's self esteem, Dove, one of the globally leading skin care brands, launched its “real beauty” campaign in Turkey this week, placing photographs of “everyday” Turkish women at mass transportation hubs in Istanbul, Ankara and Izmir.

Dove's real beauty campaign challenges mainstream conventions on beauty by publicizing photos of “real women” of all shapes and sizes, without make up, as opposed to professional models, to promote self-esteem. The campaign started with teasers at metro stations and bus stops around Istanbul this month. In the next two weeks the campaign will spread to Ankara and Izmir, and will be accompanied by a survey among 11 to 17-year-old girls on self-esteem and their perspectives on beauty.

The brand is Unilever's biggest personal care line, and this is one of its most expansive social responsibility campaigns affecting women in 80 countries where Dove is also sold. The real beauty campaign started in 2003 in the United States, and media have criticized it as just another ploy to increase sales. Yasemin Develioğlu, Dove's brand manager in Turkey, however, told the Turkish Daily News that this was a public relations campaign and it hadn't and wouldn't affect sales. “When we monitor activity after the campaign in other countries we see that there isn't a jump in sales,” she explained, “It does, however, build on the image of the brand.”

A Dove white paper published in 2006 that surveyed women's opinions in 10 countries, reported that 98 percent of women are not happy with how they look. At the Dove launch a panel of specialists echoed the findings discussing specifically the issues women in Turkey where the rising obsession with the pursuit of “beauty” is especially alarming among young girls. One of the panelists Dr. Işın Akı said that in 2003 Turkey ranked 18th among 46 countries with the highest occurrence of plastic surgery among 14 to 16-year-old girls, and the numbers are only increasing.

One of the “natural” faces of the campaign, Mevheş Aslan, 29, who works in the logistics sector told the TDN at the launch of the campaign on Tuesday, that when Dove stopped her on the street and asked her what is real beauty, she said, “Real beauty is the feeling the person has about themselves more than the physical appearance.” When she was called to an audition after two weeks and later was invited to be photographed she said was very thankful for the chance to participate in a project that aimed “to create a platform of discussion about beauty to show people that real beauty doesn't have strict norms,” she explained.

Using photography as a medium to challenge these strict norms, beauty and fashion photographer Defne Sesin Okay photographed the four women for the Dove campaign. Okay, 32, said that having worked in the industry she wondered why her subjects weren't the women on the streets. “Photography is one of the most powerful mediums,” she said. When used properly it can benefit society she said.

Having lived in Southeast Asia and the United States, professor Nilüfer Narlı, head of the Sociology Department at Bahçeşehir University said she always compares the situation of women in the world with that in Turkey. She explained that in Turkey the emphasis on beauty and youth is higher than in most other countries. “There is a cultural factor. A conviction that women should please men with their attitude,” she said. She also believes that with the influx of illegal Russian sex-workers over the last 10 years, Turkish men are comparing Turkish women to them, and changing the standard. “The augmented visibility of Russian women in Turkey has increased the emphasis on physical beauty,” she said.

“I think this campaign will change many things,” said Hande Çetin, 26, who was photographed in a black dress for the Dove campaign. Çetin explained that women's preoccupation with unreachable standards of beauty lead them to depression. “Women believe in their outward appearance, and try to look like women on TV and magazines, but then they realize they will never look like that. …They try to look beautiful for others,” she said.

Aylin Öge, 32, who proudly showed off her freckles in the advertising campaign, also thinks that women spend too much time on their outside appearance and not enough on their soul and personality. She wants to give Turkish women the same advise her grandmother always gave her, “Make you brain and soul beautiful instead.”

The real beauty Dove campaign will start a series of educational programs for women, especially mothers and daughters, after the conclusion of the survey and assessment of women's real needs at the end of May.
DAMARIS KREMIDA
ISTANBUL - Turkish Daily News

The Dating Game: Back in the hunt - and it's a new world

2007-03-15T20:30:00.000-04:00

Imagine you are a basketball player. You used to be a starter. You were out there during the big plays, winning championships.

But that was 10 years ago. Now, you're comfortable on the bench, sipping an extra cup of Gatorade. Suddenly, the big guy comes over and says, "Get up. You're in the game."

That's how it felt.

I found myself back in the world of singles two years ago, after having been married for just over a quarter of my life (no kids, if you're wondering). I had just moved to Miami - arguably the hottest city for a guy in his mid-30s to rediscover dating.

I just never imagined there were so many rules:

Rules of when to approach a woman and when to flirt with a woman. Rules on how to read signals while on a date, and how to stop yourself from expecting too much too soon. Rules on how to spend the holidays, any holiday, as a single person all of a sudden.

I want to explore those unwritten rules, overblown expectations and misread signals in this column.

Now, don't think I am some master psychologist or match-making guru who in the last two years of dating has cracked the code to success when it comes to the opposite sex. If that were the case, why would I be writing this?

Instead it is the turbulence you experience when you re-enter the singles stratosphere that I want to explore. Like my first dinner date in Miami with a real estate agent. When I picked her up in my Ford Explorer, circa 1996, she asked, "Is this your car? You can't drive this if you want to meet women in Miami."

Maybe it was the fact it had no CD player. Perhaps there were too many newspapers on the back seat. Regardless, it left me with a startling first impression of dating in this new world that would be topped just moments later, after we parked and walked to get sushi.

"Are those the shoes you are going to wear, " she asked, frowning at my black Timberlands that apparently were too scuffed up for her taste. I mean, it's not like I was wearing wooden clogs.

I know not all women are like this, but I am sure some men have heard worse from a woman on a first date along the way. And ladies, I am sure the same holds true for you. So there's plenty to discuss.

A big difference to being single now as opposed to 10 years ago is the Internet - Match. Craigslist. eHarmony. I opened accounts, sent winks and e-mailed a number of women. More on this later.

There's also speed dating, double dating, and blind dates, including the one with a woman who hadn't managed to zip up her dress when I picked her up at her apartment (she had to take a deep breath as I closed her dress). She towered over me as we walked down the street. (Note to self: When online dating, always get a photo.)

When you find yourself single again, whether it's after a short relationship or a long marriage, there's a sense of excitement and fright all rolled into one. The emotions that come with rejection, and then with the pursuit of acceptance, can make you do some really dumb things, like send text messages you shouldn't, make phone calls you really shouldn't, or visit people you really, really shouldn't.

Why do we do these things when we are single and dating? Why do singles ask about your shoes, believe the Internet will bring them the one, and then not understand where it went wrong?

Send me e-mails about your experiences and we'll get down to answering that great mystery - how do singles stay sane in the dating game?

By Fred Gonzalez

McClatchy Newspapers

(MCT)---

(Contact Fred Gonzalez at fgonzalez@MiamiHerald.com.)---

Online poll of men: 48% faked orgasm

2007-03-15T20:28:00.000-04:00

When it comes to faking orgasms, are men just as guilty?

A surprising new Lavalife poll shows faking orgasms is not just a woman’s prerogative. An astounding 48 percent of the 9,100 men polled on online dating site www.lavalife .com say they, too, have faked an orgasm.

“When it comes to faking orgasms, people assume that it’s primarily done by women,” says Ambrose Diaz, a contributing editor to Lavalife Magazine, who recently researched the topic and wrote a story on the practice ... or lack thereof.

“The poll we conducted on www.lavalife.com shows us that it’s definitely not just women who are faking it, but a large number of men as well.”

How do men do it?

“Wearing a condom makes it easy,” Diaz says. “According to my research, the men who have faked an orgasm without a condom just told their partners they didn’t ejaculate very much.”

According to Diaz, many of the reasons men fake orgasms are similar to those of women: they are tired, they just want to be done or they just aren’t into sex that particular night. Some thought they were going to lose their erection or felt they were lacking an emotional connection. In comparison to the men, 82 percent of the 6,350 women who were surveyed say they have faked an orgasm.

PR Newswire
TORONTO –

Click for commitment

2007-03-13T18:33:00.000-04:00

Martin Feil is a leading international trade economist. In 2002, when he was 55 and after 22 years of marriage, the father of five divorced. He shares his journey, and the quest to find love again - on the internet.

the '60s young people married and had more children earlier. Now, four decades later, those same people are divorcing at an unprecedented rate.

This horrifies their parents - the builders who often endured lives of silent, emotional suffocation and stoic indifference. They married, bred, worked, accumulated assets, grew apart, stayed together, and died. My generation has refused to live in this emotional wasteland. We have had the money and the emotional strength to move out and move on. We are also the greatest optimists of all time. We believe that we can fall in love again.

Divorce and the ensuing separation are like death. At the beginning your heart and your mind are in overdrive. You remember the love so you mourn the loss. You pass through some of the stages of mourning such as regret, denial, fear and anger but you end up at indifference. As time goes by the personal contact is just about money. The kids grow up. The house is gone and there is less and less shared experience relevant to your life. Phone conversations become infrequent and almost an affront to your memories.

The major difference between death and divorce is that death continues to have an emotional hold. You are always sorry that the person you loved died. The memories stay there but they are present in pastel shades and the emotional edges blur. With divorce the mind eventually stops recovering the memories. Initially, there is also a hope of resurrection in divorce, which cannot be present in death.

We also become stronger in our righteousness. Data and events in our memory banks that don't support our position or emotional state meet the fate of all such data, regardless of the analytical application. It is lost in the analysis and excluded from the conclusion.

One day you begin to stir. You live alone and women are not part of your life except at the office. They are friends rather than potential partners and you never cross the line. What was acceptable behaviour as a young single man in the marriage pool is not acceptable from a middle aged divorcee. Clubs and hotels are not a possibility. You cannot approach women you have never met and know nothing about. This is the unconscious, physical approach of the young who haven't experienced or even thought about rejection.

But technology has created a solution. The internet provides the greatest courtship opportunity that the world has ever known. It has reduced the courtship completion chain from years to months or even weeks. There is a large, transparent and willing market. The email process removes the terror of face to face or telephone contact until the relationship is sufficiently entrenched to make the next step comfortable.

Email is the greatest evolutionary step in communication since the invention of the morse code. They are less formal and much faster than letters but create the same opportunity to express feelings and provide personal content. They have more emotional value than telephone conversations because they can be reviewed to get the message right and revisited to ensure that the reader understands.

There are no interruptions and no misconceptions. They provide an ongoing history of the development of a relationship.

Finally, they are a much, much faster means of communication. There are no postmen. Twenty emails a day can be sent, equating to a very long conversation in which both people have had the opportunity to receive, reflect and reply.

I find it amusing that some people consider online dating services to be aberrations in the very important process of people meeting people. More traditional processes were ineffi cient. You met people at work (full of legal pitfalls today), at clubs or pubs or through friends and relations. There was little choice and collecting personal information was a long, painful process. Baby boomers do not have the choice of continuing these processes today - we don't have enough life left.

One drawback of the whole process is the misrepresentation that occurs on the web. Just about everyone has had an exciting, fulfilling life and most of it has been spent in Tuscany or the south of France. No one is ever grossly overweight and they are all great cooks and can dance like flames. By the time that you meet you have already formed an emotional bond on the internet that is difficult to discard.

On a darker note, some women have had demeaning experiences at the hands of predators who think that dating websites are sexual smorgasbords. This is a great shame because it takes some courage to literally put yourself up on the internet block.

While people may not be exactly as represented, they are still usually interesting, adventurous achievers that have picked themselves up, dusted themselves off and are willing to start all over again. They are just looking for a nice woman or a good bloke.

What is certain is that online dating beats the alternative, which is to meet no one at all. I have met two women this way. Both are charming, clever people who have been alone for quite some time.

There is a lot of nervous energy consumed in moving from the ether to physical reality. You engage in a ritual dance that is a series of clearly defined steps... from coffee to commitment. There is also a desire to want to hurry that commitment to get to the lovely comfortable relationship that you had with your wife or partner before things changed.

There can be a tendency to hurry and to say that time wasters need not apply. I think there needs to be better distinction between those who are looking for a life partner and those who want a number of companions.

Internet courtship is more than dating for most baby boomers. The internet certainly facilitates an exchange of relevant information and there is a strong element of matchmaking in the process. It's a much more disciplined and structured process than we had years ago.

I lament the end of my marriage and recognise that my wife was the love of my life. But I am not prepared to stick to grog and golf with my sons and bachelor mates. Anything as good as love has to be part of my life. I have baggage - including wanting the approval of my sons, but so what. I will fall in love again.

Love conquers (almost) all as Valentine woos former Soviets

2007-03-12T21:13:00.000-04:00

The first time my Latvian-born wife heard of Valentine's Day, it was part of a high-school lesson on the customs of capitalists.

"My English teacher thought it would be a good idea for us to learn about the customs they had abroad. So we all had to write a Valentine's card, and the teacher distributed them," she told me
shortly before our first Valentine's Day together.

My wife was born in Soviet Latvia in the Brezhnev years, when capitalists were "decadent," the victory of communism was "imminent" and five-year plans were completed in two and a half years.

Those were the days when flowers were the only gift you seldom had to queue for, and the calendar was crammed with festive days:

February 23 (Red Army day), April 1 (geologists), October 30 (mechanics), December 22 (electricians) and scores more.

"We used to give each other flowers all the time," she told me once, when describing her childhood. It may have been a hint.

Even now, 16 years since Latvia declared the renewal of its independence from the USSR, the biggest day in florists' diary is not February 14, but a date made popular in Soviet times: March 8, International Women's Day.

On that day, every man in Latvia is expected to buy every female acquaintance he's likely to meet at least a small bunch of flowers. The bouquets don't have to be extravagant, but a failure to deliver is likely to be viewed as a distinct lack of courtesy.

"On March 8, it's possible to give flowers to all women: relatives, friends, colleagues. It was popularized in Soviet times, but it's been our biggest day for as long as I can remember," said Ilze Zagata, of online florist Teleflora.lv.

In its original incarnation, March 8 was a Soviet celebration, honouring a 1917 strike by Russian women widely seen as instrumental in the downfall of the last czar. As such, it fell out of favour with patriotic Latvians when the Soviet Union collapsed.

"Right after independence, March 8 was wiped off the calendar, except among ethnic Russians, but so many women complained that the tradition was revived very quickly," Zagata said.

During the 1990s, Latvia's economy and culture came to be dominated by Western goods and traditions. As a result, Valentine's Day is becoming more popular every year.

"Flower sales on March 8 are going up steadily, but sales at Valentine's are going by leaps and bounds. It could be more important than March 8 very soon now," Zagata said.

But if the number of men seen staggering along Riga's streets with armfuls of flowers last year is anything to go by, March 8 seems unlikely to vanish from the calendar any time soon.

And that being the case, Valentine's conquest of former-Soviet society looks likely to have less impact on Latvia's women than on their men.

Now excuse me - I have got to go and buy some flowers.

Egypt detains 4 Russian women on Israel border

2007-03-12T12:02:00.000-04:00

CAIRO -- Egyptian police detained four Russian women on the Israeli border Monday who said that they were attempting to cross to find work in nightclubs in the Jewish state, a security source said.

The four women in their twenties had donned the flowing robes of the region's nomadic Bedouin in their effort to slip across but were stopped by police on a routine patrol, the source said.

Between 5,000 and 10,000 women work involuntarily in Israel's sex trade, according to human rights group Amnesty International, many of them victims of human trafficking.

Many of the mainly East European women are smuggled across the Egyptian border, often on the underside of camels, according to the watchdog.

The four women have been handed over to the Russian embassy in Cairo pending deportation, the security source said.
Women

Russian women brutally murdered and washed up on the shores of Sliema on Women's Day!

2007-03-12T09:00:00.000-04:00

Tackling the real problems

To witness the Attorney General actually appealing, as reported in the media last Saturday, a judgement in which 31 women were recently cleared of controversial charges in connection with lap dancing is actually just another sign that our very creaky system of law and order is cranky, is not reading the signs of the times, or more precisely the lapses of justice which are quite simply disgusting the thinking educated public.

Week after week sexual abusers in this country are let off with all manner of suspended sentences. Only a tiny minority of them ever get to our courts anyway. When they do their identity is protected, so we do not know if we live near them, if they teach our kids at school, if they give religious doctrine lessons.

What message does that send to parents of children who are abused and to the children themselves? Don’t report anything, that's what, because as the victims you will feel you are on trial and not the abuser.

Why isn't the AG and, more importantly, the political authorities, prodding the courts to review, rescind and otherwise redo these ridiculous judgments as far as sexual abuse, especially on children, is concerned? Why are we so concerned with Russian dancers? Are they really the Eves of this country? What about the Adams? Would these Russian dancers posing as actresses, models or whatever, but very often refugees of a sort looking for a better life including sometimes a Maltese husband and kids, be here without the trade Maltese men are exploiting in them. It's the men, the Adams, who often bring them here anyway.

To also have one of these Russian women (although we do not know if she too was a dancer?) brutally murdered and washed up on the shores of Sliema on Woman's Day no less was just a sure indicator that we would be better off celebrating Eve's Day than Woman's Day in this country.

Emancipation of women is not just about the numbers of women in paid employment, the EU targets for our lives which are written by people with all the comforts plus, plus in the world. It’s just as much and more about getting rid of the Eve syndrome which is drummed into us from and early age, whether we are Maltese women or Russian women for that matter.

This is a country where women are stupid, in one sense at least. They are always battling each other. How many men I know sigh wearily and tell me how they can't understand the endless bitching and infighting that goes on between many Maltese women. In a country with a Catholic Arab culture like ours women are easily replaceable by younger models. Girls who are sweet are the most admired. Do we admire sweet men in quite the same way? I don't think so. For sweet, in most cases, read dumb, unquestioning and compliant.

Maltese men are turning to Russians, whether to simply watch them dance, whether to bed them when their wives turn away from them at night, or sometimes even as partners because their attitude to their men is more similar to their mother’s. There is a willingness to indulge, to pacify, to be the wife in every old fashioned sense of the word.

Now before I get a load of emails about this there are obviously a minority of educated thinking Russian women who have nothing to do with my description (including of the term Russian), but they are a minority and there is no point in getting upset about remarks that do not pertain to you or your very educated and I am sure lovely in every sense Russian wife or partner.

If we in Malta are serious about morality let us start by nailing the thousands of men who physically and mentally bully their wives (and sometimes the other way round). Let us come down very hard on paedophilia. Let us be very, very worried about the internet and the easily accessible sex and access to sexual predators. If necessary, close these clubs which are floating between a bad world and a harmless one and set up licensed brothels where Maltese wives and girlfriends can at least be sure their errant husbands are using a condom.

Let's not criminalise some peroxide blonde dancers or whatever. Let’s not waste police time and time in our courts treating the symptom and not the cause. Let us protect our children from getting too sexualised too young, which is happening in many, many Maltese families with kids, dads and some mums locked into porn sites. Some of these Russians dancers who were pompously charged looked like blonde versions of our average Paceville loving teenage children to me, did you notice?
by Marisa Micallef
marisaml@onvol.net

Egyptian police seize 4 Russian women trying to sneak into Israel

2007-03-12T08:57:00.001-04:00

Four young Russian women have been caught trying to sneak across the Sinai desert border between Egypt and Israel, police said Monday.

Captain Mohammed Badr of North Sinai police said that after their arrest on Sunday the women told their interrogators they had paid thousands of dollars to smugglers to take them into Israel where they planned to find work.

"The smugglers got them to wear garments of the local Bedouin tribes. When police spotted the group, they fired into the air and the smugglers fled, leaving the women near the border's barbed wire fence," Badr said.

The four women, all in their 20s, had entered Egypt as tourists.

Human traffickers smuggle about 200 people from Egypt into Israel each year, according to the Israeli group Physicians for Human Rights. The U.S. State Department has accused Israel of not doing enough to stop human trafficking.

Egypt and Israel have frequently accused each other of not doing enough to prevent smuggling across their long desert border, which runs from the Mediterranean to the Red Sea.

Members of the Bedouin tribes in Egypt's Sinai Peninsula are known to take part in smuggling weapons, drugs and people into Israel and the Gaza Strip.

By The Associated Press

Media portrays Russian women as sex workers

2007-03-12T08:53:00.000-04:00

Conference by Israel Women's Network claims media wrongly represents Russian women in Israel as prostitutes. Organization also claims women underrepresented in media positions, political debates

Women emigrants from the former Soviet Union are mostly portrayed as prostitutes by the Israeli media, a new study revealed Sunday.

Statistics presented at a conference on the media's affect on the image and status of women in Israel, held by the Israel Women's Network, showed that the image of Russian-speaking female immigrants in the media has not changed over the last 10 years.

"Most of the appearances of Russian women immigrants in the media are related to the sex industry. It’s very sad that the media chooses to do this,” said Rina Bar-Tal, chairwoman and president of the Israel Women’s Network.

“Russian women have entered local politics, and no one mentions it, because it is more comfortable, and sexier, to deal with the issue of prostitution,” she said.

“I think there is a huge gap between reality and the picture the media is trying to paint,” Bar-Tal said.

Another claim brought up at the conference referred to the roles women played in various media outlets. According to the participants, men were still the ones holding key positions in the media.

The data showed that women comprised 30 percent of the workforce in television, and 25 percent in radio. These numbers have not changed in 10 years.

The conference also said that the absence of women from television and radio studios was particularly noticeable during the second Lebanon war. Women mostly participated in discussions on issues such as psychology, as opposed to debates on security and diplomatic issues.

The claim extended to female participation in media discussions in general, saying that women were usually interviewed on issues related to the home and child rearing, and not politics.
Yael Bernovsky Published: 03.12.07, 12:37 / Israel News

Is It Just Another Day in Life of Indian Woman?

2007-03-12T08:41:00.000-04:00

Asia-Pacific

The answer would be an emphatic YES for a large majority and may be a whispering no for a miniscule few. In most homes she would continue to eat last and least; continue to work longer hours doing more arduous, but largely unrecognised, work than her male counterpart and continue to be paid less.

She would continue to be a victim of rape, domestic violence and continue being denied basic human rights envisaging gender equality — rights which were officially endorsed by the UN way back in 1945 as part of an international agreement in Sanfrancisco.

A large percentage of them would not even know that the 8th of March, which is the IWD, commemorates her own survival against crushing odds and is an official recognition of several decades of her struggle for peace, justice and equality. This day was officially born in 1917, signifying a landmark victory for the striking Russian women in the form of acquiring voting rights despite stiff political opposition.

They were actually campaigning for 'bread and peace' during World War I in response to the death of 2 million Russian soldiers. Their strike began on the last Sunday of February 1917 according to Julian Calendar followed in Russia. On the Gregorian calendar the date was 8th March. Since then IWD is held annually by governments and women organisations in the form of large scale events that not only honour women's contribution to society but also remind them that sustained action is needed to ensure gender equality in all spheres.

Purple, Green and Gold are the present official colours of IWD. Purple stands for justice, dignity and self respect; green for hope and new life; gold for a new dawn.

Laudable words indeed. But for the average Indian woman these are dreams which she dare not dream, let alone realize. The patriarchal Indian society has always being characterised by its indifference towards the sufferings of the oppressed — whether it be a Harijan, a tonga pony or a woman. Even the official statistics is scary, to say the least (the real scenario is far worse). Of the 15 million girls born every year in India,about 25% percent before their 15th birthday.

Every 6th infant death is due to gender discrimination and it is estimated that the death of young girls exceeds that of boys by about 300,000 annually. This has led to a really skewed up female-male sex ratio of 93:100 where as in most other countries it is 105:100.

Women are subject to various forms of domestic violence throughout their lives and this largely goes unnoticed. Even the legal provisions created specifically to protect them have failed as democratic instruments to help in their empowerment. In most cases women are not even aware due to lack of education that such laws exist or they do not have the financial security/ social backing of their family members .

Woman suppression is rooted in Indian society — in tradition, in religious practice and in social norms, all of which favour the dominance of the male. The new millennium may have arguably seen a sea change in thoughts about women equality but the ingrained complexity of patriarchy in India is well known. And so though middle class elite fathers may show off their daughter's education and income with pride, they prefer to maintain the status quo in matters of social norms and expect her to do likewise.

Even for the glamorous woman achiever from a metro city, (what to talk about the illiterate village damsel) her choice and manner should be in deference to the male — be it her father, brother, husband or any other man in her life. Female rebellion is uncouth and bad mannered and hence a big NO-NO for women of decent (?)upbringing. So despite her professional degrees and her well groomed looks she continues to be brainwashed into accepting male dominance. She gives up her property/ inheritance rights in favour of her brothers.

She demurely agrees to be treated as a commodity, to be gifted away to the bridegroom through the demeaning but much venerated ritual of Kanya-daan — giving away of the bride in charity — in addition to carrying with her a lavish dowry. She even sacrifices her life for the sake of family honour. Honour killings of the females are still prevalent even in affluent families where the woman is killed by her own father/ brother if she dares to choose her own partner , or by her in laws if she fails to bring sufficient dowry. (Many such cases are reported almost daily in the newspapers and many more go unnoticed.)

She becomes a willing tool in abetting female infanticide by selectively and repeatedly aborting the female foetus.(despite a law banning them, such practices go unabated in private hospitals in the city) till she begets at least one son. This may seem a little less brutal (but is it?)than the cheaper option of suffocating/ trampling/poisoning the new born girl to death in the poor rural areas.

She professes her undying devotion for her spoilt and insensitive husband by fasting and praying for his long life and well being on 'Karva-Chauth' and 'Teej' in great style after being thrashed by him just the previous day or days. (I say this on the basis of first hand personal information). Wife beating in India seems to be on the rise, especially among the working professionals in metro cities.

I am, in no way trying to be pessimistic. I am being realistic, though the reality is frightening. Yes , there are some success stories too , which we need to celebrate on this day and every day. There are more professionally qualified women in the board rooms (where there were none earlier), in the judiciary and police services (which were thought to be male preserves). They are more visible in the political spectrum and they are even making their presence felt in international sports meets. They are driving trucks, taxis, trains, working at petrol pump stations, thus storming male bastions.

Yet , with the exception of a miniscule few,they are still not empowered to speak out their mind or exercise their choice, especially if it involves declining a man's proposal. And if they dare to do so like a Priyadarshini Mattoo (raped and murdered by her fellow law student because she spurned his advances) or a Jessica Lal (shot dead because she refused to serve drinks to a spoilt rich brat after the bar's closing hours) or a Meher Bhargava (shot dead for objecting to lurid advances towards her daughter in law by political goondas), they are made to pay for their sin of not obeying the male command with their lives.

These incidents involved affluent middle class women whose cause was taken up by the media and corporate big wigs.There are innumerable women from the other not-so-visible part of India, away from the media highlights, who become victims of such and other atrocities everyday and die unsung and unwept for. So as the glossy magazines, TV hosts and drawing room smokers usher yet another IWD, idolising the new Indian woman as a super-mom, efficient manager, glamorous multi tasker, let HER celebrate these well deserved accolades but not get swept away by them. Let her achievements not merely start at her streaked hair and end at her strutting pencil heels. It is time again for her to reflect and renew her fight against gender biases and inequalities. Let her not fritter away her precious time in (as Germaine Greer had aptly said) acquiring things that are no longer worth having. She needs to be proud of her womanhood and not apologetic about it. She needs to be aware of her rights and gather the courage to truthfully exercise her conscious choices. And she needs to spread this pride, this awareness and this courage amongst her not so privileged sisters.

It is said that‘well behaved women seldom make history.' And rightly so. So all ye women of India please come out of your cocoons of golden cages, shed your martyr image and unite in this common cause. We need Angry Young Women to once again burn the bra and bust the silicon bust and usher the golden dawn from behind the dark and ominous eastern sky.

Special Contribution
By Shobha Shukla

Ms. Shobha Shukla has been teaching Physics at India's noted Loreto Convent, and has been writing for The Hindustan Times and Women's Era in the past. She can be contacted at shobha1shukla@yahoo.co.in)

why do women celebrate March 8?

2007-03-11T20:24:00.000-04:00

SEVERAL questions have been bugging in the minds of the majority especially when it comes to women issues, one of which is: why do women celebrate March 8?

It's a long story, actually. The idea of an International Women's Day first arose at the turn of the century, which in the industrialized world, was a period of development and uproar, booming population growth and radical ideologies.

It started in 1909 when, the first National Woman's Day was observed across the United States on 28 February.

In 1910, the Socialist International, meeting in Copenhagen, established a Women's Day, international in character, to honor the movement for women's rights and to assist in achieving universal suffrage for women.

In 1911, as a result of the decision taken at Copenhagen the previous year, International Women's Day was marked for the first time (19 March) in Austria, Denmark, Germany and Switzerland, where more than one million women and men attended rallies.

In addition to the right to vote and to hold public office, they demanded the right to work, to vocational training and to an end to discrimination on the job.

It was in 1917, with 2 million Russian soldiers dead in the war, Russian women chose the last Sunday in February to strike for "bread and peace." Political leaders opposed the timing of the strike, but the women went on anyway.

The rest is history: Four days later the Czar was forced to abdicate and the provisional government granted women the right to vote. That historic Sunday fell on 23 February on the Julian calendar then in use in Russia, but on 8 March on the Gregorian calendar in use elsewhere.

In 1975, the United Nations designated March 8 as celebration of women's achievement, and declared the whole month of March as International Women's Month.

When women on all continents, often divided by national boundaries and by ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic and political differences, come together to celebrate their Day, where they can look back to a tradition that represents at least nine decades of struggle for equality, justice, peace and development.

But what actually gave rise to the value of celebrating a woman's day was the tragic Triangle Fire in New York City which took the lives of more than 140 working girls, most of them Italian and Jewish immigrants, on March 25, 1911.

The Triangle Shirtwaist Company, owned by Max Blanck and Isaac Harris, occupied the top three floors of the ten-story Asch building in New York City at the intersection of Greene Street and Washington Place, just east of Washington Square. The company employed approximately 500 workers, mostly young Italian and Eastern European immigrant women, some of whom were as young as twelve or thirteen, who worked fourteen-hour shifts during a 60-hour to 72-hour workweek, sewing clothes for a wage of $1.50 per week.

The conditions of the factory were typical of the time. Flammable textiles were stored throughout the factory, smoking was common, illumination was provided by open gas lighting, and there were no fire extinguishers.

In the afternoon of March 25, 1911, a fire began on the eighth floor. Either a lighted match or a cigarette started the fire.

To this day, no one knows whether it was accidental or intentional. The workers on the tenth floor were alerted and most on those two floors were able to evacuate. However word of the fire did not reach the ninth floor in time.

The ninth floor had only two doors leading out. One stairwell was already filling with smoke and flames by the time the seamstresses realized the building was ablaze.

The other door had been locked, ostensibly to prevent workers from stealing materials or taking breaks and to keep out union organizers.

The single exterior fire escape soon collapsed under the weight of people trying to escape. The elevator also stopped working, cutting off that means of escape.

Realizing there was no other way to avoid the flames, some of the women broke windows and jumped to the ground nine floors below.

Others pried open the elevator doors and tumbled down the elevator shaft. The remainder waited until smoke and fire overcame them.

The fire department arrived quickly but was unable to stop the flames, as there were no ladders available that could reach beyond the sixth floor. The death toll was 146.

The company's owners, Max Blanck and Isaac Harris, had fled to the building's roof when the fire began and survived. They were later put on trial, but the jury acquitted the owners.

In protest of the result of the trial, tens of thousands marched in silence in New York City to mourn the deaths of the 146 textile workers who had no choice but to burn to death or to leap out of the blazing inferno.

The outpouring of sorrow and anger was such today, the silent parade is commemorated as International Women's Day.

But those fires that raged on the 8th floor and other floors of the new York's Tirangle Shirt Factory still rage today, in the hearts of marginalized women, and in the minds of victims of domestic violence where violence remains a universal weapon employed to brutalize women.

For as long as the double standard burden morality will pit women against men in a gender war where there are no winners, then women must keep alive the fires that raged on the 8th floor 96 years ago.

For comments and reactions e-mail me at coi_416@hotmail.com.
Cole: The fire on the 8th floor
By Eldred D. Cole
Shespeak

Iraqis rely on tangled web of online dating

2007-03-11T10:21:00.000-04:00

Before the war, introductions of young men and women were frequently arranged by families, but today even relatives and close friends find it difficult to get together.

For Ali and Noura, love blossomed in an Internet chat room. Both were young, educated, devout Sunni Muslims who shared a passion for Jim Carrey movies and Arabic love tunes. For months, they chatted online obsessively. As the friendship deepened, she shyly agreed to a Webcam meeting.

But their relationship was doomed from the start: He lives in a quiet, middle-class neighborhood of east Baghdad, Iraq; she is across the Tigris River in the city’s war-torn west. It was out of the question that they should ever meet.

“It seemed like a pointless relationship,” says Ali, who now refers to Noura as “my ex-Internet girlfriend.” He stopped responding to her messages and she eventually stopped sending them.

“She must be angry,” he says, looking slightly embarrassed as he leans forward to stub out a cigarette. “Maybe if we could have been alone together, it would have been different.”

Young Iraqis, trapped in their homes in the mean streets of this bloodstained capital, are increasingly turning to the Internet to chat with relatives, hang out with friends and search for love.

Such virtual relationships offer a refuge of sorts from numbing isolation and fear during a time of staggering violence. But all too often they are mirages – a seductive reminder of a life now tantalizingly out of reach for most.

“They are like birds in a cage,” says Anas Attar, 22, one of a growing number of businessmen cashing in on the demand by selling access to their satellite-based Internet connections.

In Iraq, like many other Muslim countries, it has always been difficult for young men and women to spend time together. Introductions were frequently arranged by families and closely chaperoned. Many couples from more privileged backgrounds met at university, which was often the first time they attended a coed school. But they were rarely allowed to be alone together unless they were engaged.

As Iraq’s civil war has deepened, even close relatives and friends have found it hard to get together.

Reem, a striking 28-year-old with long dark hair, heavy makeup and lots of gold jewelry, used to meet regularly with a tight-knit group of college girlfriends. They would picnic in the park, go shopping and gossip at one another’s homes.

She hasn’t seen some of them for two years now. Many have fled the country. Those who remain venture outdoors only when they must.

Depressed and with too much time on her hands, Reem started posting love poems on an Internet forum for young Iraqis. Soon she was getting inquiries from lonely young men, with whom she chats about current events and vacations outside Iraq.

A civil servant who was afraid to give her last name, Reem isn’t interested in meeting any of them, but she enjoys the unfettered conversations that are possible only online.

“It’s very interesting to get to know a man away from the constraints of culture and tradition,” she says. “They console me and tell me there will be a day when this mess will end.”

Across the Middle East, more and more young people are doing the same thing. In Iraq, there are few other ways for them to interact.

Universities are becoming increasingly conservative, frowning on too much contact between male and female students. Many of the old hangouts – restaurants, cafes, parks, social clubs – are closed. At the end of the workday, Baghdad residents hurry home to beat the curfews and the approaching darkness.

Ali Azawi, a tall, polished medical student from a well-to-do Baghdad family, was beginning to despair of ever having a girlfriend when he started trawling Arabic-language chat rooms and found Noura.

He composed a brief introduction, which he copied and pasted over and over for hours before getting a response: “My name is Ali, age 23. I live in Baghdad. I am looking for a young, beautiful woman.”

Noura first approached him under a pseudonym – “Abbas” – which he says conjured up images of a large, oafish man.

She wanted to know what he did for a living and to which Muslim sect he belonged. Reassured by his answers, she revealed that she was a 24-year-old woman who taught English at a primary school a few blocks from her home.

They chatted for months, swapping jokes and music downloads and sharing the details of their lives on opposite sides of Baghdad.

Six months later, they still hadn’t met. And he had lost hope of ever bridging the few miles of real estate that divided them.

Azawi envies the ease of relationships in the United States.

“You have the bar, the streets, the freedom and no religion to judge you,” he says. In Iraq, “it is a fight for the heart.”

Dozens of private providers also offer wireless connections to satellite-based hubs, bypassing the country’s notorious phone lines.

In troubled parts of the capital, some Internet cafes have received threats and closed. Militants accuse them of spreading pornography and providing a means to contact the U.S. military.

In Karada, a relatively safe neighborhood of east Baghdad, university students in jeans and baseball caps tap busily at dozens of computers in a converted house tiled in blue and white faux marble. Framed Quranic verses hang on the wall, and there are sodas in a fridge and a television set playing in the corner. But most of the overwhelmingly male customers stare intently at their screens.

“All they do is chat, chat, chat,” says owner Yousef Abdulla, 25, a computer sciences major who opened the Shirifi Internet Cafe three years ago. “They have the opportunity to expand their horizons with this portal and get whatever information they want about anything, but all they are interested in is chatting – especially with girls.”

By Alexandra Zavis, Los Angeles Times

⇒ Go to nashuatelegraph.com's forums

A stark reminder on Woman’s Day

2007-03-11T08:51:00.000-04:00

by Daphne Caruana Galizia

Woman’s Day began in Malta with the starkest possible reminder of what it is all about: the corpse of a young woman, floating in the sea off Sliema, with a garbage bag wrapped round her head. Of one thing we can be sure – that it wasn’t her mother who killed her. Of another thing we can be less sure but almost certain – that she was killed by a man and that there was sex involved. She either died during one of those nasty sex games that involve near-suffocation – which isn’t likely given that she was fully dressed – or she was killed because she became inconvenient. The news that she was Russian was not surprising. It only served to confirm her vulnerability, and the reason why she was thought of as an entirely disposable commodity rather than a living breathing human being. To be a Maltese woman is difficult enough. To be a Russian woman in Malta is much worse, because you are a thing and not a person.

Woman’s Day is not a celebration to be marked with flowers and fine speeches about the value of women in society. Like Children’s Day, it is there to remind us that the social perception of women and children as chattels, inferior beings and disposable commodities, who can be abused and then done away with, continues throughout the world. Even beneath the thin veneer of civilisation and democracy you will find this kind of thinking and behaviour. It isn’t just about the extreme situations in India and rural China. It is about how women are objectified even in the west, where a strange discrepancy has developed: some women are things, but others are not. The women who are not things are those considered by men (and their mothers) to be worthy of respect: in other words, women who are their own kind, according to their definition. Others – alien women from far-off lands, women from further down the social scale, prostitutes, lap-dancers, women in menial jobs – are disposable commodities, barely human. They are the whores, to be treated as such.

Children end up in this situation too: used and abused, physically and sexually, and then killed and dumped. The common factor is vulnerability. Children are always vulnerable without a strong and loving mother to protect them, but women are vulnerable only when they have no money of their own, little education, and insecure legal status. That puts them at the mercy of a man, or men, which is the very worst place to be if he is the wrong kind. How did this 25-year-old Russian girl, somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister, perhaps even somebody’s mother, end up in the sea off a Maltese beach, dead with a rubbish-bag around her head? It doesn’t take much imagination to work that one out. Even before the police announced that she was Russian, most people had already made that assumption, or taken it for granted. Subconsciously, we sense the ugliness beneath the surface of our society, even if we are unaware of it on the surface.

The police have said that people are being held for questioning, and that they cannot give out more information because “of the delicate nature of the case”. Delicate? I’m sure that was a mistranslation of the Maltese word ‘delikat’, and what was really meant was that this is a sensitive case. There’s nothing remotely delicate about it. It has ugly overtones of violence and of contempt for women, or rather, for a certain kind of woman. It tells us what we would rather not know – that’s Malta’s seedier side, the side that has made Maltese men prime movers in the sex industry in London, has never gone away. Maltese men divide women into madonnas and whores. Those they classify as whores are barely human in their eyes. They are there to be exploited, spat upon, and regarded with contempt.

I hope that whoever did this isn’t at this very moment having Sunday lunch with his wife or his mother, the madonnas in his life.

* * *

This murder in the early hours of Woman’s Day should remind us that Russian women are human beings, not sub-human creatures. It’s not odd that I should say that; there actually are people around who have objectified these women, either because they regard them as a threat (other women) or because they think of them as talking vaginas (men). I am sickened by the way that Maltese women talk about Russi, a category which encompasses women from all parts of the former Soviet bloc, and the way that Maltese men regard them as sexual objects, there to take them to the far reaches of depravity which, in their Maltese Roman Catholic narrow-minded repression, they have only dreamed about as forbidden activity.

Occasionally there will be a letter in the newspapers, from some woman or other who thinks that all Russi should be rounded up and deported because they pose a threat to Maltese families. I find myself strongly tempted to reply that any husband who runs around shagging other women, be they Russian or otherwise, isn’t worth having, still less worth fighting other women for. What’s the point in having a man like that around, exactly? I’ve never quite got it, unless it’s the reasoning that any man is better than none, which has the stink of desperation about it. I want to tell these women: “Look at your husband, for God’s sake. He’s the shape of a pillow with a belt around the middle. He’s lost his hair. His face looks like a piece of jaundiced pork. He’s got dandruff on his shoulders. He dresses like he’s just pulled his clothes out of a bin. He’s boring, ill-educated, pompous and irritating. He’s the wrong side of middle age. He’s not even remotely sexually attractive. However much you might love him, you’ve got to have eyes in your head. Yet the woman he’s run off with is 28 years old, beautiful and well-educated. What does that tell you? That she’s so desperate she will do anything to survive. So pity her. Having sex with him must disgust her, but she feels she has no other choice.”

The trouble is that many women here don’t know what it means to be so vulnerable. They have been comfortable all their lives in their little golden cages. They are unable to feel sympathy for young beautiful women who are obliged to have sex with hideous aging men with bad breath and slobbering saliva so as to keep from going under. They are unable to feel anger at the ones who are taken out of their country under false pretences then kept in Malta as white slaves, forced to have sex with one man after another every day – ugly, horrible men who disgust them – frightened that they might be found out and deported, terrified that they might be killed for trying to go to the police. They don’t do it because they want to, for heaven’s sake. They do it because they have to. What woman, given a choice, would want to prance around naked being poked and prodded by a bunch of leery, drooling, drunken men? This doesn’t occur to the men, who are notoriously prone to believing that they are desirable, but it should occur to grown-up women with brains between their ears. Every woman’s worst nightmare is being forced to have sex with a man who really, really, disgusts and repels her. Well, some women are threatened into doing it several times a day until they can get away, or are killed.

* * *

Also on Woman’s Day, the newspapers carried a report from the Law Courts, in which a man was given a suspended sentence and fined Lm200 for using his cheap hotel as a brothel. He kept two Russian women, brought them several men every day, or took them to men’s houses, charged the men Lm15 and gave the women Lm5. As a friend pointed out, just 20 f**ks and he’s paid his fine. True, if he’s found guilty of the same crime again within the next two years, he goes to jail for four years – but he should have gone to jail in the first place. This is a serious crime. Boys have been sent to jail for the theft of a handbag or a car stereo, and this person has got off with a tiny fine and a suspended sentence.

No mention was made of the circumstances in which the women were kept, how they got there, whether they had their passports and the freedom to leave, whether they were being threatened. It was as though the women were there of their own free will, for fun, because they liked having sex with lots of different men for Lm5 a go, being taken to strangers’ houses and passed around from pr**k to pr**k, being used as the prodding attraction at men’s weekends and stag nights. When not even the Law Courts respect the dignity and value of women as human beings, what can we expect from the rest of society?

These should have been our thoughts for Women’s Day, as that sodden corpse of a young woman was dragged from the sea.

Russian women: Breadwinners at home, outcasts in politics

2007-03-09T18:08:00.000-05:00

MOSCOW - Russian women often think to themselves that although the constitution grants equal rights to women and men, in real life their opportunities are very unequal.

Not many women in Russia are feminists - they tend to lean toward patriarchal views and way of life. But life itself compels them to reproach men. Sociologists talk about "gender asymmetry" with good reason.

On average, women earn only 70 percent of men's salaries, and get 40 percent to 50 percent of their pensions. For a long time, they have been doomed to low-paid spheres - health care, education and culture. It is no surprise that women working two or three jobs at the same time has become a typically Russian phenomenon.

Women are more flexible than men on the jobs market; they are keener on getting new qualifications, and are better at dealing with challenges. In the estimate of the Romir Monitoring research holding, 43 percent of women are interested in their careers as compared with 54 percent of men.

As a result, more than half of managers at different levels are women, concludes Irina Gorbulina, president of the Russian Business Academy. But Russian women are well aware of the "glass ceiling" - an artificial career limit on the grounds of sex, says Yelena Zelinskaya, vice president of Mediasoyuz.

She believes that women's participation in politics is "barely visible under the microscope." Valentina Matviyenko, the current governor of St. Petersburg, and Galina Karelova supervised the ministries in charge of social issues in the early 21st century. But they have been the most brilliant women in the government in recent times.

Russia ranks 80th in the world in the ratio of female members of the parliament's lower chamber (10 percent). Women occupy a meager 5 percent of seats in the upper chamber.

There are no women among leaders of major political parties, except Irina Khakamada, who was one of the leaders of the Union of Right Forces, a liberal opposition party, and later on started her own party. There are only 20 percent women among the 126 members of the Public Chamber, which was set up as an institute of civil society.

Senior research associate of the Russian Academy of Sciences' Institute of Comparative Political Studies Svetlana Aivazova points out that women's negligible role in politics has absolutely clear consequences.

For most women, politics is an alien domain; their political behavior is driven by inertia, and they tend to "live according to someone else's values, and to make their choices based on emotions rather than reason," she explains. This has led to a number of social problems, concludes Aivazova.

Alexandra Ochirova, chairwoman of the Russian Public Chamber on social development, agrees that without promoting women to positions of power, the government will not be able to cope with its national projects, the four key areas of social and economic development, which are designed to make major changes in healthcare, education, housing and agriculture.

As for non-government organizations established and run by women, there were hundreds of them at a national level in the late 1990s. Three-fifths of such NGOs defend the rights of women, soldiers and children.

The second place belongs to the associations that focus on education for women, ensuring they have the training and qualifications to diminish discrimination in the jobs market. Educational, charity and business organizations come next. But no matter how many public and government agencies deal with discrimination against women, the gender asymmetry does not go away.

But equal rights are increasingly gaining a foothold in the family. More often than not, spouses share household chores together, which is hardly a surprise considering that many women make more money than their husbands. The growing education level also contributes to promoting democracy in the family. Fifty-eight percent of all university students are girls.

Although young people tend to be career-minded and believe it is best to get married at 27-29 (rather than 22-24 as they used to), a mere 8 percent of young women have said that are not planning to have children after marriage.

Valentina Tereshkova was the world's first female cosmonaut; revolutionary and feminist Alexandra Kollontai was the first female ambassador; Russian women have reached the acme of perfection in poetry and science (there are 40 women among members of the Russian Academy of Sciences today).

But they have one more major achievement to their credit - incredible patience with which they carry the burden of gender imbalance.

---

ABOUT THE WRITER
Editorial
Posted on Fri, Mar. 09, 2007email thisprint this

By Olga Sobolevskaya

RIA Novosti

(MCT)

Olga Sobolevskaya is a commentator for the Russian News and Information Agency Novosti; Web site: http://en.rian.ru/. The Washington Bureau of RIA Novosti can be reached by phone at (202) 328-3238, fax (202) 328-0137, or e-mail: novosti@comcast.net.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and may not necessarily represent those of RIA Novosti.

International Women’s Day has come a long way, yet liberation is still elusive

2007-03-08T20:18:00.000-05:00

International Women’s Day has come a long way since its inception in 1908. Governments recognize it. Numerous groups, unions and international bodies continue its mission.

The United Nations International Women’s Day theme this year is Ending Impunity for Violence Against Women and Girls. Violence against women is a major cause of death and disability for women aged 16 to 44 years — as serious a threat as cancer and a greater cause of ill heath than traffic accidents and malaria combined, according to the UN.

Rep. Jan Shakowsky (D-Ill.) has submitted a resolution in the House (HR 149) with more than 80 cosponsors calling on the U.S. government to support the goals of International Women’s Day, including ending discrimination and violence against women and girls, and pursuing “policies that guarantee the basic human rights of women and girls both in the United States and in other countries.”

This April, the Women’s International Democratic Federation is holding its 14th Annual Congress in Venezuela. Women from around the world, including the U.S., will be organizing, communicating and mobilizing around the effects of free trade and wars on women, the struggle for a world free of violence against women and girls, and building greater economic and political rights for women.

A brief history

International Women’s Day — like May Day — is a world holiday tied to the struggle against oppression and exploitation. And it’s a day that was born out of class and social struggles in the U.S.

On March 8, 1857, women from textile and clothing factories in New York City staged a protest over poor working conditions and pay. Although attacked by the police and press for stepping out of traditional bounds, these garment workers continued their struggle and formed a union two years later.

Many such protests and organizing rallies took place in the following years, carried out by women workers and their allies calling for justice in the work place. On March 8, 1908, 20,000 to 30,000 women marched in the bitter cold through New York City demanding shorter hours, better pay and voting rights.

The first International Women’s Day was celebrated on Feb. 28, 1908, following a call from the Socialist Party of America to honor women. On that day demonstrations took place calling for the vote and economic rights for women.

In 1910, an international women’s conference held in Copenhagen called by the Socialist International established International Women’s Day. The following year, more than a million women and allies rallied around the world.

Horribly, soon thereafter in 1911, the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire in New York killed over 140 mostly immigrant women workers, forever linking the image of that tragedy with the demands for justice called for on International Women’s Day (IWD).

Adding peace

Although the struggle of women workers for political and economic rights is the foundation of IWD, the conflagration of World War I and all ensuing wars has added the struggle for peace.

During the early years of WWI, on or around March 8, women held rallies around the world either to protest the war or to express solidarity with their sisters affected by the war.

In 1917, with two million Russian husbands and sons dead, Russian women struck for “bread and peace” on what was March 8 on the Gregorian calendar (Feb. 23 on the Julian calendar).

This call for peace contributed, no doubt, to the fall of the czar and the Russian monarchy four day later. Continuing calls for peace, including the elimination of nuclear weapons, has been an integral part of IWD celebrations and the international women’s movement ever since.

Cold War casualty

International Women’s Day was lost in the U.S. during the early years of the Cold War, but was invigorated in the 60s and 70s with the flowering of the women’s equality movement. The United Nations began celebrating IWD in 1975 during the International Year of the Woman.

Still struggling for liberation

As we celebrate International Women’s Day in 2007, let us recognize the successes and new allies while at the same time seeing we have a ways to go.

In the U.S., reproductive rights continue to be under vicious assault by the radical right. Women still make only 77 percent of what men do for the same job.

The 1996 Welfare Reform Act, which eliminated a crucial social safety net for women and their children, has led to the growth of poverty. By 2002 one in 10 former welfare recipients in seven Midwest states had become homeless even though they were now employed in the low wage jobs.

Universal child care remains off the political agenda.

There are new groups involving young women, grannies, women of color, moms and working women who are coming together with new ideas, new ways of communicating, and new energy for these and many other issues confronting us this International Women’s Day.

Carolyn Trowbridge chairs the Women’s Equality Commission of the Communist Party.

Archive Recent Editions 2007 Editions March 10, 2007
Author: Carolyn Trowbridge
People's Weekly World Newspaper, 03/08/07 14:20

Today we celebrate International Women’s Day 2007.

2007-03-08T13:59:00.000-05:00

This is a day commemorated for over 100 years to embrace the achievements of women everywhere. The first National Women’s Day was celebrated in America in 1909 in accordance with a declaration by the Socialist Party of America and was observed across the US on 28th February and thereafter each year until 1913. During this time, an International Women’s Day of no fixed date was proposed in Copenhagen in 1911.

On this day the event was honoured by Austria, Denmark, Switzerland and Germany. Between 1913 and 1914, on the eve of World War 1 and campaigning for peace, Russian women observed their first international women’s day in the last Sunday of February in 1913. From 1918 to 1999, International Women's Day has grown to become a global day of recognition and celebration across developed and developing countries alike.

For many years the United Nations has held an annual IWD conference to coordinate international efforts for women's rights and participation in social, political and economic processes. 1975 was designated as 'International Women’s Year' by the United Nations.

As stated by the website, www.internationalwomensday.com “Women's organisations and governments around the world have also observed IWD annually on 8 March by holding large-scale events that honour women's advancement and while diligently reminding of the continued vigilance and action required to ensure that women's equality is gained and maintained in all aspects of life.”

IWD is now an official holiday in Armenia, Russia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan and Vietnam. The tradition sees men honouring their mothers, wives, girlfriends, colleagues, etc with flowers and small gifts. In some countries IWD has the equivalent status of Mother's Day where children give small presents to their mothers and grandmothers.

In fact, throughout the world today, thousands of events are held in honour of women and this important day in our calendar. Women have suffered for years and have come a long way from the inequalities in the yesteryear right up till the mid to late 1900s.

Many women have marched to gain basic human rights such as the ability to vote, earn a decent wage and be employed. Unfortunately, we still see a divide today where men are paid more in the work place and women are often passed over for promotion. We should rejoice in the fact that women have the power to create life and also the intelligence to work. Many more women are studying these days and have successful high flying careers.

Many events take place all around the world, and should be supported by all. Well known super organisations such as google, HSBC and many more organise training events for their staff. It is crucial to make a difference and embrace this special day. If you know of anyone supporting this day then please support them. Show your solidarity as women and men, show your support for this worthy day.

Here are some links and websites you can try to find out more about International Women’s Day. www.internationalwomensday.com, www.un.org/events/women/iwd, http://www.guardian.co.uk/womensday.
Hülya ERDAL
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Yazarın tüm yazılarını görüntüle

8 Mart 2007, Perşembe Yorum Yaz Yazdır Arkadaşına Gönder

World: Women In Government Still Rarity In Many Countries

2007-03-08T13:56:00.000-05:00

RFE/RL -- If you had to guess which country out of Peru, Rwanda, Belarus, and France had the largest representation by women in parliament, which would it be?

The correct answer is Rwanda, where just under half the members in the lower house are women. In last place? France, where that figure drops to just 12 percent.

According to the Inter-Parliamentary Union (IPU), an international parliamentary organization that conducts an annual head count of female lawmakers, it's developing countries -- and not the so-called "old democracies" -- that are doing the most to ensure a fair gender balance in parliament.

Flowers On Women's Day

Among the last-place finishers in this year's IPU survey of 189 national parliaments, is Kyrgyzstan, which has no female lawmakers.

The situation hasn't gone unnoticed. Activists in the Kyrgyz capital Bishkek on March 6 presented male lawmakers with flowers, congratulating them ahead of International Women's Day on March 8. "We find that the women who are in parliament tend to bring a different kind of sensitivity and sensibility on social issues than men do, and as a result that tends to lead to legislation, budgets, and programs that are more gender-sensitive, and therefore better in many ways from a gender-equality point of view."

They would have preferred to give the flowers to female parliamentarians, the activists explained -- but since there were none, the men would have to do.

In an interview with RFE/RL's Kyrgyz Service, former lawmaker Jolbor Jorobekov bemoaned the situation -- but offered a clue to the mind-set behind it.

"Of course, it's very sad that there are no women in parliament, and very few in higher positions of power," he said. "I think if we hold new parliamentary elections in 2010 based on party lists, then we'll have some women in parliament. I'm personally opposed to giving a certain number of seats to women, or giving them an equal number [to those of the men]. I think a woman's main mission is raising children, bringing up a new, worthy generation. But to have some 10-20 percent of women [in parliament] would look natural."

The tongue-in-cheek gesture came on the same day that lawmakers took a small step toward improving the gender equation -- approving a woman, Aichurek Eshimova, as head of the country's Central Election Commission.

Eshimova, holding a congratulatory bouquet of her own, brusquely took the floor and told parliamentary deputies that she would do everything in her powers to ensure clean elections.

"The election commission will organize the elections, not the authorities," she said. "I have been working [as a commission member] for a long time, and I have been fighting against the involvement of the government administration [in the election process]."

Equal, But Toothless

From Rwanda at the top to Kyrgyzstan at the bottom, there are surprising trends in which countries do best at incorporating women into their lawmaking structures.

Belarus's president wants more women in parliament for their 'kindness' (epa file photo)For example, Cuba -- which just came under harsh criticism from the U.S. State Department for its human rights record -- is in eighth place. Women there hold 36 percent of the seats in its single-chamber parliament, the National Assembly of People's Power.

Then there is Belarus, which has been called the "last dictatorship in Europe." But with roughly 30 percent representation by women in both its lower and upper houses, it ranks higher (21st place) than many of its critics -- including Lithuania (32nd), Poland (48th), Canada (47th), and the United Kingdom (52nd).

Belarusian President Alyaksandr Lukashenka has said he would be happy to see as many as 40 percent of parliament seats held by women. In defending the need for more female lawmakers, however, he has praised not their intelligence or determination, but their "kindness."

Surprising Trend

"The region that is doing best right now -- and this will come as a surprise to many people -- is the Arab world and the [Persian] Gulf countries," IPU Secretary-General Anders Johnson notes.

"They are starting farther behind than any of the other regions. They [have] the longest way to go," he continues. "But they seem to take it in large strides. And the one country, for example, that had the largest gain this year -- with well over a 20 percent increase -- is the United Arab Emirates. So that is a positive sign."

There are still notable exceptions in that region. In Iran, where more than 30 female activists were arrested on March 4, women hold just 4.1 percent of parliament seats.

One of Kyrgyzstan's companions at the bottom of the IPU survey is Saudi Arabia, where women are still unable to vote, let alone run for election.

Another is Qatar. Women there can vote, but officials this year ruled out the introduction of a quota system to grant women a minimum number of parliament seats.

The Question Of Quotas

A quota system is often the essential first step toward quashing traditional notions that women and government don't mix. Both Iraq and Afghanistan, in creating their first postwar governments, reserved a certain portion of seats for female lawmakers.

Johnson says quotas break through those gender stereotypes -- and often lead to better, more equitable legislation. "We find that the women who are in parliament tend to bring a different kind of sensitivity and sensibility on social issues than men do, and as a result that tends to lead to legislation, budgets, and programs that are more gender-sensitive, and therefore better in many ways from a gender-equality point of view," he says.

Post-Soviet Rhetoric, Not Reality

One region that "could be doing better," according to Johnson, is the former USSR. There, Soviet rhetoric about the social and economic emancipation of women has not translated into gender parity in government.

Yuliya Tymoshenko is a powerful figure in Ukraine (epa file photo)Apart from Belarus (30 percent) and Moldova, where women hold 22 percent of parliament seats, CIS countries fare poorly.

In Russia, just 9.8 percent of seats in the State Duma, or lower house, are held by women. In the upper house, the Federation Council, that figure drops to just 3.4 percent.

In that case, the figures may reflect public antipathy toward women in power. A 2006 survey conducted by the Levada polling center showed that 56 percent of Russian men are "strongly opposed" to having a female president. Perhaps more surprisingly, one-fourth of Russian women feel the same way.

"The attitudes of the population, of politicians, of decision-makers, is to a large extent determined by a Soviet mentality -- behind which stand even more archaic values," says Boris Dubin, a Levada Center sociologist. "The population believes that having women in politics is not bad, provided they don't occupy leading posts. In the opinion of Russia's general public, and of a large number of politicians, a politician is a man of mature age, preferably ethnically Russian."

Even countries eager to demonstrate their enthusiasm for democratic progress and reform fall fairly low on the IPU survey. Georgia and Ukraine, for example, have just 9.4 and 8.7 percent female representation in parliament.

At the same time, however, those women who are in politics there are often extremely powerful -- for example, Georgian parliament speaker Nino Burdjanadze and former Ukrainian Prime Minister Yuliya Tymoshenko, who currently heads her own parliamentary bloc.

Other figures include:

-- Tajikistan: 62nd place, with 17.5 percent (lower house) and 23.5 percent (upper house);
-- Uzbekistan: tied for 62nd place, with 17.5 percent (lower house) and 15 percent (upper house);
-- Azerbaijan: 89th place, with 11.3 percent;
-- Kazakhstan: 95th place, with 10.4 percent (lower house) and 5.1 percent (upper house);
-- Armenia: 123rd place, with 5.3 percent.

The repressive Central Asian nation of Turkmenistan fares somewhat better, ranking 68th with 16 percent of its parliament seats held by women.

Practice What You Preach

That puts it just below the United States -- where women make up 16.3 percent in the House of Representatives and 16 percent of the Senate.

It also puts it far above France, which comes in 86th place, with women making up 12.2 percent of the National Assembly and 16.9 percent of the Senate.

Apart from Scandinavia and the Netherlands, which are among the highest-ranked countries on the IPU survey, Johnson says there are few "old democracies" doing anything to boost the role of women in government:

"The ones that we hold forth as being shining examples of what countries should be doing are very often the developing countries, be they in Latin America; in Africa; increasingly, as I say, in the Arab region as well," he says.

"And of course, the Nordic countries in particular have a long and good track record. We would like the old democracies -- starting with the United States, France, and some others -- to learn from these countries and practice [at home] what they preach in those countries."

Meanwhile, the countries of Southeastern Europe generally do better than those of the former Soviet Union, with the notable exceptions of Montenegro and Albania:

-- Bosnia-Herzegovina: 76th place, with 14.3 percent (lower house) and 6.7 percent (upper house);
-- Macedonia: 24th place, with 28.3 percent;
-- Croatia: 45th place, with 21.7 percent;
-- Serbia: tied with Poland for 48th place, with 20.4 percent;
-- Montenegro: 105th place, with 8.6 percent;
-- Albania: 114th place, with 7.1 percent.

(RFE/RL's Kyrgyz Service and RFE/RL correspondent Claire Bigg contributed to this report.)
By Daisy Sindelar

Russian women: breadwinners at home, outcasts in politics

2007-03-08T13:50:00.000-05:00

MOSCOW. (RIA Novosti commentator Olga Sobolevskaya) - As Russian women accept congratulations on the International Women's Day, 8th of March, they often think to themselves that although the Constitution grants equal rights to women and men, in real life their opportunities are very unequal.

Not many women in Russia are feminists - they tend to lean towards patriarchal views and way of life. But life itself compels them to reproach men. Sociologists talk about "gender asymmetry" with good reason. On average, women earn only 70% of men's salaries, and get 40%-50% of their pensions. For a long time, they have been doomed to low-paid spheres - healthcare, education and culture. It is no surprise that women working two or three jobs at the same time has become a typically Russian phenomenon.

Women are more flexible than men on the jobs market; they are keener on getting new qualifications, and are better at dealing with challenges. In the estimate of the Romir Monitoring research holding, 43% of women are interested in their careers as compared with 54% of men. As a result, more than half of managers at different levels are women, concludes President of the Russian Business Academy Irina Gorbulina. But Russian women are well aware of the "glass ceiling" - an artificial career limit on the grounds of sex, says Vice President of Mediasoyuz Yelena Zelinskaya.

She believes that women's participation in politics is "barely visible under the microscope." Valentina Matviyenko, the current governor of St. Petersburg, and Galina Karelova supervised the ministries in charge of social issues in the early 21st century. But they have been the most brilliant women in the government in recent times. Russia ranks 80th in the world in the ratio of female members of the parliament's lower chamber (10%). Women occupy a meager five percent of seats in the upper chamber. There are no women among leaders of major political parties, except Irina Khakamada, who was one of the leaders of the Union of Right Forces, a liberal opposition party, and later on started her own party. There are only 20% women among the 126 members of the Public Chamber, which was set up as an institute of civil society.

Senior research associate of the Russian Academy of Sciences' Institute of Comparative Political Studies Svetlana Aivazova points out that women's negligible role in politics has absolutely clear consequences. For most women, politics is an alien domain; their political behavior is driven by inertia, and they tend to "live according to someone else's values, and to make their choices based on emotions rather than reason," she explains. This has led to a number of social problems, concludes Aivazova. Chairperson of the Russian Public Chamber on social development Alexandra Ochirova agrees that without promoting women to positions of power, the government will not be able to cope with its national projects, the four key areas of social and economic development, which are designed to make major changes in healthcare, education, housing and agriculture.

As for non-government organizations (NGOs) established and run by women, there were hundreds of them at a national level in the late 1990s. Three fifths of such NGOs defend the rights of women, soldiers, and children. The second place belongs to the associations that focus on education for women, ensuring they have the training and qualifications to diminish discrimination in the jobs market. Educational, charity, and business organizations come next. But no matter how many public and government agencies deal with discrimination against women, the gender asymmetry does not go away.

But equal rights are increasingly gaining a foothold in the family. More often than not, spouses share household chores together, which is hardly a surprise considering that many women make more money than their husbands. The growing education level also contributes to promoting democracy in the family. 58% of all university students are girls. Although young people tend to be career-minded and believe it is best to get married at 27-29 (rather than 22-24 as they used to), a mere eight percent of young women have said that are not planning to have children after marriage.

Valentina Tereshkova was the world's first female cosmonaut; revolutionary and feminist Alexandra Kollontai was the first female ambassador; Russian women have reached the acme of perfection in poetry and science (there are 40 women among members of the Russian Academy of Sciences today). But they have one more major achievement to their credit - incredible patience with which they carry the burden of gender imbalance.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of RIA Novosti.

Remembering International Women’s Day 1917

2007-03-08T13:44:00.000-05:00

by Miriam Martin

Today is International Working Women's Day – originally instituted not as a day to celebrate, but as a day for militancy and action. Now many liberal institutions and feminist organizations recognize International Women's Day, but few acknowledge its roots or its historical significance. They have in fact attempted to remove the class content of this day of struggle.
The gains made for women by the Russian Revolution

It was in fact comrade Clara Zetkin at the second International Conference of Women Socialists in 1910 in Copenhagen who suggested that March 8 become International Working Women's Day and it was intended as a day to mobilize working class women against capitalism.

This is exactly the purpose it served ninety years ago today, when a mass demonstration of Petrograd women, led by a group of striking women textile workers, marched on the municipal Duma demanding bread. They called on their husbands and brothers to join them, and on International Women's Day (February 23rd by the old Russian calendar) 90,000 workers were on strike, demanding bread, an end to war, and down with the tsar and police. The great Russian revolution had begun. (For a detailed account of these events read Trotsky's History of the Russian Revolution.) The most important event in history, from a socialist point of view, was sparked off by Russian women workers.

The question of the position of women is of fundamental importance to Marxists. As the French utopian socialist Fourier asserted, the position of women in any social regime is a graphic indicator of the health of that regime.

On that criterion today's society on a world level is in a very bad state of health. In every part of the world without exception, women remain at least doubly burdened by unpaid domestic work and child-rearing as well as the need to go out and earn a living.

In much of the world, superstition and poverty deprive women of basic education and healthcare. Even in the supposedly advanced western world, the entry of women into the workforce has simply left us with this work in addition to our work in the home. It has meant that the bosses now pay each worker half as much, with the expectation that there will be two wage earners in each household.

Furthermore, without socialized domestic work and childcare, the right to divorce has meant that many women are now alone in supporting and raising their children – on these half-size earnings. All of the legal rights and "progressive" terminology gained by western women have had little practical impact on the lives of working class women in most countries in the world.

The historical connection between International Women's Day and the Russian revolution makes this an appropriate time to discuss some of the incredible gains made for women in the early days before Stalinist degeneration set in. It is all too easy (and convenient for the bourgeoisie) to write off the entire experience of the Soviets as a complete failure in which nothing positive was gained and certainly, there is nothing to learn. On the contrary! There is more to learn from the Russian revolution than from any other failed revolution, because it marks the first time in history that the working class successfully seized power and began organizing the running of society democratically for themselves.

Despite its later degeneration into Stalinism, many important gains were made in the Soviet Union. The efficiency and incredible productivity of the planned economy astonished everyone. The improvements for women in particular cannot be denied, and the rate at which the situation has regressed since the fall of the Soviet Union is equally telling.

"In a period of 50 years, the USSR increased its gross domestic product nine times over [...] The USSR had a balanced budget and even a small surplus every year [...] not a single Western government has succeeded in achieving this result" (Alan Woods' Introduction to Ted Grant's Russia: from Revolution to Counter-Revolution).

In tsarist times, laws permitted and encouraged a man to beat his wife; a women was legally an appendage of the household and "in some rural areas women were forced to wear veils and were prevented from learning to read and write". The soviets immediately passed a series of laws giving women formal equality (including the rights to live separately from one's husband and to be head of household; the right to divorce, to abortion, to paid maternity leave, and equal pay; the concept of illegitimate children was abolished).

Amazingly advanced as these were, again and again in his speeches and writing, Lenin asserted that this was not enough. The 1919 Programme of the Communist Party proclaimed: "Not confining itself to formal equality of women, the party strives to liberate them from the material burdens of obsolete household work by replacing it by communal houses, public eating places, central laundries, nurseries, etc" (Marxism and the emancipation of women, by Ana Muñoz and Alan Woods).

The early Soviet government provided "free school meals, milk for children, special food and cloth allowances for children in need" (Alan Woods' Introduction to Russia: from Revolution to Counter-Revolution). Pregnancy consultation centres and maternity homes replaced the dangerous potions and superstition of the babushkas - old women who had been widowed one too many times, had no place in tsarist society, and were forced to live as witches on the border of town.

Unbelievably, the life expectancy for women more than doubled from 30 years in tsarist times to 74 years by the 1970s, because of tremendous improvements in healthcare. By 1971, there were pre-school places for over five million children and 49% of students in higher education were women. "The only other countries in the world where women constituted over 40% of the total in higher education were Finland, France, and the United States". These figures alone confirm what the American socialist John Reed so eloquently put it in Ten Days that Shook the World:

"No matter what one thinks of Bolshevism, it is undeniable that the Russian Revolution is one of the greatest events in human history, and the rule of the Bolsheviki a phenomenon of worldwide importance."

The progressive reforms in the Soviet Union went hand in hand with the nationalized planned economy - in spite of the bureaucratic mismanagement. This is confirmed by the fact that all of the gains made by women in the Soviet Union have been clawed back since its collapse in 1991. "Not since the Dark Ages after the collapse of the Roman Empire has Europe seen such an economic catastrophe in peacetime" (Alan Woods' Introduction to Russia: from Revolution to Counter-Revolution).

Production plummeted by around 60% between 1990 and 1997. Unemployment for able-bodied people (something that capitalism depends on) was illegal in the Soviet Union and literally did not exist. Homelessness was unknown. Now both are skyrocketing. Unpaid wages and pensions, increasing prices, and devastating poverty have led to a rise in alcoholism. Incredibly, "the Russian population of 150 million now consumes substantially more vodka each year than the 280 million of the USSR in the late 1980s".

This generalized social decay has led to a drastic increase in domestic violence. "In 1993, 14,000 Russian women were murdered by their husbands or boyfriends - a figure 20 times higher than in the USA". For many Russian women, the only way out is some form of prostitution. The "lucky" ones are purchased as brides by rich westerners who, for reasons we can easily imagine, are unable to find themselves wives in the usual way.

We have no desire to make any apologies for Stalinism. It was a terrible distortion of socialism. It carried within it social differentiation, a bureaucracy that became more and more alien to the very system that the revolution had brought into being, and eventually created the conditions for a return to capitalism. However, it would be counter to the cause of international socialism to ignore the remarkable and unprecedented gains made possible by the nationalized and planned economy in Russia. To quote Alan Woods again:

"From a backward, semi-feudal, mainly illiterate country in 1917, the USSR became a modern, developed economy, with a quarter of the word's scientists, a health and educational system equal or superior to anything found in the West, able to launch the first space satellite and put the first man into space."

If this is what can be gained by a nationalized and planned economy under such poor conditions, imagine what would be possible today, with all the billions of dollars currently going into military spending and rich families' personal bank accounts. A nationalized economy under democratic workers' control would certainly prioritize an end to domestic slavery, making domestic work and child rearing paid work - not just for women of their own children, but as a fully funded, top-quality, public social service. This would free up time for women to be educated and participate fully in the running of society. Only under these conditions will we see sexism and inequality begin to whither away.

The women's question cannot be separated from the class question. The demands of those Russian women on International Working Women's Day in 1917 were finally met when the working class as a whole, women and men, came together to overthrow the hated Tsarist regime , and with it both capitalism and feudalism. It was the joint struggle of working women and men that led to the socialist revolution, which in turn laid the material basis for all those progressive reforms.

We can do this again today in the 21st century, but on a much higher level. There has been huge progress in technology and an amazing development of the productive forces since 1917. The only problem is that all this is controlled by a tiny minority of capitalists, who use their ownership of the means of production to generate profit for themselves to detriment of the overwhelming majority of the world population.

Our task is to rip the productive forces out of the hands of this decrepit and historically obsolete class and use them in a rational manner. In this way all the material conditions will be finally laid for the true emancipation of women, and they will stand equal to men in every sense of that word.
http://www.marxist.com/international-women...

New Internet ban for sex offenders

2007-03-07T18:38:00.001-05:00

Amid growing concern about child safety on the computer, New Jersey lawmakers are considering a measure to prohibit released sex offenders from using the Internet and to impose new rules for online dating sites.

International Women’s Day: A brief historical background

2007-03-07T18:35:00.000-05:00

International Women’s Day is celebrated each year on March 8 to primarily highlight the condition of women around the globe. Modern times have witnessed varied technological advancements.

Despite all the progress made so far, the condition of women continues to be largely deplorable. This year’s theme for the day is "Ending Impunity for Violence against Women and Girls".

The history of International Women’s Day dates back to the 19th century when on March 8, 1857, the women garment workers of New York protested against the appalling work environment and poor wages.

This step led to the formation of the first labour union of these women two years later when on 8 March 1908, 15000 women marched through the city for their demands. Their popular slogan, "Bread and Roses" symbolized financial security and better lifestyle. This resulted in the designation of the National Women’s Day on Feb 28. The first such day was celebrated in 1909.

In 1910 a socialist world conference was held in Denmark. It was this Socialist International Conference that proposed the creation of an International Women’s Day. German socialist Clara Zetkin suggested the same that was approved by the conference by consensus. Over 100 women from 17 countries unanimously agreed to the proposal. Three of these women were later elected to the Finnish Parliament.

In 1911, the Day was celebrated in Austria, Denmark, Germany and Switzerland on March 19. It was celebrated in February 1913 for the first time in Russia. And rallies were held throughout Europe to campaign against World War I in 1914.

World War I saw the death of over 2 million Russian soldiers. In February, 1917, Russian women began a strike for "Bread and Peace". The strike continued till the Czar was forced to relinquish his throne and the provisional government granted women the right to vote.

In 1975, during International Women's Year, the United Nations began celebrating March 8 as International Women's Day. Two years later, in December 1977, the General Assembly adopted a resolution proclaiming a United Nations Day for Women's Rights and International Peace to be observed on any day of the year by member states, in accordance with their historical and national traditions. For the United Nations, International Women's Day has been observed on 8 March since 1975.

Several years and several conferences later, we seem to have come a long way in the sense of some marginal improvement in the condition of women across the world. But sadly speaking, violence against women like rape and domestic abuse is fairly common in most countries. This year’s theme, "Ending Impunity for Violence against Women and Girls," will hopefully start some serious action to attain the desired objective as far as crime against women is concerned.

Feminism Takes a Different Form in Russia than in the West

2007-03-07T18:33:00.000-05:00

Still Seeking Equality
By Shaun Walker
Russia Profile

“The Soviet woman is a full and equal citizen of her country,” wrote Alexandra Kollontai, the Bolshevik activist and thinker who had been so influential on Soviet women and family policy in the early years after the 1917 revolution, in the twilight of her life in 1948. “In opening up to women access to every sphere of creative activity, our state has simultaneously ensured all the conditions necessary for her to fulfill her natural obligation - that of being a mother bringing up her children and mistress of her home,” she concluded.

Kollontai’s statement illustrated Soviet rhetoric well, but didn’t quite reflect the full picture of Soviet reality. The changes that thinkers such as herself had envisaged in the heady days after the revolution - the dissolution of bourgeois family ties and the communal rearing of children in nurseries, based on Engels’s theories of the socialization of household labor, which would allow women to devote themselves to work - never quite came about. But the early Soviet experience did have a profound effect on women and catapulted them into the labor force en masse. It also made sure that far more women were literate and educated. The historian Richard Stites has estimated that in 1926, 42 percent of Russian women could read, while by 1939 this figure had already rocketed to 83 percent.

As the 1930s went on, revolutionary rhetoric subsided, and while women did have far more opportunities, what would have previously been dubbed “bourgeois” notions of the family and motherhood came back into fashion, with the criminalization of abortion, exhortations to have multiple children, and support for the nuclear family. This created the so-called “double burden,” resulting in difficult lives for millions of women who effectively had to work two jobs, one in the home and one in the workplace - where they often were often employed to do unskilled and low-paying work.

Soviet Legacies

Understanding women in today’s Russia is impossible without an understanding of how the Soviet experience affected families and gender roles. At first sight, Russian women seem to be a bundle of paradoxes - family-oriented, yet often putting in long hours in the work place; accepting traditional ideas of femininity and happy to be the “weaker sex,” yet tough and ambitious.

Anyone coming across a babushka aggressively negotiating the metro, a corporate woman closing a deal, or a market trader standing in freezing temperatures for days on end might struggle to see this supposed feminine weakness. And Russians would be quick to tell you that this physical and psychological toughness is a product of their history. “It’s tradition - Russian women are hard workers,” said Nadezhda Azhgikhina, of Moscow State University, the Russian Union of Journalists, and a feminist writer who for several years edited the “Women” section of Nezavisimaya Gazeta, the only such section in any Russian daily. “After the Second World War, the Soviet economy had to be rebuilt. Many men had been killed, and those who came back were wounded and weak - it was the women who had to work hard. Now we have to reconstruct the economy after the collapse of the Soviet Union, and it’s the women doing the hard work again. Women were the first to find new jobs and act as the main breadwinners for families. But their needs are neglected.”

“Fifteen years ago, we were afraid that women would lose their jobs,” said Yelena Kochkina, a feminist writer and head of the Moscow Center for Gender Studies. “But instead, they worked illegally, took three or four jobs, worked in terrible conditions in markets and wherever they could find work, and coped better than men.”

Some of the difficulties faced by Russian women are similar to those of women living in male-dominated societies across the world. “The principal difficulties of women everywhere are very similar,” said Azhgikhina. “Women are looked at as second class citizens almost everywhere - even in Scandinavian countries where feminism has been an official concept of social democracy for decades, there is discrimination on a deep, unconscious level.”

Russian Femininity

Websites of marriage agencies promote Russian women as being more “family-oriented” than their Western counterparts; happier to put their careers second and their children first; and more willing to play the role of a traditional wife and mother. At first glance this seems to be an empty cliche, especially given the numbers of Russian women with jobs working long hours, and the new class of female managers emerging in Moscow and other big cities. But women across the board seem to agree that there is more than a grain of truth to the stereotype. “The main thing for Russian women is to have a husband and kids,” said Olga Zaretskaya, editor of Marie Claire Russia. “It’s really not just a stereotype. Careers might be important, but the main thing is children. And there may be promiscuity, but it’s all part of the game of finding the right man.” Elena Kochkina agreed: “If you speak to any number of 18-year-old Russian girls, none of them can imagine not being mothers; they all want to have children.”

But, said Kochkina, this is where the imperatives of Russian womanhood clash with the realities of modern Russian life. “Women want to have children, but when it comes down to it, they face a structural tension - they don’t have the financial means to do so,” she said. This explains the fact that the abortion rate in Russia is twice the birth rate. “Now everyone is talking about the demographic crisis,” said Kochkina. “We said 15 years ago that there would be a demographic crisis, because if you subject women to such an extreme set of circumstances they will get pregnant, but end up being forced into abortions or giving their children up to orphanages. But back then [former Prime Minister Yegor] Gaidar said to us: ‘You keep talking about a social democratic model of reform, but we’ve negotiated with the World Bank, and are taking a neoconservative position.’” Now, the state has realized it needs to do something to stem the demographic crisis, but Kochkina is critical of the plans under the National Projects to give cash payments to mothers having more than one child. “There needs to be a more structural approach to changing demographic trends - you can’t just offer up $8,000 and hope that women will give you a child. It’s like some kind of PR promotion.”

Lack of financial means is not the only problem facing Russian women. Through the Soviet years, and still today, domestic violence, often alcohol-fueled, remains a massive problem. The issue has only been open for discussion fairly recently. Because women and men were theoretically equal in the Soviet Union, the problems faced by women were not discussed. Even when glasnost came, it was a struggle to address these issues. “During perestroika, all the hidden pages of society began to be discussed openly - except gender issues,” said Azhgikhina. “I had to struggle with my editors to talk about domestic violence - their attitude was that there was no discrimination, no problems, and therefore no issues to be discussed.”

But feminist dialogues from the West didn’t seem to make much sense either. “I remember that in the early 1990s we translated Betty Friedan’s book The Feminine Mystique into Russian,” said Kochkina. “I met her in New York and she was horrified when I told her that the Russian print run was just 5,000 copies. But when I read it, I remember thinking that it wasn’t at all interesting to me. I was at the epicenter of the post-Gorbachev feminist movement, and I was reading the work of this American icon and it seemed totally irrelevant,” she said. “Fifteen years ago, we didn’t have shopping crazes, we didn’t have the cosmetics industry, we had much less prostitution - now, some of the things she wrote about seem more relevant.”

Limits to Success

The female half of Russian society is still grossly underrepresented at the top levels of both politics and business. St.Petersburg’s Valentina Matviyenko is the sole female governor in a cast of nearly a hundred, while the only top-level female oligarch is Yelena Baturina, who enjoys the convenient status of being married to Moscow Mayor Yury Luzhkov. “Females are prevalent in the medium and lower levels of business,” said Azhgikhina, “but the top level was dependent on the reallocation of former state property. Women were not directors of factories in Soviet times, so they did not participate in this redistribution of property.”

But despite their absence at the very top, there is a growing class of independent, career-driven women. “There are plenty of girls in Russia who live off their boyfriends or husbands,” said Zaretskaya of Marie Claire. “Perhaps it’s not quite prostitution, but it is dependence. Marie Claire is aimed at women who earn their money themselves; who don’t have to report to their men. As the economy develops, the number of these women grows; in Moscow quickly, in St. Petersburg more slowly, and in the provinces slower still, but still, the trend is there.”

But even these independent women are not “feminist” in any way, insisted Zaretskaya. “For us, a feminist is a woman who looks like a bulldog, is aggressive, and is single because nobody wants to have sex with her.” She noted that the articles in Russian Marie Claire are significantly different from those in the U.S. version of the magazine. “The American edition often has articles about tough Alpha Females - but if a Russian woman behaves like an Alpha Female, men won’t be interested in her.”

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